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Primal Rage

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Sasquatch finds the love of his life and then her husband smashes his head with a rock. Shakespeare it is not.

So a couple get hit with rocks and get lost in the woods. What ensues is Squatch gets a crush on the lady and wants to have some alone time with her. Standing in his way is some rednecks, her husband and a local sheriff that's coming down from a bad peyote trip. And its way weirder than that. Its a tiny little indy-budget movie that is like the John Wick of DTV horror films as in someone that is GREAT at makeup directs and writes a movie. The makeup is great (like the stunts in JW) but the story is baffling (unlike JW) with the world of Bigfoot being very confusing and dubious. Throw in some Native American weapons and some bark armor and Bigfoot just gets weirder and weirder.

Apparently, what Squatches are, is the spirits of deceased Native American chiefs. So there is no lady Squatches, I guess. Much like the Catholic clergy (too soon?) that's a problem as our Squatch is a randy bastard who stalks our heroine for the sake of making some squatch/human baby hybrids. Oh, it gets weirder. A bog witch becomes involved and we're still not sure whose side she is on. 

Eventually, there's much murder of rednecks and buckets of gore with Squatch bouncing off trees like a ninja. Which is all fun. But there's too much not that surround this that makes it not awesome.

It's bizarre and dumb but it still may not be for everyone. If you like creature-features its a do. Everyone else might want to take a pass. 

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:2-star
Cheesy effects:2-star
Horrendous acting:3-star
Laugh-out-loud-ability:3-star
Ridiculous stunts:1-star
Gratuitous nudity:0-star
Memorable one-liners:0-star
Nonsensical Plot:4-star

Riffability:3-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 3-star
Bad Movie Quality:6-star

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Saturday, 13 April 2024

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