The Highlander theatrical cannon comes to a close...by making all the same mistakes as the first two movies and we can't thank them enough for it.
Highlander: Final Dimensions is a rollercoaster of absurdity that somehow manages to entertain despite its sheer ridiculousness. From the mind-boggling plot that's as convoluted as a tangled ball of yarn to the laughably bad acting that makes you wonder if the cast drew straws to see who would overact the most, this movie truly embraces its own brand of campiness.
Whether they are spacemen or from 1999 or from before the dinosaurs, The Immortals make some really stupid decisions and are pretty bad for Earth. How bout there can only be none?
If you're a fan of mind-bending and utterly nonsensical movies, then "Highlander 2" is your ticket to an alternate reality where coherence takes a vacation and weirdness reigns supreme.
The film kicks off with a bang, introducing us to the flying porcupine brothers. Yes, you read that right. These airborne creatures are an essential part of the movie's charm, leaving audiences scratching their heads and wondering if the scriptwriter had a secret petting zoo of mythical creatures hidden away or a crack addiction. Either is the only reason why you would include these two boneheads who look ridiculous and act even worse in your Highlander movie.
One of the standout moments has to be the love scene against a dingy city wall. Forget romantic sunsets or candlelit dinners; "Highlander 2" throws you into the lovely ambiance of a dirty wall in a crowded street somewhere between bizarre and uncomfortable. It's the kind of love scene that makes you question the director's choices but also keeps you glued to the screen out of sheer curiosity.
Michael Ironside's character is a whole other level of ludicrous. His over-the-top performance adds a delightful layer of absurdity to the film. You can't help but chuckle at the sheer audacity of his character's antics. Ironside seems to have embraced the chaos, turning his role into a masterclass of overacting that deserves its own spotlight.
And then there's Sean Connery's character, who apparently missed the memo on the rules of mortality. The film doesn't bother explaining how he's miraculously alive again, leaving us to ponder whether there's a magical head-putter-back-on machine somewhere in the Highlander universe or if Connor McCleod's affection for Ramirez is enough to resurrect the dead.
"Highlander 2" is a head-scratching, eye-rolling, and laugh-out-loud experience that defies logic at every turn. It's a cinematic rollercoaster that leaves you questioning the boundaries of storytelling and wondering if the scriptwriters were playing a game of "how many absurd elements can we fit into one movie?"
If you're in the mood for a movie that embraces the chaos, revels in the nonsensical, and features flying porcupine brothers, "Highlander 2" is your golden ticket to a world where anything goes, and explanations are for the weak. Strap in, and prepare for a ride you won't soon forget – whether you like it or not. We loved it.
Individual Ratings:
Over the top action: Cheesy effects: Horrendous acting: Laugh-out-loud-ability: Ridiculous stunts: Gratuitous nudity: Memorable one-liners: Nonsensical Plot:
Just because we think its nonsense doesn't mean we AND you can't like it, but seriously....
Highlander, the 1986 fantasy film directed by Russell Mulcahy, is a cinematic rollercoaster that manages to be entertaining despite its numerous flaws. To put it bluntly, it's not a good movie in terms of traditional filmmaking standards, but there's an undeniable charm and fun factor that makes it enjoyable for those who appreciate its chaotic nature.
Christopher Lambert dons the worst hair we've ever seen and leads an uprising against the Romans only to ultimately accomplishing nothing and dies off screen. There's nothing good about this film.
Zzzz....Oh I'm sorry. You caught me napping after watching Druids. What did I miss? Oh, nothing. Absolutely nothing? Ok. I'll move on to something else.
Christopher Lambert (the T is silent apparently) dons the role of Beowulf and defends an outpost in the future or past from Grendel, one of the "damned" who is a monster surrounded by a fart cloud, and his super horny mother. To defeat this evil duo, Beowulf must use his endless array of MI6-like weapon/gadgets and a series of flips and hand-springs. How many denizens of the outpost will survive before Beowulf gets the job done (spoiler alert - just 1)?
Lambert gives us another shining example why he should be the lead role in every bad movie. He's awful. Seriously bad. He constantly has this look on his face that seems like he's just staring at nothing (it turns out he's legally blind) and his accent is like Tommy Wiseau had a baby with Shakira. He delivers each line like its the ultimate one-liner after killing the bad guy with a bazooka at the end of the film. Let me put it this way, Lorenzo Lamas and Michael Dudikoff are better actors. But Lambert steals the show with this method and we loved him for it.
The effects and fight choreography are completely ridiculous. Grendel looks like someone did a really nice job of creating a monster but some producer decided he wasn't evil enough so they put in a nice post-production green/purple fart cloud that envelopes him the whole movie. There's an incredible amount of backflips, cartwheels and hand-springs that Beowulf uses during fighting and all lead to him to getting punched in the face by Grendel. That's right, Grendel doesn't claw or bite or rip people apart; he punches them right in the face like he was Chuck Norris, while being a hulking mass covered in farts. It's amazing.
Brought to you by "The Man Who Cared Too Much" - Starring Christopher Lambert
This week we prepare ourselves for the 1999 version of the classic poem with Christopher Lambert as the title character. Things to watch out for: How many back flips over the camera, how many times Lambert can't see anything, and how many times he cares too much. The movie is currently on Netflix so check it out and come back when we review the movie in full.
Netflix Do's and Don'ts
Beowulf (2007)
Iron Sky
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (Part IV)
Evolver
Real Important Question
What does "Best Picture" mean to you? What things do you look for in a film to make you think it should win "Best Picture"?
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Its obvious you like Stinker Madness, so subscribe to the podcast and get new episodes of Stinker Madness every week - on your phone, your tablet, your computer, however you like to listen! Once you’ve subscribed, free episodes will automatically download on Fridays and Mondays. Don't know what the hell a podcast is or what it means to subscribe? Enter the present: 
