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Jackpot

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They put commercials on this platform and we then give us this garbage? Maybe time to switch to cable....

"Jackpot" (2024) is an absolute disaster from the get-go. The plot is so implausible that it feels like it couldn't exist in any universe, let alone ours. Nothing about it makes sense, and from the opening scenes, you're left scratching your head, wondering why the writers even bothered. The jokes? If you can call them that—seem unfinished, like someone wrote the setup and forgot to add the punchline. You're constantly waiting for a laugh that never comes. It’s awkward, and the humor falls completely flat.

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Thunder

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You can't put lipstick on a pig but you can wear its eyebrows and escape the law!

*"Thunder" (1984) is one of those films that's so bad it's almost good. From the over-the-top acting to the bizarre plot, it's a movie that knows how to entertain, even if it's not in the way it intended. The acting is hilariously exaggerated, with characters delivering lines in a way that makes you wonder if they were trying to win an award for the most awkward performance. It's hard not to chuckle at the sheer silliness of it all.

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Final Justice

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You think you can take me? Well go ahead on and watch this stinker from Greydon Clark.

"Final Justice" (1984) is a film that occupies a peculiar space in the action genre, and how much you'll enjoy it hinges heavily on your tolerance for low-budget absurdity. At the center of this bizarre movie is Joe Don Baker's portrayal of Thomas Jefferson Geronimo, a tough-as-nails Texas cop who, unfortunately, ends up being more laughable than intimidating. Baker’s Geronimo feels like a caricature of every 1980s action hero, but without the charisma or the compelling edge needed to pull it off. Instead, we're left with a character that stumbles through the movie with more groans than grins.

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Tarot

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A great movie if you're part of the "under the sweater/over the bra" crowd, but even they won't remember that they saw it.

Tarot (2024) is an absolute masterclass in how not to make a horror movie unless you are just providing background noise for teenagers to make out. If you ever wondered what happens when you throw every horror cliché, plot hole, and half-baked character motivation into a blender, this is it. The result is a film so dumb and poorly thought out that it almost circles back around to being entertaining—for all the wrong reasons.

From the get-go, Tarot feels like a checklist of horror tropes. Creepy old woman? Check. Spooky house? Check. Jump scares every five minutes? Double check. It’s as if the writers Googled "horror clichés" and decided to use every single one, especially stealing from Evil Dead and Final Destination. But that’s not even the worst of it. The plot is an incoherent mess, with gaping holes large enough to drive a truck through. Characters make baffling decisions with motivations that seem to change depending on the scene—or, more likely, on the whims of whoever was holding the pen that day.

The acting? Let’s just say that calling it appalling might be too kind. Every line is delivered with the enthusiasm of someone who just realized they left the oven on at home. The humor, if you can call it that, is cringeworthy at best. It feels like the movie is trying desperately to be self-aware, but instead, it comes off as painfully awkward.

And yet... there’s something about Tarot that makes it oddly watchable, at least for certain audiences. If you’re a fan of bad movies, you’ll probably find some enjoyment in how ridiculous it all is. It’s also the perfect flick for teenagers looking for an excuse to make out in the back row of the theater while pretending to watch the screen.

In short, Tarot is a trainwreck of a horror film, but if you enjoy watching a disaster unfold, you might just find yourself entertained—for all the wrong reasons.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:0-star
Cheesy effects:2-star
Horrendous acting:4-star
Laugh-out-loud-ability:1-star
Ridiculous stunts:0-star
Gratuitous nudity:0-star
Memorable one-liners:0-star
Nonsensical Plot:4-star

Riffability:4-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 3-star
Bad Movie Quality:5-star

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Conquest

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The Lucio Fulci movie that more people should be talking about may just be so weird its good?

"Conquest" is one of those bizarre gems that defies logic, reason, and possibly all known laws of filmmaking. From the opening frame, you're catapulted into a world where absolutely nothing makes sense—and that's the beauty of it. The plot (if you can call it that) revolves around two warriors, Mace and Ilias, who embark on a quest to stop an evil, topless sorceress who wears a metal mask and is clearly compensating for something. Why? Who knows! The movie doesn't bother to explain, and honestly, it doesn't matter.

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Robowar

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Stick around or don't move, but Reb Brown is gonna give you the laughs.

"Robowar" (1988) is a cinematic masterpiece of unintentional hilarity. This unapologetic rip-off of "Predator" is an absolute must-watch for fans of 'so bad it's good' cinema. From the moment Reb Brown graces the screen with his over-the-top action antics and unintentionally comedic acting, you'll be hooked. Brown's performance is a perfect blend of earnestness and absurdity, making every scene he's in a joy to watch.

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Twisters

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Just because it doesn't have a story or characters or any basis in reality doesn't mean its bad, right?

"Twisters" (2024) is a whirlwind of nostalgic fun that takes you back to the golden era of 90's blockbusters. While it may lack a compelling story, character depth, and a meaningful journey, it's a film that embraces its cheesy charm with gusto. From the first gust of wind to the last dramatic tornado scene, "Twisters" is an exhilarating ride that doesn't take itself too seriously.

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Junior

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"High Concept" apparently means "really stupid and poorly thought out".

Junior (1994) is a film that desperately tries to blend comedy, science fiction, and social commentary but ends up being a tedious and unenjoyable mess. Despite the star power of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito, and Emma Thompson, this movie falls flat in nearly every aspect, leaving the audience bored and disappointed.

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State Park

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For an 80's boobie movie, this sure does feel wholesome somehow.

"State Park," the 1988 comedy that has quietly garnered a dedicated cult following over the years, stands out as a delightful anomaly in the landscape of 80s teen comedies. This movie, often described as a summer version of the era's quintessential skiing flicks, turns all the expected tropes on their head with a refreshing blend of humor and heart.

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R.O.T.O.R.

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So this entire movie is just being recounted during a police interrogation? Face it, R.O.T.O.R. is one of the best bad movies there is.

"R.O.T.O.R." is a cinematic gem that defies all conventional standards of quality to deliver an experience so bad it's absolutely good. This 1980s sci-fi action flick is a masterclass in unintentional comedy and bewildering plot choices, making it a must-watch for fans of hilariously awful movies.

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A Family Affair

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I'm sorry, I already forgot everything about this movie. And so will you.

"A Family Affair" (2024) is a film that struggles to rise above mediocrity in almost every aspect. From its trite and mundane script to its overall tone and feel, which screams Hallmark Original, this movie is a disappointment on multiple levels.

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Alley Cat

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Don't go running in the park at night! It's not smart!

If you ever find yourself yearning for a film that epitomizes the phrase "so bad it's good," look no further than the 1984 classic Alley Cat. This cinematic gem stars Karin Mani as Billie, a karate black belt street justice fighter whose commitment to poor decision-making is nothing short of legendary.

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Stuff Stephanie in the Incinerator

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Did Stephanie ever have to worry about the incinerator?

"Stuff Stephanie in the Incinerator" is a delightful surprise that defies all expectations. As someone who was anticipating the typical over-the-top antics synonymous with Troma releases, I was completely taken aback by the film's unique charm. This movie is not just another exploitative romp; it's a cleverly written, weirdly funny, and remarkably well-directed gem that stands out in the world of low-budget cinema.

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Madame Web

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Look into your future and see if you're gonna be in any other movies. Looks bleak! 

"Madame Web" is a masterclass in how not to make a superhero movie or really any movie for that matter. From start to finish, it's a torturous slog through wooden acting, a plot riddled with more holes than Swiss cheese, and an antagonist so one-dimensional and implausibly powered that it feels like the writers stopped caring halfway through.

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Atlas

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Thrill as J-Lo complains in a chair in front of green screen for 45 minutes. That butt, tho....

"Atlas," starring Jennifer Lopez, aims to be a thrilling sci-fi adventure but ultimately lands in the realm of forgettable mediocrity. The plot, which revolves around a dystopian future and a battle for humanity's survival, is riddled with flaws and holes that make suspension of disbelief a constant struggle. The storyline feels hastily stitched together, with plot twists that are more confusing than surprising.

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Robot Jox

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Less people get sat on by robots in war, I guess.

So Robot Jox is a conglomeration of many other staples in 1989. You've got a post-apocalyptic setting thanks to the Cold War. You've got a sports related global event ala Rollerball, Deathrace 2000, Running Man, et. al. And you've got robots fighting ala Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots. Ok, maybe the last one was a stretch but you get the picture. Lastly, you've got a critical factor. George Lucas. 

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Highlander: The Final Dimension

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The Highlander theatrical cannon comes to a close...by making all the same mistakes as the first two movies and we can't thank them enough for it.

Highlander: Final Dimensions is a rollercoaster of absurdity that somehow manages to entertain despite its sheer ridiculousness. From the mind-boggling plot that's as convoluted as a tangled ball of yarn to the laughably bad acting that makes you wonder if the cast drew straws to see who would overact the most, this movie truly embraces its own brand of campiness.

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The Rage (1997)

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Are you enough of a tough guy verbally to handle how much of a tough guy everyone is in this movie when even the ladies are tough guys? No chance.

"The Rage" is a rollercoaster of a movie, and not necessarily in a good way. Strap in for some truly crazy stunts that will have you gripping the edge of your seat... or maybe just scratching your head in confusion.

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Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-0-Rama

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Hot coeds go to a bowling alley and unlock a poop monster and find death and love in the process.

"Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama" is a delightful romp through the absurd and the outrageous, delivering a unique blend of horror, comedy, and pure camp that is sure to entertain audiences of all tastes. Released in 1987, this cult classic is a testament to the creativity and ingenuity of low-budget filmmaking.

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Rollerball

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Its bad. I mean, so, so, so very bad. Like "worst movie of all time discussion" bad.

"Rollerball" (2002) is a cinematic catastrophe of epic proportions. This abomination of a film is a perfect storm of incompetence, delivering an experience so profoundly dreadful that it defies all reason and logic. From its mind-numbingly idiotic plot to its nauseatingly abysmal editing, every aspect of this cinematic disaster screams of ineptitude.

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