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Dolph disguises a buddy-cop movie as an terminator movie. Inside you'll learn that the most deadliest weapon in space are compact discs and all aliens have male-pattern-baldness.

Dark Angel AKA I Come in Peace is absolutely bananas. It's so full of action sequences, explosions, aliens chasing each other, one-liners, and a crazy plot where people's brains are drugs in space. It's riddled with buddy-cop cliches, the new partner that does this by the book, an ex-girlfriend that also works in the same circles, the chief that wants his badge, etc... all while giant alien guys are exploding everything in the city with mega-weapons. It's fantastic.

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Dolph grabs onto a couple of nukes and uses them to turn his shirt into a sleeveless job. It's The Rock all over again with better acting, better stunts and better action sequences - and it still stinks. 

We won't dig too much into the plot here because it's legit just The Rock within a missile silo. What we want to talk about is the incredible amount of stinker staples delivered. There's no sploding chopper but there's pretty much everything else. Dolph's 1-liners and overflowing from his cup and they are all A+ cheesy goodness. The amount of stunts and the level of production put into these stunts while wrapped around a really close example of the idiot plot is astounding. The production design is a blend of surprising and terrible. The script is bonkers bad. There's a little here for everyone.

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Sometimes a studio puts too much talent behind a terribly stupid movie. Sometimes there's some subtle social commentary that sneaks into the script and then has the competency behind the camera to accurately capture those topics. Then you have action guys who just like to blow everything up. Welcome to Men of War.

I absolutely adore this movie. It suffers from the Idiot Plot, yet has some level of emotion behind everything it tries to achieve. It's like a mashup of Forrest Gump/Platoon and Deadly Prey. Everything is shot well, the location is fantastic, the dialogue is sharp.... until Dolph gets to deliver some one-liners.

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Brought to you by Johnny Pneumatic. Keanu Reeves and Rosmand Pike gets trapped in an annoying steampunk world and gets his armed replaced with a drill (just go with it).

Its time for us to finally see what the Internet looks like from the inside with 1995's Johnny Mnemonic, starring Keanu Reeves and Dina Meyer, with fun appearances of Dolph Lundgren, Henry Rollins, Udo Kier and Ice-T doesn't screw it up!

Dolph and Jean Claude square off with the assistance of Roland Emmerich in the blockbuster film, Universal Soldier. The idea is that there is a military program that takes dead soldiers and reanimates them, while erasing their memories so that they can become undead badass guys. Are they zombies? Or just slightly retarded guys with guns?

The film is a very early Roland Emmerich work and really lays the foundation for his career. All of the staples that you see in a Roland Emmerich film are setup here. Plot details that just get glossed over (JCVD's accent for example), punchlines that involve people looking quizzically at each other after something ridiculous happens, action shots that seem crazy but you just really can't tell what's happening...Of course, JCVD also delivers some of the staples of his films as well including excessive shots of his butt and a lack of explaining his ethnicity. Dolph is just Dolph.

Brought to you by Universally Older - the one stop pharmaceutical line of products for the aging badass. JCVD approved!

This week Jackie pulls the metaphorical trigger on Roland Emmerich and Jean Claude Van Damme's first appearance on Stinker Madness. Plus Dolph Lundgren shows up for the fourth time in Universal Soldier. Can this be a good movie? Probably not....

Two tough action ninja cops find bromance while taking down the Yakusa with exploding beer, double reverse punch kicks, and the dullest samurai sword of all time. Dolph Lundgren, Brandon Lee, and Tia Carrere's stunt body team up for some out of control action in LA. This is one of the best bad action movies you've never seen.

This movie is so dumb and awesome its ridiculous. We highly recommend this one if you're an action fanatic.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:
Cheesy effects:
Horrendous acting:
Laugh-out-loud-ability:
Ridiculous stunts:
Gratuitous nudity:
Memorable one-liners:

Presented by The Expandables.

It's time for us to prepare for the Dolph Lundgren and Brandon Lee ass-kicking team-up that is Showdown in Little Tokyo. We talk about our England tour, Sam enlightens us on whats up with Jesse Stone and more movie trivia. Kung-fu feet!!!

75 old guys and a handful of "youths" blow some stuff up, make poopy-faces, and break through the 4th wall WAY too many times. We go to the theater and expend $3 for one of the biggest flops of 2014.

So it appears indeed that the team behind EX3 completely walked away from what made the series great. First, it's PG-13. Then instead of giving us old guys that we know and want to see, we are giving a team of young nobodies who's characters are about as kick-ass as warm lemonade. The stunts don't really get going until the last sequence and there's just too much damn CGI in it. Guys go back to what you built your career off - one-liners (that don't break through the 4th wall), crazy action sequences (that are shoot well with good stunts - not just shaking the camera around), and actual action stars (not Kelsey Grammar and Mel Gibson -even though they deliver the best performances in the movie). Still this movie is a total do...in the theater or on DVD when it comes out, NOT by illegally downloading it, you unholy pieces of Simon Cowell shit.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:
Cheesy effects:
Horrendous acting:
Laugh-out-loud-ability:
Ridiculous stunts:
Gratuitous nudity:
Memorable one-liners:

Good journey! Ever wanted He-Man to leave Eternia and show up in YOUR town. Well this week he does just that along with the rest of his goons and Skeletor..ish.

There's some really dumb bits about this film but they are so dumb that they makes it fun. The costumes are just as ridiculous as the special effects and the set designs. There is some pretty rad action sequences that are pretty laughable such as the Centurions who have some flying jet-skis that look pretty bad. However the laughs are few and far between as the movie mostly consists of some guys wandering around and groan-worthy moments of the Eternia people not understanding life on Earth.

Unfortunately, He-Man himself kinda blows. He's more of a gun-guy than a sword wielding power-man. Dolph Lundgren (He-Man) does his best with his very limited English speaking abilities so it's really not his fault. It just seems like no one involved had a concept of who He-Man was or had ever seen what he's all about. I understand that the budget was very minimal to work with but instead of just using the budget to get as close to He-Man as possible, they instead just change the character to fit with other action movies. It just doesn't work.

Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode

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Subscribe: iTunes | Android | RSS

Subscribe: iTunes | Android | RSS

Get ready for a new podcast about bad movies. This episode we gear up for Masters of the Universe with Dolph Lundgren as He-Man and Courtney Cox as...Courtney Cox. Good Journey!