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Teenagers form up to take down an evil empire in their flying ships. Oh and rescue daddy. And get sage advice from an older veteran. Oh and act like a bunch of idiots along the way.

So I had no idea how bad Iron Eagle actually is. I had a level of expectation that it was mostly dumb and corny but WOW Iron Eagle is over-the-top stupid. I mean its hard to describe. It truly has to be seen to believed. Between the plot of a teenager likely bringing about WWIII while rocking out to Queen to flying through Beggar's Canyon in a deathrace to Jason Gedrick's constant deadpan in the face of death AND bad grades, you can just read what a stinker this thing is.

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Diggstown delivers the ultimate sleight-of-hand hustle to the viewer, by tricking everyone into thinking this is a great "con-job" movie. Look over here, guys and don't pay attention to the paper-thin plot and how the big con is just betting on unsanctioned boxing.

Let's just get this out of the way - this isn't a TERRIBLE movie, but it's pretty crummy stacked next to how good its telling us it is. The whole thing is a giant ruse. Maybe someone can take that as a sign of how well edited it is, but we can't. Our job is to breakdown stories and judge them and this story is ludicrously empty - it's borderline "idiot plot" except one of the requirements is that just ONE person has to show a sign of intelligence to prevent the whole movie - but even if there was one person who could show such intelligence wouldn't prevent anything BECAUSE NOTHING HAPPENS!

Chuck Norris, Louis Gosset Jr, and Melody Anderson go on a wild ride through various adventures on the way to get treasure. Along the way the face alligators, sinking cars, rebels, gang-rape village, the Mexican Gestapo, their own visual appearance, and elaborate aboriginal death traps. Sounds ridiculous? It is indeed.

Firewalker is Golan and Globus' take on the very popular and quite good, Romancing the Stone. In fact, it's a veritable carbon copy of the film but with your typical Cannon Films ineptitude. It's writing is completely out of control stupid, the entire plot is irrelevant to itself, characters have strange motivations and are generally unneeded, the acting stinks, the cast possesses zero charm or chemistry, and the action sequences are written by children.