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Witchery

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It's Evil Dead part III (only in Italy) and has absolutely nothing to do with it. It also has nothing to do with Hoff being Hoff nor Linda Blair being Linda Blair. Nor does it have to do with a plot that makes any sense. Nor does it have to do with being enjoyable.

Witchery (or La Casa 4 in Italy - thus the sequel to Evil Dead) is the baffling tale of a fallen actress whom lives in an island hotel and becomes a witch at some point and then attempts to perform a ritual to either close the gates to Hell or summon Satan to provide the seed for the anti-Christ. It's really impossible to tell what the hell (or not hell) is going on here. You've then got Hoff and Blair running around in the hotel trying to piece together what's going on while avoiding death and trying to escape.

That's all fine. The problem with the film is how it is presented. You've got what reads like a stinker masterpiece on paper but sadly everything takes way to long. The pacing is like betting on a racehorse that is a sure bet and then the gates open and it just walks along the racetrack. You're screaming at the movie, "Get out there and run, you nag!" The pacing isn't even because the film is trying to build suspense and psychological horror. It's really like "hey we paid for this set and makeup - lets milk the hell out of it".

So you've got poor pacing and a plot that you can't figure out all to the backdrop of mumble acting while setting it to trapped on an island boring business. Sadly, Witchery is milk toast. You can skip it.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:2-star
Cheesy effects:3-star
Horrendous acting:4-star
Laugh-out-loud-ability:3-star
Ridiculous stunts:2-star
Gratuitous nudity:2-star
Memorable one-liners:2-star
Nonsensical Plot:5-star

Riffability:4-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 3-star
Bad Movie Quality:5-star

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Tuesday, 01 December 2020

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