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It's Evil Dead part III (only in Italy) and has absolutely nothing to do with it. It also has nothing to do with Hoff being Hoff nor Linda Blair being Linda Blair. Nor does it have to do with a plot that makes any sense. Nor does it have to do with being enjoyable.

Witchery (or La Casa 4 in Italy - thus the sequel to Evil Dead) is the baffling tale of a fallen actress whom lives in an island hotel and becomes a witch at some point and then attempts to perform a ritual to either close the gates to Hell or summon Satan to provide the seed for the anti-Christ. It's really impossible to tell what the hell (or not hell) is going on here. You've then got Hoff and Blair running around in the hotel trying to piece together what's going on while avoiding death and trying to escape.

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Most will see this as a Monkey's Paw retell but it's really and truly just a recut of Teen Witch but without all the singing and dancing and then they made it so much crappier...crappier than Teen Witch. Yup.

Some movies are prime for knocking off, right? See the endless list of Jaws and Conan movies from late 70s and 80s. See any Roger Corman movie post-Star Wars. Sure, you won't work very hard on it and make just a few bucks but hey, that's easy money. 

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Bugs, bugs, bugs!!! This movie is chock full o' bugs! Large bugs, small bugs, bugs as big as your head - hell bugs that are MADE of your head. Heads that are made of bugs. I got bugs under my skin and bugs on my brain. Hope you like bugs.

The Nest falls into the "body horror" genre as far from being a body horror film as one can be. This should fall into the "its JAWS but bugs are super cheap to work with" genre. Its just the JAWS plot but with bugs. Yes there is a smidgeon of body horror but its not exactly From Beyond. However, there is a lot of good here.

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Clint Howard delivers ice cream and one liners as a murderous Schwann's delivery guy. Is he the Pied Piper or just every other ice cream man? With top cops, Jan Michael Vincent and Lee Majors II on his case, how can he possibly get caught?

While we're not entirely sure what this movie is, we can tell you one thing - it's a lot of fun. It doesn't rise to the so bad it's good level that Troll 2 does, but that's likely to Clint Howard being too talented - but it definitely falls into that same category and tone. The two would make a great double feature. 

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Freddy is back and this time he lulls us to sleep with whale song and LBGTQ social commentary! It begs the ultimate question - does Freddy actually appear in this movie?

Freddy 2 is an absolute bonkers experience and through-out is a complete and utter-turd. At no point does it make sense that it was a commercial success and likely should have destroyed the Freddy franchise (and thus would have prevented the LOTR trilogy from happening) but somehow was a massive win for New Line and kept the doors open for another ten years. I guess that really states to the allure of Mr. K.

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Well hello, Mary Lou. So good of you to drop in and see me. Wait what are you doing??? Why do you have the powers of all the X-Men combined? Are you like an evil ghost Rogue? How do you work and what is your reason for existence???? Argghghgghghg.....gurgle, gurgle.

The above is a perfect summation of what each character should be asking the spooky-ghost or spooky-demon or spooky-ghost-demon that is Mary Lou, a 1950s prom queen who got burnt up like Freddy and lives in a suitcase for 30 years only to return and enact dubious revenge upon various 80s teenagers whom had nothing to do with her death. Why Mary Lou chooses to do anything she does is beyond us and where she got her spooky-powers is another problem. Lastly, we really can't even begin to decipher the ending in which Mary Lou gets (what the movie tries to tell us) everything she wants, only to pull a Jason and not be dead so that she can take a road-trip with the kiddies.

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Buckle up for banana business as were-monkey-wolves try to throw a killer birthday party. Every body is invited. Leave your head at the door. It'll be a bloody good time. Ok..well unless Christopher Lee and some townies are party-crashers. Then you'll get shot up pretty good.

When you put Reb Brown next to Sir Christopher Lee, and then have a bunch of guys in Planet of the Apes costumes pretend (or not?) be werewolves, you're destined to have a mind-boggling mess on your hands. This thing is bafflingly bad. The events that transpire are sorta clear, but why they happen is absolutely nonsense. Best we can determine is that a lady's birthday orgy gets interrupted because he brother shows up.

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Six (count them - SIX!) Oscar nominated actors took a look at this garbage script and STILL signed up to do it. It's absolutely nonsensical. It's painfully boring. And it ALL sucks butt. Blech.

It's like they tried to say something in this film but had no idea what that was before they reached the end of the writing, so they just crammed in a bunch of nonsense to try to make a statement. If anyone can decipher what that statement is....

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A couple ding-dongs find a box with some stuff in it, so their only choice is to summon a crappy version of Slender Man and have him chase them around until 3:33am. Meanwhile you've got Grandma upstairs complaining about the trouble-makers in Selma, absolutely no reward if you beat the game, and a villain with dubious intentions. Hope you all like lengthy rules!

Soooo many rules! The length of the rules of summoning Midnight Man need to have a team of professional editors go through them. You might run out of ink in your printer. BUT there's a myriad of holes within them. For instance, Midnight Man will leave you alone after 3:33am. Is that GST? What time measurement system is he going by? Will a sundial work? Or can you just use your cell-phone? What about time-zones? What happens if someone else summons Midnight Man in Italy and Chicago? What's he do when he's NOT summoned?

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A faceless board-room guy (probably the one that fired James Gunn) is also a tree-man, octopus, tarantula with very dubious motivations, but likely he's actually the ghost of Chalton Heston, arboriculturist.

Slender Man the movie was doomed before it came out the gate. There is no way to pay this much fan service to the original creepy-pasta while trying to make a sensical story. Once you put Slender Man into an environment that must have some sort of back-story and character motivations and that old bummer, the Protagonist/Antagonist diatribe you've got no choice but to make your new horror icon look about as clever as the bird in the desk of The Wicker Man.

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When your mom has a beard on her knee from a man who may or may not be your dad or Santa, you're best option is to obsess over Christmas until you're in your thirties and then you go all Buffalo Bob so that you can become the actual Santa. Not just copy cat. Actually Santa.

Christmas Evil is arguably one of the strangest Xmas films ever created. It was made a time when horror movies tried to play on any holiday and the jingly time was no different. See (but don't watch) such films as Santa's Slay, Santa Claws, Don't Open til Christmas, Black Christmas, etc... However there's a complete banana-factor to this feature.

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"Don't do down that path, yah", the strange drunk man with dubious ambitions said to the new residents. Later he would take them on a wondrous adventure to bury a kitty-cat that he himself murdered. It was the strangest thing that week until the dead son came back as Little Lord Fauntleroy with super-powers.

Pet Sematary is just another in a long line of Stephen King movies that raked in the cash but not one theater attendee bothered to pay attention to what was happening on screen. The entire plot is bananas (and falls squarely into "the idiot plot") but that's the least biggest draw for fans of our show. It's all the elements around the plot, ie. the truckers who are clearly trying to break speed records, the undead cat that is just like any other cat, Gage acquiring super-powers upon being reanimated and that the family never asks "Who the hell is this Judd Crandall guy anyways?"

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We wrap up our Spooktober with a staple from a staple franchise and one of the strangest big box office horror films ever made. This is just a strange film starring "Jason" with lots of head choppins, boobs and a cast of some pretty unusual characters.

So Jason V is one weird film and frankly astounds that it ever frightened anyone...even children. It's seriously gentle in its horror, the plot is not frightening, Jason is not intimidating, and the gore is pretty mild. The MPAA really didn't help out this film at all as it's seriously cut down.

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Cat people. It's a movie about cat people. Written by horror master, Stephen King, it's arguably the most comedic horror film ever made. You thought Dreamcatcher was rife with errors...buckle in, folks.

Sleepwalkers is absolutely bananas. We'll just say right now that this is a must-do film for fans of crummy movies. It's a laugh riot. For instance, let's just put it out there that the chief action star of this film is a house cat, named Clovis. Clovis rivals Chuck Norris, Schwaz, Stallone and Van Damme in the pantheon of 90s action stars. I'm not joking.

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It was one of the biggest horror movies of the 2000s and created an entire style of film-making on the cheap for such studios as The Asylum and Blumhouse. So that should mean its good, right? Wrong. Saw stinks on ice. Happy 300th episode to us, I guess.

Where to begin with the problems of the film? Well lets actually start with a compliment. It only cost $1.2 million. Could they have used the money more wisely to make a better film and still raked in the cash? Absolutely. 

While we're too late for Thanksgiving, it's never too late for a movie about an ancient Native American curse that manifests itself in the form of a very dirty mouthed killer turkey. When you have 0 money and you accomplish what was done here gives us a tip of our hats but a wag of the finger too.

ThanksKilling deserves to be congratulated. It's a better film in all standpoints than the majority of films that cost 0 dollars to make and better than even a majority of films by The Asylum or any crummy gimmick movie showing daily on SyFy. The effects aren't bad, many jokes delivers (some do NOT), the pacing is never dull, and the bad acting is pretty fun. It deserves some merits.

This episode of the podcast centers around the classic Thanksgiving film from 1972, Blood Freak. Its that old tale of a man who smokes a little pot, eats an entire turkey and those goes on a tryptophan fueled and murderous rampage by becoming a freaking turkey. Yep. That's it.

Blood Freak is freaking insane and one of the worst movies ever made. The production values are incredibly poor with poor lighting, out of focus shots, terrible set design and horrible acting. It's right in line with films like Eegah!, Monster A Go-Go, The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies, or anything starring Tor Johnson. How this managed to get past the MST3K crew is a mystery deeper than where the hell is Amelia Earhardt.

In early preparation for Thanksgiving, Jackie gets a headstart with pulling the trigger on a turkey of a movie from 1972, 3 weeks early. But that's OK because it's a spooky tale about a motorcycle guy who smokes some pot and gets turned into a murderous turkey. Just like your family.

Special Segment - Films we've seen the most in a given period of time

Troll 2 has been widely hailed as one of the best bad movies ever made what with its documentary called "Best Worst Movie" and also topping the IMDB Bottom 100. Sometimes though a film can be overpraised in its horrendousness. Will Troll 2 stand up to the critical analysis that has debunked such films as Gigli and Mommie Dearest?

The short answer? No. No this movie is one of the worst ever made.

Finally, we hit one of the most notorious bad movies of all time. At one point, Troll 2 was the #1 lowest rated movie on IMDB.com until people realized it's freaking awesome. Praised by many and loved by tons, it's a treasure of a film and we can't wait to dive into it.

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