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Stinker Madness is a podcast that comes out on a twice a week basis and is all about bad and cult movies. We try to dig deep into the vaults and find the best of the best in b-movies, cult classics, truly bad movies and hidden-gems. We also review streaming movies from Netflix and Amazon, have weekly trivia and general nonsense throughout. NOT FOR ...THE KIDDIES! More

2019 SMABFA Awards

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The hottest awards for bad films in 2019 are here and the winners are all set. Listen to the 2019 SMABFA Podcast and check out all the nominees and winners below.

And the Nominees  & Winners are (winner in bold):

Best Bad Movie - The Most Enjoyable Bad Movie

  • Serenity
  • Hobbs and Shaw
  • Angel has Fallen
  • Rambo: Last Blood
  • Cats
  • Hellboy
  • Xmen: Dark Phoenix

Fan Poll Results - Hobbs and Shaw

Worst Bad Movie - The Least Enjoyable Bad Movie

  • Serenity
  • Cats
  • Pet Semetary
  • Hellboy
  • MiB: International
  • Ad Astra
  • Xmen: Dark Phoenix
  • Godzilla: King of the Monsters

Fan Poll Result - Cats

Best Bad Actor - Most Enjoyable Performance by a Male Actor

  • Sylvester Stallone - Rambo: Last Blood
  • Nick Nolte - Angel has Fallen
  • Matthew McConaughey - Serenity
  • Sir Ian McKellan - Cats
  • Kevin Hart - Hobbs and Shaw
  • Gerard Butler - Angel has Fallen
  • Idris Elba - Cats
  • Jason Clarke - Serenity

Fan Poll Result - Kevin Hart - Hobbs and Shaw

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From Justin to Kelly

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Nothing says box office magic like a contractually-obligated lead with zero acting experience teams up for a teen sex-romp with no teens or sex with 50-something moms as the target market.

Surprisingly, 2 of 3 Stinker Madness hosts say this is a do. They say that its just so bad that it comes back around to being watchable and a must-see for bad movie fans. They say that there's enough bad dancing, terrible costumes, horrendous songs, and enough hovercraft deaths to keep one engaged. They say..well who cares what they say - they aren't writing this crap.

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Navy Seals

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Chaz is back and with the help of Michael Biehn and Billy Paxton, sends seven guys in to blow up some moderately dangerous weapons, comes back with only four guys and commits ineptitude and crimes against humanity along the way. Recruitment has never been so good, right?

Wow, is Navy Seals a terrible representation of America's top elite fighting force. I mean, if this is how things really are, help us all because bad things are going to happen around the world. Nothing here makes the viewer say to themselves, "Hey, those guys are doing a good job. I should join up." Now, all our libtard "war is bad" attitude aside, these guys are completely inept. They take the hardest route to do the most mundane of tasks and end up getting most of them killed with each step.

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The Black Hole

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A couple trash-cans team-up to assist in the destruction of many soulless husks all on a mission that is never stated all so the villain can become Dante and rule all of hell from inside of a Cylon.

While that sounds absolutely nutty, we hope that you're able to get to any of those points because this movie's primary problem is...zzz...zzz. Oh I'm sorry, just thinking about this film put me to sleep like warm milk. It's painfully boring. Once you get past the excellent model work (that doesn't have enough shots), the spectacular theme by John Barry (which you're done with after the first 3 times you hear it) and Robert Forster just being Robert Forster (a damn pro), you're left with endless exposition, painful banter between the robots, a completely up-his-own-ass villain just for the sake of it and tedium. Endless tedium.

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Beyond the Law

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Charlie Sheen puts on his tough guy face and then realizes he still has that Charlie Sheen face, so he runs with it. Here Topper Harley gets a little too close to the edge, in much hilarious fashion.

So the film's plot (while LOOSELY based off the real life Dan Black) is a pretty conventional "cop goes undercover and almost goes over the point of no return" but the manner in which its delivered makes for a pretty solid LOL time while adding in a lot of room for riffing. There's this juxtaposition between going dark and goofball humor that completely conflict with each other, making a weird tone to the entire experience. 

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The Three Musketeers

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Once upon a time in Hollywood, we made movies around soundtracks and the movie took a second place in effort. At the height of that craze, we were left with this malarkey and the legend of Chris O'Donnell was born.

Let's get this out of the way; we've come a long way since swashbuckling was big and there's good reason. It stinks. Think of watching Henry Cavill mess a bunch of guys up in an alley during the first season of The Witcher. It's badass. Swashbuckling is not. "Yes, but the kiddies can't exactly watch The Witcher split a man's head in half with a silver sword, now can they? Oh wise podcast critic! Haha!" Charlie Sheen might say. Ok, well then think of Viggo Mortensen fighting orcs at the Battle of Helm's Deep, you winning bastard! Swash-buckling is a complete waste of time.

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Cats

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It's bonkers-bad, sure. It's basically kitty version of Logan's Run, sure. It's got a cat-orgy scene, sure. It looks like crap, sure. But what the heck is the difference between this and the stage play? What did you people think was gonna happen here? Also Tay-Tay blows ass here.

Guys, it's just Cats. The stage play IS this bad. It's all crap. If you hate the movie and love the play, then put your head in a microwave if you can pull it out of your own ass. What did you want here? In fact, you should LOVE the movie because it's even MORE of the crap that you love from the play. Get the hell out of here.

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Silent Night, Deadly Night 2

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MERRY GARBAGE DAY! Eric Freeman earns his mark in the Stinker hall of fame in his eyebrow-tastic take on the Santa-obsessed killer maniac. If you can get past seeing SNDN 1 as well, you're in for a wild, holly-jolly horror film.

Let's be frank, there's not enough good crap in Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 to make it a cult hit on its own. It's the combination of the masterful Eric Freeman and Ricky's insane rampage that makes the rest of the film not matter and send it into many, many fan favorite "Christmas" cult classics. Eric's performance stands among titans and belongs among the elites of Tommy and Connie Young. It's beautiful.

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Santa Claus: The Movie

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Boardroom Santa! Ever been really into the business of Santa? Have a passion for Operations Management? Got a degree in holly jolly marketing? Wear a tie with your pajamas? Well this movie is for you! Just not for anyone else.

For the rest of us Santa Claus: The Movie is about as interesting as a government made educational training video. Its just painfully boring. "Santa has a meeting with Jeff and Susie from accounting! Oh boy would I like to see that!" he said sarcastically. "The elves meet in the conference room for a call with the supply department! Wowee!!!!" he said while shoving his head in trash.

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Santa with Muscles

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Good ol' Terry Hogan becomes Santa the Vigilante and fights a group of scientists who want to demolish an orphanage and then proceeds to do all the demolishing for them. Good job, Santa!

Santa with Muscles is bottom 100 material yet it's surprisingly fun. However, I can't really tell you why. At no point is anything so bad that its good. The action is all kind of meh, the set pieces are all underdeveloped, the villains never really enter the realm of over-the-top hammy. It's ALL super stupid but there's just something kind of nice about the whole viewing experience. It's just a weird little piece of garbage that's a "do" but can't really be explained.

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The Peanut Butter Solution

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It's a truly baffling experience that is nearly impossible to dissect but does feature a bevvy of bonkers content from start to finish. Arguably, no other movie is so far from being grounded in reality that this is an absolute must-watch for fans of nonsensical plots.

With any mention of The Peanut Butter Solution, it can't be understated how bonkers the plot is. Essentially a child goes into a haunted house, gets so frightened that his hair comes out and then goes on a quest to get his hair to grow back. That all sounds fine and good for a Saturday afternoon made-for-tv kid's movie but this pile is SOOO much more than that. While it really can't be written here, the plot is absolutely unfathomable and is completely off the rails.

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King Ralph

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Inside lives a truly great film that delves into commentary about what it means to be a leader, the sacrifices one must make for their people, that no one should be judged by their appearance, and that anyone can truly be great. Unfortunately, it's all thrown aside for the sake of groan-inducing hi-jinx and jingoism. Yay....

King Ralph is a debacle. It's a horrendous stain on film-making and for only one reason - the "comedy". Imagine a mash-up of The King's Speech and C.H.O.M.P.S. and then throw your popcorn into the toilet and replace it with burnt toast. That's your cinematic viewing experience here. It's atrociously annoying, horrendously offensive at points and trips over it's own wit to pickup a pratfall. Expect your living room to be as silent as all of England when they learned Hollywood planned to eliminate the entire Royal Family in effigy.

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Rambo: Last Blood

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Rambo rides off into the sunset (or dies in a pool of blood) but takes many, many, many people down with him on the way. It's a bloody, sticky, mess that will fall into the either love-it or hate-it folly.

So let's get this out of the way first - Rambo: Last Blood looks like absolute crap. Whomever shot this should be sacked. Very few shots look even as good as most DTV films and each vehicle scene features completely unnecessary rear-projection. Why in the hell does this have to look so awful?

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Baby Geniuses

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We all love babies right? Now what if we replaced babies with 6 year old kids with stunted growth and pasted their heads onto the bodies of little people? No? How about some CGI lip-syncing so they can talk? No? Ok, well how about stuffing a child actor into a bin of soiled undies? Yes, please.

So Baby Geniuses and it's followup are two of the lowest rated movies that have ever existed, despite the overwhelming amount of fake 10/10 reviews on IMDB, it still was a box-office smash. Why? Because people love babies! Babies can do no wrong! Even when they are covered in dookie, murdering bums, imitating John Travolta and keeping the secrets of life to themselves out of selfish dickery!

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2019 Spooktacular

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This week on the show we thoroughly review everything important this Halloween with regards to crummy movies. Special guest Tucker comes into the studio and delivers the laughs with his "beardy" style of humor.

We review -

  • Pumpkinhead (1988)
  • The Gate (1987)
  • C.H.U.D. (1984)
  • Sometimes They Come Back (1991)
  • The Lighthouse (2019)
  • Satanic Panic (2019)
  • Child's Play (2019)
  • The Lodgers (2017)

We write up the reboot of Pumpkinhead; "Pumpkinhead Goes to Sturgess", we solve the homeless heating problems, Tucker bans walls, how to lose a pie-eating contest, washed-up pirate ships, and a special Halloween round of "Pop Quiz, Hotshot".

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Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge

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Freddy is back and this time he lulls us to sleep with whale song and LBGTQ social commentary! It begs the ultimate question - does Freddy actually appear in this movie?

Freddy 2 is an absolute bonkers experience and through-out is a complete and utter-turd. At no point does it make sense that it was a commercial success and likely should have destroyed the Freddy franchise (and thus would have prevented the LOTR trilogy from happening) but somehow was a massive win for New Line and kept the doors open for another ten years. I guess that really states to the allure of Mr. K.

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Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

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So it turns out that Peter Frampton sucks - oh you knew that already? The Brothers Gibb surround themselves by people who can't sign and play as well as they do and let everyone else drag them into the depths of garbage. But Barry's hair looks amazing, at least.

Sgt Pepper's on it's face is a "do not do" movie before it even starts - you don't cover The Beatles unless you really are supremely talented, which The Bee Gees completely are, but the problem is that they allowed other people to be involved. You've got George Burns, Steve Martin, Alice Cooper, Peter Nicholas (yeah, who?), Donald Pleasance, Stargard and Frankie Howerd all covering Beatles tracks. Look, only a few people get to do that and none of you are qualified. Stop it! Stop IT!

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Druids

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Christopher Lambert dons the worst hair we've ever seen and leads an uprising against the Romans only to ultimately accomplishing nothing and dies off screen. There's nothing good about this film.

Zzzz....Oh I'm sorry. You caught me napping after watching Druids. What did I miss? Oh, nothing. Absolutely nothing? Ok. I'll move on to something else.

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Black Dog

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Patrick Swayze says Dalton was a weiner and gifts us the pyschopathic, blood-lusting, and man of the road - Jack Cruise. Along the way Meatloaf delivers his best, but still manages to get Asahi Guy murdered and bankrupts his own villainy scheme before it gets started.

Lets just get this out of the way - Black Dog is fantastic and is one of the few shining examples of perfectly bad in every way. Every bit of it is inept from the music, the casting, the script, the acting, the directing and the editing and has the "it" factor on all those elements for bad movie fans. It's a glorious seam-less mess that you couldn't set out to do such a bad job and have it work so well together. It's stunningly perfect and beautiful and a complete train-wreck.

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Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo

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Shabadoo, Boogaloo Shrimp and a cast of break dancers team-up with Golan and Globus, pump out a movie in a handful of months and leave us with one of the most important and culturally infamous bad movies of all time. Hope you like break-dancing!

Let's face it - this movie stinks and rules. There's so little happening but no one notices because it's masked by CONSTANT break dancing. It's wall-to-wall. There might be more more dance/musical numbers in this than Caberet and Chicago and Grease combined. Now that might scare off the casual bad-movie goer who is here for movies staring shirtless men with guns, but don't be afraid - this thing is electric dog-poo on fire.

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