Terry Hogan finds himself in need of rescue from VR torture by a group of precocious scamps who discover they love the smell of burning man flesh.
First things first, let's talk about Hulk Hogan's acting prowess. Or lack thereof. His line delivery is about as subtle as a sledgehammer to the face, and his attempts at emotional depth are about as convincing as a toupee made of spaghetti. But hey, we're not here for Oscar-worthy performances, right?
3 little hemorrhoids, who are trained to be silent assassins by their "Ninja Tournament" winning grandfather, go to Japan to recover/keep a dagger that is used to unlock a treasure vault/give the same dagger to the winner of the "Ninja Tournament" in time to get home for little league played by adult men and farts.
I can't express my contempt for 3 Ninjas Kick Back in words. I will instead commit Seppuku because I have made suck poor choices in my life that I have dishonored my family name by seeing it. Goodbye, cruel world.
Mac and Me is truly a turd. We didn't like it at all. Sorry about that.
The movie fails on so many levels especially for a children's movie. The complete lack of a relationship between the clone of ET's Elliot and MAC left us scratching our heads wondering why the characters try to do anything for MAC. All MAC and his family do to the protagonist family is fuck shit up. Twice the main child dies and twice he is saved by the "MACs" but he wouldn't remember either time as he was clearly dead, so one can't use that as an argument.
Show opener - Justin has lost his ability to do anything but play Fallout 4 and Jackie is left with no choice but to go on Sammy Jesse Raphael.
It's the final film in our 3 piece "Monster Buds" series and we close with a film we've been planning on since we started the podcast. It's the tale of a film executives trying to cash in on the buzz of ET (a film no one on Stinker Madness likes) so odds are pretty low that we'll enjoy this one.
When you absolutely must rescue your vague kingdom from a usurper with unknown motivations and restore your position as the supreme ruler of the lands, reach for a Galgameth statue and squirt some tears on it. Just make sure you don't ever go near an ocean. It's the Adventure or Legend or just Galgameth and he's one family friendly Kaijū!
Galgameth is one of those movies that has no target audience. It's too dumb and childish for adults but has too many adult themes for little kids. The protagonist is a pre-teen but there's too much cutesy stuff to fit that demographic. It's like there's a 2 week window when a boy is about 11 and isn't sure if they should be kissing girls or playing with action figures that this movie might work for.
It may be called Galgameth or it might be called The Adventures of Galgameth or it might be called The Legend of Galgameth; who's to say? Either way, it's the start of our "Monster Bud" 3 episode series. It involves a fantasy tale about a boy who gets a dragon who grows by eating metal. So we'll see how that works out.
Sorry about the awful audio quality. Our new mixer is total crap.
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