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Sasquatch finds the love of his life and then her husband smashes his head with a rock. Shakespeare it is not.

So a couple get hit with rocks and get lost in the woods. What ensues is Squatch gets a crush on the lady and wants to have some alone time with her. Standing in his way is some rednecks, her husband and a local sheriff that's coming down from a bad peyote trip. And its way weirder than that. Its a tiny little indy-budget movie that is like the John Wick of DTV horror films as in someone that is GREAT at makeup directs and writes a movie. The makeup is great (like the stunts in JW) but the story is baffling (unlike JW) with the world of Bigfoot being very confusing and dubious. Throw in some Native American weapons and some bark armor and Bigfoot just gets weirder and weirder.

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Air humping in leg warmers meets journalistic malfeasance and everyone's lives are ruined. But hey! Jaime Lee is hot, so I guess that's ok.

Hailed as the film that ended Travolta's career (briefly, lets be honest) and set Jamie Lee back a few years, Perfect is anything but. Its way too long for such a paper thin plot and is stuffed with repeated unnecessary and irrelevant scenes that keep it dragging you into the depths of your sofa. Pedantic would be an understatement.  But poorly acted is not how we would describe it. At worst, the acting is "meh", "whatevs" levels aside from Jaime Lee who is pretty darn good here. Even Travolta who we love to bash on did just fine. It's not the actors who are at fault here.

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Its twists! Its turns! Its lefts and rights! Its yields to oncoming traffics. Its Acme Fake Tunnels slapped onto the side of a cliffs! Ben Afflecks and Charlizes try to give us a shocker and instead we get the upper decker.

Reindeer Games is such a pile of mess. On one side you've got "that friend" that watches this on TNT one night (usually while wishing they were invited to the party you're throwing but you intentionally didn't because they can't play in any reindeer games, OMG you're a total dick, dude) then later comes to you and begs you to watch it with them and then stares at you the whole time until 'the big reveal' and then waits for you to react - you don't and they are shocked. You're not the type of person who will be shocked (you listen to Stinker Madness and know your stuff) and so you're relationship gets even more strained but you feel guilty because of that one time when you were really hard up after your girlfriend (that you thought was at least a 9 but was really more like a 6 and just had a solid set of cans) dumped you for a bartender for a biker bar in a different county and this friend let you stay on their couch while you cried yourself to sleep for three days about 15 years ago. Thanks Frankenheimer!

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Freddy is back and this time he lulls us to sleep with whale song and LBGTQ social commentary! It begs the ultimate question - does Freddy actually appear in this movie?

Freddy 2 is an absolute bonkers experience and through-out is a complete and utter-turd. At no point does it make sense that it was a commercial success and likely should have destroyed the Freddy franchise (and thus would have prevented the LOTR trilogy from happening) but somehow was a massive win for New Line and kept the doors open for another ten years. I guess that really states to the allure of Mr. K.