Listen on Google Play Music

EasyBlog

This is some blog description about this site

The Forbidden Dance

forbidden-dance
2-star
0-star
4-star
4-star
0-star
1-star
2-star
5-star
5-star
3-star
7-star
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode

Become a Patron!

Watch the Trailer!

Want to save the environment but are only a Brazilian princess? Well, show off your pretend dance craze skills on American Bandstand! So long, climate crisis! The merengue is coming for you.

So what you've got here is a basket of terrible sequences from the minds of Meneham Golen and Greydon Clark. As the pair rushed the film out in just 56 weeks (from concept to release) in order to hedge their bets against Yorum Globus' Lambada (which released on the same day), what was given to the public was exactly what it deserved. See the lambada was no such dance craze as we've been told. It was a made up craze, likely pushed by the Cannon Group boys so that they could sell tickets to, you guessed it, these two movies. You show us evidence of there being a lambada fervor pre-1990 and we'll eat our shoulder-pad shirts. So yeah, suckers, you bought into some baloney dance fad, you get this thinly put together film in return!

Continue reading
Tags:

Roar

roar
5-star
0-star
2-star
2-star
5-star
0-star
2-star
5-star
3-star
2-star
7-star
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode

Become a Patron!

Watch the Whole Movie!

Well I guess if you ever wanted to watch a movie where the cast and crew literally get eaten alive by the stars of the movie, well this is that movie. Its horrifying and terrible and likely contributed to the end of the world. I say that without exaggeration.

What Roar is goes beyond anything that Tommy Wiseau, Neil Breen, and M. Knight Shamalyan had ever envisioned for a vanity-piece-gone-awry. There is volumes of material that are all worth reading about for this film, so I'll briefly sum up what you should know. Basically, Tippi Hendren and her husband Noel Marshall hatched an idea to make a film about living in peace with animals that are dangerous but misunderstood. Its about harmony with nature. So what they did was bought a large compound in the California desert and then brought in 150 big cats (and 1 elephant) to live with their family and then shoot a film with the lions, tigers, panthers and jaguars as the stars. Mind you this is all done with Noel and Tippi acting as head trainers, veterinarians and Robert Muldoons of the compound - all without a bit of experience or education on how to do so. So they built a set, hired Jan De Bont as cinematographer and start filming himself and his family getting eaten by their pets. This is hubris to the maximum.

Continue reading

Bare Knuckles

bare-knuckles
3-star
0-star
3-star
3-star
3-star
1-star
4-star
2-star
5-star
4-star
7-star
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode

Become a Patron!

Watch the Whole Movie!

He's a real tough guy, but almost everyone he deals with is just a bit tougher, but not tough enough to out tough his toughness. That was until he meets his weekly nemesis, Cat-Man!

So Zach Kane is a character. He's a total loser. He's a washed up boxer that now is a borderline vigilante who can barely make ends meet. While that seems like a fairly cliche character model for a late 70s action movie, there's a nice twist to Kane's character; he believes he's still one tough guy. He's never come to terms with his loserness, either by denial or just complete lack of context. He keeps getting his butt kicked by life and his own decisions but he's oblivious. Imagine Johnny Lawrence in episode 1 of Cobra Kai but never having any sort of redemption.

Continue reading
Tags:

Dangerous Men

dangerous-men
3-star
4-star
4-star
5-star
3-star
4-star
2-star
4-star
5-star
3-star
8-star
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode

Become a Patron!

Watch the Trailer!

Get ready to meet the most righteous dudes of movie villians and the most disappearing of protagonists. John Rad gives us one of the biggest and most glorious of trainwrecks in film. Black Pepper is coming your way, buster!

What you've got here is one of those "hey we found this movie, does anyone wanna finish it?" Filmed in the mid-80s this wasn't released until 2005 with an assist from Drafthouse. Much along the lines of Miami Connection its a masterpiece in bad filmmaking by a nice person and cost everything for failure. Sadly the director, John Rad (or Jahangir Salehi by his true name) had this movie sit on a shelf for 20 years and not have it released to the right audience until it was far too late. John died before this movie could do so. But what a gift to leave the world. Thanks John!

Continue reading

Conan the Destroyer

conan-the-destroyer
3-star
4-star
4-star
2-star
3-star
1-star
2-star
2-star
4-star
2-star
6-star
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode

Become a Patron!

Watch the Trailer!

Grace Jones shows up as not Red Sonja in one of the most loathed films from both Schwaz and the beloved Swords and Sorcery genre. I blame Dino....again.

Is it worth $4 to watch this movie? You’ll have to make it to the end of the podcast for that full evaluation. Is it worth watching if you already have access to it? Yes. This was one of my most hated films. For years I’ve called it Conan the Babysitter.

Continue reading

Looker

looker
2-star
3-star
2-star
3-star
3-star
3-star
2-star
5-star
4-star
4-star
6-star
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode

Become a Patron!

Watch the Trailer!

Albert Finney and Susan Day go on a misguided adventure into the dark dealings of a company that... wants to make more effective commercials and light guns? Is Digital Matrix the worst company ever?

There I am, watching this movie, wondering what Sam was thinking by choosing this movie for an episode. Honestly, the first 1/2 of this is pretty solid - mostly because you don't know what is going on in the same way that Albert Finney's Dr. Larry Roberts is stuck in the middle of a murder conspiracy and trying to put the pieces together. Then the second half is you focusing on hoping that the movie explains why the evil corporation does what it does only to learn that you never learn. You're lost in the same way that Roberts is when he's zapped by a light gun.

Continue reading

Runaway

runaway
3-star
3-star
1-star
2-star
3-star
2-star
2-star
4-star
4-star
5-star
7-star
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode

Become a Patron!

Watch the Trailer!

That bad guy from Stargrove hatches a diabolical plan to steal all the dubious chips using bug-bots while Tom Selleck's mustache chases tail AND Gene Simmons. Maybe program your robots to only attack your enemies, Gene.

What is Runaway? It falls into this weird pit where you can't really say its a stinker as there is a number of really well done things. Of course, Selleck is great. Gene Simmons is a great villain. Kirstie Alley and Cynthia Rhodes are competent. It looks good. The effects are solid. The "future" world (not sure if its the future as we never have a "Five Years From Now" card) is well crafted. The score is appropriate and subtle. Yet, somehow every bit of good is countered with pure cheesy stink.

Continue reading
Tags:

DOA: Dead or Alive

doa
5-star
4-star
3-star
4-star
4-star
1-star
1-star
4-star
3-star
3-star
8-star
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode

Become a Patron!

Watch the Trailer!

Another massive video game adaptation comes to us in the form of a fighting game with massive jiggle physics. Somehow they managed to supplement the jiggle with one of the dumbest villain idiot plot we've ever come across.

So let's get the obvious question out of the way - is DOA the movie as jiggly as the game - no. The sexuality in the movie is way toned down - due to trying to reach a mass audience including the sexually conservative Chinese market. Bummer.

Continue reading

Double Dragon

double-drago_20210503-170226_1
4-star
4-star
4-star
3-star
3-star
0-star
2-star
4-star
5-star
3-star
7-star
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode

Become a Patron!

Watch the Trailer!

Two "brothers" get chased around so that Robert Patrick's hair can capture the second half of the Double Dragon while teaming up with The Hyper-Color Gang. Patrick should have just drank more vodka.

What works best in this movie is everything that didn't work for me in 1994. Everything sucks. The look of the film is vomit. The acting is gut-wrenching. The plot is corny. The action is hammy. The one-liners are a series of eye-ball rolls. Yet somehow, in post-2007, this thing is such an absolute mess of terrible ideas that don't really happen anymore. Most modern movies revolve around just one or two terrible decisions ie. The Great Wall's plot, making the tornado a monster in Hurricane Heist, the dialogue in London has Fallen. This movie is instead a showcase of nothing but terrible ideas and failed concepts that all become awesome now.

Continue reading

Top Gun

top-gun
3-star
2-star
3-star
3-star
2-star
1-star
4-star
4-star
4-star
4-star
4-star
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode

Become a Patron!

Watch the Trailer!

Ok, you know what happens in this film. You've seen it at least twice and then have it crammed down your throat anytime you watch anything about 80's pop culture. But ask yourself this: what is Top Gun actually about?

Look, this movie is thing because of two reasons: Kenny Loggins and Tony Scott shot the hell out of it. If you remove those two things (or just the Tony Scott aesthetic) you've got Navy Seals again. Think of the world we could have had if Tony Scott sucked at cinematography. Tom Cruises doesn't become a huge deal, Scientology disappears and we never get The Mummy. Sure, Desert Storm might have lasted a few months longer but seriously Val Kilmer might still be funny and Katie Holmes life would have had less oppression/slavery in it.

Continue reading

Iron Eagle

Iron-Eagle
3-star
2-star
4-star
4-star
0-star
0-star
2-star
3-star
4-star
3-star
7-star
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode

Become a Patron!

Watch the Trailer!

Teenagers form up to take down an evil empire in their flying ships. Oh and rescue daddy. And get sage advice from an older veteran. Oh and act like a bunch of idiots along the way.

So I had no idea how bad Iron Eagle actually is. I had a level of expectation that it was mostly dumb and corny but WOW Iron Eagle is over-the-top stupid. I mean its hard to describe. It truly has to be seen to believed. Between the plot of a teenager likely bringing about WWIII while rocking out to Queen to flying through Beggar's Canyon in a deathrace to Jason Gedrick's constant deadpan in the face of death AND bad grades, you can just read what a stinker this thing is.

Continue reading

The Demolitionist

the-demolitionist
3-star
2-star
4-star
3-star
3-star
3-star
2-star
4-star
4-star
3-star
6-star
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode

Become a Patron!

Watch the Trailer!

Nicole Eggert goes part Robocop, part Wolverine, part Deadpool and all terrible in this cheese-fest from the 90s dark action bandwagon, while also managing to cram in Richard Grieco's true acting ability and still managing to be somewhat boring.

This is another movie that has all the things that are required to make a bad movie awesome yet isn't because of the filmmaking elements of the time. The feel and tone of the film bogs down all the awesome crap that happens. Its like a delicious donut served only with Metamucil. Boy, you want to enjoy the donut but your stuck drinking your geriatric medicine. Do you pass on the whole experience?

Continue reading

Dirty Dancing

dirty-dancin_20210322-180033_1
1-star
0-star
2-star
2-star
1-star
1-star
2-star
5-star
5-star
2-star
4-star
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode - Part 1
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode - Part 2

Become a Patron!

Watch the Trailer!

The autobiographical story of how a teenage girl breaks her dad's "no banging guys who knock up other ladies and then get them terrible abortion doctors" rule over the summer at a sex-trafficking church camp for rich hypocrites.

Yes, I know this is your mom's favorite movie. There's strike number one.

Continue reading

End of Days

end-of-days
3-star
3-star
3-star
2-star
3-star
2-star
2-star
4-star
4-star
4-star
7-star
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode

Become a Patron!

Watch the Trailer!

Its Schwazenator vs Y2k fears! The epic battle begins! Meanwhile, Gabriel Byrne gets a handful.

So what we've got here is that Satan wants to ensure that the Anti-Christ's mom is gonna be good to go when she's old enough for a rogering. The PROBLEM is that it takes about 15 views to understand that. The film is mostly just nonsense action sequences that could very well be just unconnected events if one isn't taking notes on the dialogue (or listening to a podcast discussing this all).

Continue reading

Stay Tuned

stay-tuned
2-star
3-star
3-star
3-star
0-star
0-star
2-star
4-star
4-star
4-star
6-star
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode

Become a Patron!

Watch the Trailer!

If 1980's Hollywood was obsessed with water shortages, the 90s was obsessed with evil cable TV. Here a husband and wife get sucked into a hellscape of television also known as CBS Primetime.

So what we've got here is that John Ritter's Roy is obsessed with watching TV and ignores his responsibilities, his kids and his wife. Pam Dobber as Helen seeks for a way to get him off the tube but that problem works itself out when both are sucked into a Devil's Gambit that sends them through various television parodies and tropes. If that wasn't the setup for 90's comedy gold...let's chuck $25 million at it!

Continue reading
Tags:

The Ice Pirates

ice-pirates
4-star
3-star
2-star
5-star
3-star
0-star
2-star
2-star
3-star
2-star
8-star
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode

Become a Patron!

Watch the Trailer!

Perhaps it was your favorite movie when you were 9. Maybe you should watch it again as an adult - it might still be your favorite movie.

Some movies that have production failures on the level of The Ice Pirates go into the barrel of cinematic toxic waste. The list is so long that we have only started to scratch the surface of such turds. Yet The Ice Pirates is a spectacle. Its failures never detract from what it was attempting to be and accomplish.

Continue reading

Steel Dawn

steel-dawn
4-star
2-star
3-star
3-star
3-star
0-star
4-star
4-star
3-star
4-star
8-star
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode

Become a Patron!

Watch the Trailer!

Its a straight-up western, but because its from 1987 it has to be set in a post-apocalyptic world and instead of cowboy hats, we get hair-spray helmets. Despite everything there might be a good movie buried in the sands.

So its Shane, Once upon in the West, Star Wars and Fallout 4. Ok, maybe Fallout 4 is Steel Dawn. Clearly, Fallout 76 is Steel Dawn. Anyways, this is a hot mess. 

Continue reading

Krull

krull
3-star
4-star
4-star
3-star
3-star
0-star
3-star
4-star
4-star
4-star
6-star
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode

Become a Patron!

Watch the Trailer!

Its one of those iconic 80's swords and sandals/science fiction blend movies and beloved by many. We can understand why, but this was a massive failure that likely cost the genre decades of great movies until the LOTR Trilogy.

So Krull is one of the most expensive movies of the 80s and fails on so many levels. You've got the classic inaction in action (nothing happens during action sequences), the choreography was done by Stevie Wonder, and the effects and sets are so overly impossible to do that they end up looking like 2nd grade paper Mache. The wire work is only worse in Spider-Man: Turn off the Dark. The costumes are atrocious and prevent the actors from actually engaging with each other or the scene itself. Its a mess.

Continue reading

Night Hunter

night-hunter
3-star
2-star
4-star
3-star
3-star
0-star
1-star
4-star
4-star
3-star
7-star
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode

Become a Patron!

Watch the Trailer!

It ain't Blade. It's 90s Anne Rice with unattractive people and inept opponents. And it all could have been avoided by drinking tea together.

At least everyone is evenly matched. Don's Jack Cutter is way ill equipped and ill prepared to be taking down even lower level vampires. Guns don't work, bud. A sword seriously would have been cheaper and more effective than his shotgun and M1911s. Or a hammer. Use a damn hammer! Why a hammer against vampires? Because the vampires have spines that are made of glass. Well big deal right? Nope that's the only way you can kill them. By breaking their incredibly fragile spine. Huh...

Continue reading
Tags:

Messenger of Death

messengerofdeath
3-star
1-star
4-star
2-star
2-star
0-star
2-star
4-star
4-star
4-star
6-star
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode

Become a Patron!

Watch the Trailer!

Charlie Bronson goes to Colorado to deal with that same ol' blood feud when two Mormon bros. branch out into some pretty wild dogma all while Charlie walks around and does some really bad reporting.

Bronson's Smith is arguably the worst reporter I've ever seen (Chris Cilliza at least says something even if its moronic) and I don't understand how anything happens in this film around him. We've got your classic idiot plot here. The villains yell out "Hey it's us, look at us! We're the water company! Arrest us!" while the surrounding cast of characters look at a silent Smith for all the answers. Usually Bronson is a blank slate in Cannon movies but I really can't blame him for this one. Smith is just that slow.

Continue reading

Just Subscribe Already!

Stinker Madness Podcast LogoIts obvious you like Stinker Madness, so subscribe to the podcast and get new episodes of Stinker Madness every week - on your phone, your tablet, your computer, however you like to listen! Once you’ve subscribed, free episodes will automatically download on Fridays and Mondays. Don't know what the hell a podcast is or what it means to subscribe? Enter the present: Click here.

  • I Don't Know How to Get a Podcast
  • Subscribe via iTunes
  • Subscribe on Android
  • RSS Feed
  • Listen on Stitcher
  • This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

itunessubscribe stitcherSubscribeOnAndroid