The autobiographical story of how a teenage girl breaks her dad's "no banging guys who knock up other ladies and then get them terrible abortion doctors" rule over the summer at a sex-trafficking church camp for rich hypocrites.
Yes, I know this is your mom's favorite movie. There's strike number one.
It's disco fever time and the hottest club in LA manages to be one of the lamest clubs in LA at the same time. It's Jeff Goldblum, Donna Summer, Debra Winger and the Commodores giving us a 90 minute infomercial about disco life.
While Sam manages to be correct that this film doesn't have a plot, he's wrong in that it isn't any fun. Sure, it's not going to be for everyone - pretty much if you won't even admit that there was any decent songs during the disco era (I say screw you) you're not going to like any of this. Not because it's chock full of disco (it's mostly funk music) but because disco was so content-free and so is this film.
Nothing says box office magic like a contractually-obligated lead with zero acting experience teams up for a teen sex-romp with no teens or sex with 50-something moms as the target market.
Surprisingly, 2 of 3 Stinker Madness hosts say this is a do. They say that its just so bad that it comes back around to being watchable and a must-see for bad movie fans. They say that there's enough bad dancing, terrible costumes, horrendous songs, and enough hovercraft deaths to keep one engaged. They say..well who cares what they say - they aren't writing this crap.
It's bonkers-bad, sure. It's basically kitty version of Logan's Run, sure. It's got a cat-orgy scene, sure. It looks like crap, sure. But what the heck is the difference between this and the stage play? What did you people think was gonna happen here? Also Tay-Tay blows ass here.
Guys, it's just Cats. The stage play IS this bad. It's all crap. If you hate the movie and love the play, then put your head in a microwave if you can pull it out of your own ass. What did you want here? In fact, you should LOVE the movie because it's even MORE of the crap that you love from the play. Get the hell out of here.
So it turns out that Peter Frampton sucks - oh you knew that already? The Brothers Gibb surround themselves by people who can't sign and play as well as they do and let everyone else drag them into the depths of garbage. But Barry's hair looks amazing, at least.
Sgt Pepper's on it's face is a "do not do" movie before it even starts - you don't cover The Beatles unless you really are supremely talented, which The Bee Gees completely are, but the problem is that they allowed other people to be involved. You've got George Burns, Steve Martin, Alice Cooper, Peter Nicholas (yeah, who?), Donald Pleasance, Stargard and Frankie Howerd all covering Beatles tracks. Look, only a few people get to do that and none of you are qualified. Stop it! Stop IT!
Shabadoo, Boogaloo Shrimp and a cast of break dancers team-up with Golan and Globus, pump out a movie in a handful of months and leave us with one of the most important and culturally infamous bad movies of all time. Hope you like break-dancing!
Let's face it - this movie stinks and rules. There's so little happening but no one notices because it's masked by CONSTANT break dancing. It's wall-to-wall. There might be more more dance/musical numbers in this than Caberet and Chicago and Grease combined. Now that might scare off the casual bad-movie goer who is here for movies staring shirtless men with guns, but don't be afraid - this thing is electric dog-poo on fire.
In the year 1994, disco has become such a force in culture that record producers can rule the government forcing the citizens of Earth to face prison time and social rejection if they are not down with "BIM"...we still aren't sure what BIM is but apparently you must be down with it. However, we are not.
This movie stinks! Wow is this not how you make a movie and its such a mess that it becomes a spectacle. Normally, movies that predict the future are pretty off in their predictions of how we live but this one is WAAAAYYYY off. I don't remember glam in 1994's music. Maybe I misses something but I don't remember flannel having alot of glitter on it. But this film just can't believe that disco and "The Bay City Rollers" weren't going to rule music.
The very first Razzie winner gets an in depth look and wow, is it bad. It truly is worse than Xanadu (which we feel is quite the achievement). Its a fake biopic of how the Village People became successful but has no basis of reality. And we should mention that its super gay (not that there's anything wrong with that).
The film builds a universe that is not something we want to have anything to do with. People don't have jobs, people just come in and out of people's homes, random people off the street get pulled into parties without wanting to come to and people have NO concept of how anything works in real life. New York is built to be Camelot from Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail (Never mind, let's not go to Camelot. Ti's a silly place.) We would not like to go there.
Presented by Behind the Music: The Village People. In this in depth look, we learn about the Village People's little known 7th member, the Homophobe.
Jackie chooses yet another movie with crazy costumes and singin' and dancin'. But will the very first Razzie winner scare her away from making the same mistakes as A Star is Born and Xanadu? Or will a bunch of gay men that can actually sing and dance win over Sam's fear of disco? Check out Can't Stop the Music currently on Netflix and join in on the fun with us.
We dare to tackle 1980's danceical/musical/drama/romance/comedy/disaster that is Xanadu. We all know the story. Its that old tale of an artist that has no talent or motivation or confidence meets a magical roller skating deity that gives him the ability to meet a guy who has all the money and to woo him into investing several millions of dollars into building a roller-skating club/disco. You know that old tale.
Lets get straight to the mustard. This movie stinks. Its one of the worst ideas ever created. Let's take a the above idea, write a script that is 3 pages long, take a current hot "talent" who is mediocre at singing, dancing, and acting, intentionally put in bad special effects and throw in Gene Kelly just so you can feel bad for him. Xanadu is not so much a train wreck and more of a genocide of puppies. You really want to take your eyes off it.
Olivia Newton John is the centerpiece of this film in an eerily similar way as Babs was in A Star is Born. She is continually on camera as if the entire movie is just one big music video to prove to you all how wonderful she is. Isn't she wonderful? Isn't she???? No. She's at no point good or bad. She's just mediocre at everything. She's just an ok singer, she's just an ok dancer and she's just an ok actor but she's so crammed into your face during this thing that you wonder who saw what in this concept.
Brought to you by Foot Wheels, the latest and greatest! It so simple it just might work.
In 1980, Mt. St. Helens erupted, John Lennon was killed, Zep broke up, the hostages were still in Iran, the worst disaster in British aviation happened and then there was the crap on wheels that is Xanadu.
Jackie picks one of the all time well known worst musicals of all time, 1980's Xanadu. Its part of the pantheon of terrible roller skating movies with Skatetown USA, Roller Boogie and Solar Babies. Does it stack up to the other three?
Sarah Jessica Parker and Helen Hunt remind us why the 80's should stay dead in this zaniest, craziest, wildest, freshest, bubblegum romp. Sarah Jessica Parker plays Laney, a girl who just wants to dance, and Helen Hunt plays Lynne who just wants to put weird stuff in her hair (lobsters, grasshoppers, dinosaurs, etc...). But the pair are thwarted by the reality of life and the harshness of societal norms (like jobs and school).
The movie is the 80's in a can of pepper spray applied directly to the head. Everything is pink. Everything. Fine. Everyone has atrocious fashion sense. Fine. The music is awful princess pop. Fine. If you can get past those things there's still more non-decade specific problems that this movie suffers from (and rewards with).
For instance, the complete lack of a concept of reality. The girls go to Catholic School but never show up and if they do they ditch pretty easily. The Catholic School also features very young and attractive nuns only. They also practice outdoor gymnastics (ladies' pommel horse?). Everyone in this film can instantly be best friends without ever being properly introduced as well. "Hey, you're that new girl, right?," one girl might say. "Wow, you're like totally my best friend now. Let's tell each other our deepest secrets and get into zany trouble!", the other would retort.
Presented by "Boys Just Want To Do Nothing". Girls can keep their fun.
We prepare for the 80's in a nutshell with Helen Hunt and Sarah Jessica Parker as they dance their way to fame and fashion. Dance TV will never be the same.
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