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Wish Upon

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Most will see this as a Monkey's Paw retell but it's really and truly just a recut of Teen Witch but without all the singing and dancing and then they made it so much crappier...crappier than Teen Witch. Yup.

Some movies are prime for knocking off, right? See the endless list of Jaws and Conan movies from late 70s and 80s. See any Roger Corman movie post-Star Wars. Sure, you won't work very hard on it and make just a few bucks but hey, that's easy money. 

So why in the hell does someone say let's mash up the tone of Final Destination 72 with the story line of an 80's movie with a cult status only with fans of bad movie podcasts? I mean who the hell are they kidding? This is just Teen Witch. One of the damn wishes Claire makes is literally "I want to be the most popular girl!" And of course, at the same point in the film, she gets it all taken away from her and has a feeling of desperation for her life without her magical powers. I mean, WTF? Teen Witch?!?! Who the hell asked for that? Or were you just that lazy? 

"Well I gotta rip of something since I'm clearly not capable of writing my own story so I'll rip off a movie that no one remembers except for a handful of people that only like terrible movies." GTH.

Past that, you've got the clear influence of the Final Destination series. The deaths that are paid for the "blood price" of the monkey's paw, I mean wish box, are overly elaborate with many red herrings in the Rube Goldberg style death sequences. Sadly, while the FD manner of this is frequently fun the ones in Wish Upon leave much to be desired with only the death of Sherilynn Fenn coming within the ballpark of sadistic fun that we hoped for.

Wish Upon is a true turd that doesn't have anything of redemption that makes it a do on our end. Avoid.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:2-star
Cheesy effects:3-star
Horrendous acting:3-star
Laugh-out-loud-ability:2-star
Ridiculous stunts:1-star
Gratuitous nudity:0-star
Memorable one-liners:2-star
Nonsensical Plot:4-star

Riffability:3-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 3-star
Bad Movie Quality:4-star

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Friday, 23 October 2020

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