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Trucks

trucks
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The movie that sets up the great Choppers vs Trucks War of 2006.

Trucks is what happens when you take a Stephen King story about murderous vehicles, remove most of the things that made it interesting, and then somehow replace them with even more nonsense. Like Maximum Overdrive before it, this adaptation manages to botch King's source material while still producing something that is far more entertaining than it has any right to be. The central problem remains the same: they're trucks. Just run away from them. Yet Trucks compensates for its complete lack of credible tension with bizarre decisions, ridiculous characters, and enough questionable filmmaking to make it an absolute gold mine for riffing.

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Volcano: Fire on the Mountain

volcano-fot_20220607-151322_1
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The 90's most Xtreme dude finds himself on an erupting ski slope. We're gonna shred some gnar over that volcano right? Well....no.

What we've got here is another Zombeavers. You want to talk about a great premise and setup for a fun disaster film that you won't ever forget? This is it. Dan Cortese in the late 90's on the slopes. A volcano surrounded by snow ready to blow. A deadbeat dad that doesn't care if his son is dead. A character named Stan in a volcano movie!!! Yet, Dan doesn't shred the slopes and jump over the volcano. The volcano and snow face off is vague and stupid. When the deadbeat dad gets his justs deserts its unclear if he even dies. And Stan does NOT ever chuck a man. Booooo....

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Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever

Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever
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An Internet meme gets its own movie which is supposed to be a Christmas movie but isn't. How long will it be before Lifetime calls us for the first Stinker Madness movie?

This film sucks, even by Lifetime Channel or made for TV standards. It's truly torturous. Strike one is talking animals. Strike two is the unending "jokes" that Grumpy Cat makes usually involving breaking the 4th wall. Strike three is the movie has nothing to do with Christmas. Take the Christmas decorations out of the mall and the movie remains completely unchanged. Even Kirk Cameron can make a movie about Xmas.

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