EasyBlog

A fairly accurate look into the life and mind of the bum that captures the essence of the transient; 100% crazy. Take a bunch of homeless people and then stuff them full of the worst alcohol ever created and watch them melt. Plus many not safe for children topics including penis keep-away...wait what?

Street Trash really isn't for everyone. On many levels, it is almost too morally offensive. There's several sequences that are almost too uncomfortable. These bums are horrible, horrible people. They truly care about nothing but themselves and have as little regard for human life as Dr. Josef Mengele. Enter at your own risk and do not bring a date to a viewing of Street Trash.

This week Sam brings in an seriously oddball in Street Trash, the tale of many, many, many insane bums that like to do horrible things to others.

Streaming Do's and Don'ts

• Prophecy II - Netflix
• The Crippled Avengers - Netflix
• Best of the Best 4 - Netflix

The Great Superpower Debate

• Self-Replication w/many caveats - 6 stars

About Street Trash - Movie Information

Sam's Boring Bullshit

The year is 1986. Fresh off his first job as a Steadicam operator on the film Spookies, James Michael Muro, then 21 years of age would embark on expanding his short film into a feature. What would follow is the 1987 film Street Trash. Street Trash opens with a series of Steadicam shots and then quickly darts into the realm of nonsense. I was unable to find if the original short film was written by Roy Fumkes but the feature length work seems to understand the psyche of the bum completely, while not understanding genre or storytelling at any level. This film is labeled a horror, specifically a body horror.  Now there are other films that ride the body horror angle without really being a horror, some of Cronenberg's work, none to this extent. If I had to pick a genre for this film it would be adventure. Though the misadventures of bums is not really an adventure, nor is never leaving a 3 block radius.  Bumventure is not a subgenre of film, if it was this would be more of a bum-venture than a body horror. In some defense of it's classification the film is very goopy and considered by most fans of the melt movies to be a melt-erpiece.   

That ol' nasty Aztec cult living in NYC rears its ugly head again and resurrects a giant flying hotdog-turtle that eats bikini ladies. Meanwhile, a low level criminal butthole douchebag treats his girlfriend poorly and then takes a couple of barely working cops on an egg chase.

Believe it or not, this film shouldn't be called "Q", unless "Q" stand for "Quinn" because this film is not about a flying dinosaur(?) worshipped by an Aztec cult. It's truly about Jimmy Quinn, a low level criminal that doesn't understand how to do his job and his quest for fame and fortune, set to the background of a giant flying serpent attacking NYC. Here's a simple test to verify this: Tell us what the story of Q is in this film and then tell us what the story of Jimmy Quinn is in this film. You have a beginning, middle and end to Quinn; you understand his motivations, his relationships and his desires. Quinn is the main story.

This week its time for a definite must see stinker in Q: The Winged Serpent, starring Michael Moriarty, David Carradine, and Richard Roundtree. Sam and Justin have already proclaimed this as making both their Top 10 Year in Review films so you don't want to miss this one.

Streaming Dos and Dont's

Make sure to pick this 50 movie set Sci-Fi Invasion at Walmart. There's a ton of great bad movies on it and we highly recommend it.

Private Joe Armstrong (Michael Dudikoff) makes his dramatic debut to Stinker Madness with enough cool guy stares to melt a polar bear when he and Steve James team-up to punch and kick guys....and shoot them...and blow them up....sometimes run them over....and other ways you can kill guys.

Joining us for this episode is Joe Fulgham from the always funny and sometimes grody podcast, Caustic Soda. If you've never heard or had the chance to listen to these guys you are blowing it. As in "not ever having seen No Holds Barred blowing it". We listen to each and every episode, its that good.

Well, who didn't see this one making it to the program? It's 1). Michael J. Dudikoff 2). Cannon Films and 3). Ninja baloney that doesn't require any working knowledge of ninjas, just that they are sweet. 

We've got a VERY special guest for the American Ninja main episode, Joe Fulgham from the Caustic Soda Podcast. You don't want to miss this one.

The deadliest game comes to Stinker Madness once again in the form of Ozploitation with 1982's Turkey Shoot. Brian Trenchard-Smith delivers a classic stinker with some seriously insane sequences and a hell of lot of fun.

Turkey Shoot has a reputation for being pretty hardcore with heavy exploitative tones and excessive gore. We're not really seeing it. This is a fairly tame movie (in relative terms) to other "exploitation" films (see Cannibal Ferox, Mad Foxes, Killer Elephants et al.) So no one should go into this one thinking they are gonna get really offended or grossed out.

Finally we get to another Ozploitation film.  This time it comes in the form of a dystopian society that hasn't learned to "NEVER HUNT A MAN" in Turkey Shoot or Escape 2000 from Brian-Trenchard Smith. The full movie is finally on YouTube so be sure to watch this one. It's a hoot.

Streaming Do's and Don'ts

• The Prophecy - Netflix

The Worst Sports Movies We've Ever

• Ed - The further we get away from Ed, the more we like it. It's a strange phenomenon.
• No Holds Barred - Imaginary Non-People Sanctioned Street Fighting on TV
• The Babe - John Goodman stars as Babe Ruth and it completely doesn't work. Hokey and cheesy.
• Over the Top - Arm Wrestling Truckers....that's a sport right? Ruining your child's future may also be a sport.
• Rocky V - Rocky is suddenly poor....after defeating Communism...huh...
• Mathilda the Boxing Kangaroo - How did Eliott Gould get involved in this? Future Stinker Madness episode
• The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh - People born under the sign of pisces team up to save basketball in Pittsburgh with their star powers...Future Stinker Madness episode.

The Great Super Power Debate

Immunity to poison gas - 2.5 out of 10

Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode

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The hottest awards for bad films in 2015 are here and the winners are all set. Listen to the 2015 SMABFA Podcast and check out all the nominees and winners below.

And the Nominees  & Winners are (winner in bold):

Best Bad Movie - The Most Enjoyable Bad Movie

• Paul Blart Mall Cop 2
• The Transporter Refueled
• Furious 7
• Jupiter Ascending
• The Last Witch Hunter

Worst Bad Movie - The Least Enjoyable Bad Movie

• Hot Pursuit
• Mortdecai
• Aloha
• Fantastic Four
• The Gallows

Best Bad Actor - Most Enjoyable Performance by a Male Actor

• Ray Stevenson - Transporter Refueled
• Eddie Redmayne - Jupiter Ascending
• Paul Bettany - Mortdecai
• Rupert Friend - Hitman: Agent 47
• Jason Statham - Furious 7
• Paul Walker - Furious 7

Best Bad Actress - Most Enjoyable Performance by a Female Actor

• Emma Stone - Aloha
• Dakota Johnson - 50 Shades
• Julianne Moore - Seventh Son
• Rose Leslie - Last Witch Hunter
• Juliette Lewis - Jem and the Holograms

MST3K Most Riffable - The easiest and most fun to make fun of film while viewing

• Jupiter Ascending
• 50 Shades of Grey
• Last Witch Hunter
• Point Break
• Seventh Son

New SMABFA Categories:

Worst Bad Actor - Least Enjoyable Performance by a Male Actor

• Johnny Depp - Mortdecai
• Eddie Redmayne - Jupiter Ascending
• Edgar Ramirez - Point Break
• Jeff Bridges - Seventh Son
• Ryan Shoos - The Gallows

Worst Bad Actress - Least Enjoyable Performance by a Female Actor

• Teresa Palmer - Point Break
• Sofia Vergara - Hot Pursuit
• Kate Mara - Fantastic Four
• Reese Witherspoon - Hot Pursuit
• Julianne Moore - Seventh Son

Least Funny Comedy - The "Comedy" movie that is the least humorous

• Hot Pursuit
• Pixels
• Paul Blart Mall Cop 2
• Mortdecai

Eligible Films for 2015:

• No Escape
• Point Break
• Aloha 
• Hot Pursuit
• Mortdecai
• Pixels
• The Gallows 
• Taken 3
• Fantastic Four 
• Seventh Son
• Jupiter Ascending 
• Hitman: Agent 47
• The Transporter Refueled
• Jem and the Holograms
• The Last Witch Hunter
• Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 
• 50 Shades of Grey
• Furious 7

The SMABFA awards will be listed on this page and presented on the Stinker Madness podcast as a special episode released on February 15th, 2016 at approximately 10AM MST. Make sure to tune into the Stinker Madness Podcast and listen to the SMABFA Awards Show.

In October of 2015, Jem and the Holograms was released into US theaters with much fanfare, and by fanfare I mean people asking "They remade Jem? Well that was dumb..." and then one week later it was nowhere to be found, instantly making it a SMABFA contender. Whose idea was this anyways?

Jem is a moral tale for females of the Millenial generation. So think of the most annoying thing in the world. Correct, its a teenage girl from that generation. So that's not good. However, the moral really is a good one; that girls shouldn't be who society dictates they should be, they should be themselves and revel in their own strengths and weaknesses. It's a great moral and we at Stinker Madness fully support it.

This week we finish off the last of our 2015 SMABFA contenders with the remake of Jackie's favorite 80's band of cartoon ladies. Could Jem and the Holograms preserve the cheese of the original cartoon or will they try to modernize it, making it completely boring?

Jackie's Movie Call Cast List

What animal do you bring to a open call casting so that the producer chooses you. What?!?!

Paul Verhoeven had a vision for a caricature of a Fascist future society and totally nails it in the guise of a silly space battle movie. Toss in a 3 way love story with incredibly strong and easy to care for characters, exceptional acting and you've got one of hell of a good movie.

Why then is this movie on Stinker Madness? Well because in 1997 the critics and Sam and Justin made a single mistake; they didn't get this movie. The world wasn't ready for Starship Troopers. We were expecting a film adaptation of the Robert Heinlein science fiction novel of the same title. We weren't expecting a high school football game with backflips. We weren't expecting children smashing beetles and mothers laughing maniacally at it. We weren't expecting Robocop and Total Recall with a serious story and moral statement. So it was panned by critics. Thus making it a "bad movie". But it truly is a masterpiece in pop culture.

With this episode of the famed Stinker Madness Podcast we prepare for 1997's Starship Troopers from master of stuff, Paul Verhoeven. Despite having a solid IMDB user rating, the critics panned it. Does Johnny Rico get better with age? Can Denise Richards be more than just walking boobs? IS the only good bug a dead bug?

Streaming Do's and Don'ts

• The Runner - Netflix

Pop Quiz, Hot Shot? - How do they do drugs in film?

• Sniffing cocaine - powdered lactose
• Heroin cooking - sugar & baking soda
• Smoking weed - Wizard Weed - weed with no THC. Same things cops use when they go undercover.
• Crack rocks - Rock candy OR glue and baking soda
• Needle injections - prosthetic arms, trick needles, OR for budget movies - stunt guy just frickin' does it.

The Great Superpower Debate

• Face freezing power - 2.5/10

About Starship Troopers - Movie Information

Sam's Boring Bullshit

My confused relationship with this film begins in 1997 when I saw it at the theater. It was as any of my confused relationships have gone. I take a girl out to tacos and then afterwards there is that “should I ask her to ice cream even though I am not that into her” moment. I don’t ask and two years later I find out she was allergic to tacos and she just wanted to tug me off in her Camaro. That is when I realize, holy shit, I didn’t get what was going on there, I would have totally got my wiener pulled in the back of an American classic, alas that ship had sailed and the tug boat headed down the stream to tow a different load into the bay of soiled upholstery. That is about what happened with me and this movie. When it came out I thought it was okay but kind of weird, totally didn’t get it. I read the novel about 5 months after seeing the film and would, for the next five years or so, hold Starship Troopers as the gold standard for how to fuck up a novel.

For 25 years, people have been celebrating a film about a FBI guy spending 3/4 of the movie trying to get fired and perhaps sent to prison, while steadily falling in love with a dude brah. Since its release apparently no one has watched it because this crap stinks and not in good ways.

I'm sorry to say everyone but this movie just isn't very good NOR is it very bad. It is as middle of the road and completely unremarkable as any movie has ever existed. What? It's not very good? 

Johnny Utah finally graces our presence in Kathryn Bigelow's second appearance on the show. Can it POSSIBLY be a good movie? Can it be a bad movie that everyone thinks is good? Or is it just the same as her Near Dark and just meh? Least Busey is in it.

Streaming Do's and Don'ts

• Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life - Netflix (No longer available)
• The Thaw - Amazon Prime
• The Brain that Wouldn't Die - (with MST3K) - YouTube
• Darkman - Netflix

The Great Superpower Debate

Telekinesis limited to 8 ft range and 40 lbs. - 6.5 stars

For years people have been requesting a remake of a really stupid and poorly thought out 90's movie with horrendous acting and too many "dude bros" and then make it much much stupider. Wait...no one asked for that? Then wait the hell is the point of Point Break (2015)?

The story of 2015's Point Break is truly one of the more poorly thought plots in recent memory. Johnny Utah must go undercover into some extreme guys again and to do it he must also do extreme stuff to build up their trust. There the plot similarity ends. The real dumb stuff is the motivation of Bodhi and his crew. They are going to save the Earth (environmentally, ie. "Mans progress is totally harshing my groove, bro" crap)...by doing 8 extreme sport/stunts. Yup. Save the Earth by jumping off stuff. Now one can argue that they are environmental terrorists who are going to stop corporations from damaging the Earth by extreme criminality but at no point would any of their stunts do that, one, in fact, damages the Earth more than the activity they are preventing and then halfway through the movie, they just give up on that completely and just do extreme sports so, as Bodhi puts it, "become one with the Earth". If only "becoming one with the Earth" meant splattering into the side of it at terminal velocity.

In what very well may be the worst mad scientist plan of all time, Professor Stoner (didn't make that up) turns innocent David from Man to Snakeman to.....well mongoose lunch. It's ssssssso ssssssstupid! It should be mentioned that no other film on this podcast is as worthy of being a MST3K episode.

Sssssss suffers from being not only very poorly thought out but also has some of the least movie making efforts ever attempted in film. It's not quite as useless as Frogs but tries to dupe us that it is a film but just showing shot after shot of crazy! snakes. However, they are live snakes and the actors aren't trained professionals so that at least makes these sequences viewable. Each sequence of snake business is spent wondering if the actors are going to get bit or smooshed or if they are accidentally going to kill one of the little serpents. ASPCA be damned!

This week Justin rolls the dice on maybe the worst movie title of all time. Seriously, try to tell your friends your watching Sssssss and listen how it comes out of your mouth. Onomatopoeia should never be used in film titles. But we think its about snake men...

Streaming Do's and Don'ts

• Moonraker - Hulu Plus
• The Living Daylights - Hulu Plus
• Tomorrow Never Dies - Hulu Plus

The Greatest Super Power Debate

Fish Man - 6.5 stars

In the year 1994, disco has become such a force in culture that record producers can rule the government forcing the citizens of Earth to face prison time and social rejection if they are not down with "BIM"...we still aren't sure what BIM is but apparently you must be down with it. However, we are not.

This movie stinks! Wow is this not how you make a movie and its such a mess that it becomes a spectacle. Normally, movies that predict the future are pretty off in their predictions of how we live but this one is WAAAAYYYY off. I don't remember glam in 1994's music. Maybe I misses something but I don't remember flannel having alot of glitter on it. But this film just can't believe that disco and "The Bay City Rollers" weren't going to rule music.

Jackie brings us her third musical mess with 1980's The Apple from Cannon Films, directed by none other than Menaham Golan. Can it beat out other similarily crappy 1980 films Can't Stop the Music and Xanadu?

Streaming Do's and Don'ts

• 36th Chamber of Shaolin - Netflix
• Hidden Assassin - Netflix
• Assassins - Netflix

The Great Superpower Debate

Shitting Telepathy