Avatar meets Star Wars meets LOTR meets the back of my eyelids. We discuss Patrick Wilson's fake muscles, the Ocean's 405, shark cycles, the daily commute for Atlanteans, the idiot plot, pillow poops, piss mouths, bro-bro brothers, The Nautilus, zoop guns, NOOOOO!!!! x 3, green volcano islands, lamest chief villain fight ever, and the great whale weapon of 2023. Read More

Get off my plane! Because it's all shot up. I think I'll join you. We discuss Team America, the first truly stoned POTUS, Operation Iraqi Freedom, escape pods, Glenn Close, cavalier explosives, supplexes, fax machines, F-18s being still awesome, 25th amendment, *ahem* other Presidents, Gary Oldman being silly and Air Force Two. Read More

Spooktober is here and so get out of that rollercoaster and into a tanning-banini and listen to this podcast! We discuss Ewan McGregor rocking the cradle, the "formula", Love Rollercoaster, spontaneous human combustion, The Heartbeat of America, OSHA violations, Home Depot forklift training, the coolest town festival for dads, not enough Tony Todd, and reviews of Weapons and The Substance. Read More

When you just can't pick a direction, go in all of them! That's worked out before, right?!?! We discuss the watermelon that predicts it all, 500 MPH Ford F350s, Zod and the Phantom Zone, putting a spotlight on mental health in the 80s, John Parker's rock dodging, holding back the fudge, shock towers, electro-kissing, most boring strike team, poison spit spiders, and no "Forever Young" today, buster! Read More

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“Cabin Pressure” (2003) is the cinematic equivalent of being stuck on the tarmac forever with a dying paperback and a screaming air vent. It’s not just dull; it’s aggressively, proudly dull—an unviewable mess that mistakes droning cockpit chatter and recycled stock footage for suspense. If turbulence were interesting, this movie would still find a way to taxi around it.

From the opening minutes, the film announces its priorities: beige sets, beige lighting, beige characters speaking in acronyms about systems we never see break in any satisfying way. Scenes repeat like safety demonstrations—pointless, bloodless, and performed by people who look like they’ve already mentally clocked out of the shift. The “action” is mostly cross-cutting between bored faces and a model plane that’s never given a convincing sense of scale, speed, or danger. You can practically hear the temp track begging to be replaced by something—anything—with a pulse.

The script is a wasteland of clichés and filler, the kind of movie where every problem is solved by the next line of dialogue rather than an actual set piece. No character has an arc; they have altitudes. Every attempt at ratcheting tension stalls into holding patterns: more radio chatter, more hollow commands, more reaction shots that mistake blinking for acting. Even the inevitable “hero moment” feels perfunctory, like someone looked at their watch and said, “Guess we should land this thing.”

For Stinker Madness seekers, there’s no campy payoff here—just the slow, oxygen-starved fade of a production that never gets off the ground. “So bad it’s good” requires swagger, accident, or at least a spectacular crash. “Cabin Pressure” offers none of that. It’s boredom at cruising altitude: a feature-length layover where the only emergency is keeping your eyes open.

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It's an Amazon commercial that reminds us how terrible Amazon is. Great job, Bezos! We discuss Ice Cube, how this even happened, COVID (ugh), Idiot Plot, action-mousing, the Defcons, how missiles work, the "data", YouTube's superior firewalls, making love to a building, flash drives (everyone's got one, right?), bums with Amazon accounts, is it IMDB Bottom 10? and do we actually owe Madame Web an apology, TV's Frank? Read More

Even kindergartners know you can't put living things in sealed barrels and expect them to stay alive! Come on! We discuss the stupid blazing sun, "the idiot plot", Rutger Hauer's scene chewing, Randall's secret lair and rent, how to burn a houseboat down, marina poop water, the old bang my girlfriend disguise, Rambo, DOJ hiring mercs on American soil, a buncha guns but choosing only one, tanto knives, and how this thing just isn't an absolute must-do. Read More

You better clear that runway or Michael Pere's gonna use the voice! We discuss Antonio Sabato Jr and Sr, Jay Andrews, the surprising amount of jobs the cast has had, plane skid-stops, bus loads of nuns, bratty Paris Hilton wannabees, hot soup on a plane, a surprising amount of clothed boobs for a Jim Wynorski movie, atolls vs islands, bulletproof food carts, "lavatory pipes", endless newspapers flying (again), flame-on runways, and forgetting about the guy shot in the heart so you can go make out. Read More