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It's week 2 of our 3 episode Halloween trio of horribleness. This week Aaliyah stars in a sexy vampire movie called Queen of the Damned from 2002. While it avoided the Razzies completely this film was still quite pandered by critics but in the years since has gained a pretty heavy cult following. Is it because its filled with annoying glitter vampires or is there some merits to the shenanigans?

Streaming Do's and Don'ts

• Private School - HBO Now
• Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror - Youtube
• Dark Was the Night - Netflix
• Motel Hell - Amazon & EPIX

Good Neighbor, Bad Neighbor

• Casper, the Friendly Ghost - Casper
• Slimer - Ghostbusters
• The Wolfman - The Wolfman

About Queen of the Damned - Movie Information

Sam's Boring Bullshit

The film is a loose adaptation of the second and third books of Anne Rice’s The Vampire Chronicles, taking its name from the third novel. Anne Rice is known as a writer of high class, a chief example would be her novel; The Taking of Sleeping Beauty, where sleeping beauty is woken not by a kiss but by a dude humping her comatose body. Which, to get sidetracked, if you haven’t seen Almodivar’s Talk to Her, you should check that out. In 2005, she started a new series entitled: Christ the Lord, it chronicles the early life of Jesus. I just can’t imagine. There is a chance that it is just a gussied up fill in the blanks, there is a larger chance that Jesus walks into the desert and finds so many other young men. She might just turn the desert into a metaphor for an activity that is hot and dry…

Tom Atkins stars as a mustache-ride-given hacker doctor detective with the help of a young woman who may or may not be an android to take down a Irish/Californian novelty gift manufacturer who wants to use the powers of Stonehenge to transform millions of children into bugs and snakes. Don't come for Michael Meyers, stay for the endless sea of questions.

The movie is completely silly. The plot of ridiculous and with each moment the viewer is just presented more and more questions. It's like the entire run of Lost or the heads of the Hydra. When you answer one question, five more questions sprout up. Each character's motivations are pretty confusing not to mention who the hell they are. Why is Tom Atkins the detective? Why is he alcoholic? Is the girl a robot the entire time? If so, why does she lead Tom Atkins directly to the Silver Shamrock Corp? Does Silver Shamrock murder children or do they just become bugs and snakes? If its murder, then is it murder by teleporting bugs and snakes into their brains? Just writing these questions make me think of more. We could spend 900 pages in just questions.

Brought to you by Silver Shamrock, inventors of such gags as Sticky Toilet Paper and Super Tiny Undies. Get the gags going this Halloween with Silver Shamrock.

It's that time again, kids. Time to enjoy the sweet smells of fall, the colors of the leaves as they fall to the ground, Mom's pumpkin pie and being transformed into bugs and snakes through the powers of Stonehenge. Halloween III: Season of the Witch (yes the one that doesn't have Michael Myers) stops in on Stinker Madness to kick off our three episode series on our favorite spooky films. Be sure to wear your masks!

LL stars in her Razzie winning opus/masterpiece of terrible cinema, twice! It's the story of a mixed up teen and her mixed up teen doppelganger who suffer from "non-religious stigmata" and death by not finishing piano training. It may be the least frightening horror movie ever made!

Lindsey Lohan wows us in the film. She may not have been aware she was in movie for about half of the film. She appears to be either on ludes or vodka quite frequently. You can see her tune out of being there when not giving lines and sorta just stares at the wall. Her "stripping" is awful in that she doesn't actually strip. Oh she dances then? No she doesn't do that either. She just sorta makes a poopy face and slithers around the pole. Wow. I've never stripper danced before but I'm pretty sure I could have done a better job.

Brought to you by Crumb's Country Delights - Try the Finger Ladies for only $1.00.

It's Halloweeny time and for that we bring in a special guest horror movie expert, Jackie's mom Janet. We discuss the upcoming movie which is Peter Jackson's masterpiece, Bad Taste. We also talk about our three SCARIEST movies of all time. Plus where the hell did Sam go? Did a spooky ghost get him?!?! Did he get turned into intergalactic fast food and is now on the menu of Crumb's Country Delights?!?!

Spoilers
(Sam's probably just trapped on the toilet or something)

Rachel and three of the worst painters known to man get terrorized by a little green guy with bad hygiene. He just wants his gold, but no one thinks to just spend the gold OR kick him across the county.

Also Warwick Davis rides a skateboard, drives a Power Wheel, pogos, teleports, does a Shaggy and Scooby-Doo impression, gets shot a bunch, has super strength, hates cereal, loves shoes, Daffy Ducks a fence, and has Wolverines powers.

Presented by History's Hidden Monsters. Now with even more conspiracy theories and rednecks!

This is Halloween and we get super jacked for it as Jackie picks a movie about a tiny adversary (paging Joe Dante). He's green and smells like a homeless man, but he's lives in our hearts...and wants to kill us.

Plus! Stinker Thinkers and SpooktoberFest Netflix Recommendations! OooooOOOOooo Rattle those Chains! And fear overusage of exclamation points!!!!

A group of teenage Jawas thaw out a frozen Jason, only to realize that the its time to die. Not even a karate version of C-3PO can stop Jason from enacting his vengeance on humpers. Plus, is that Candyman? And why are space stations so explodable?

So some how in 2008 Jason is captured and stuck in a cryogenic research facility (that just happens to be at Camp Crystal Lake). Some Army dudes want to study his regenerative powers but instead he hacks them all up. One of the facility staff them shoots Jason into one of the cryo chambers and he gets frozen up nice until 2455. At that point, a group of students/doctors/research/scavengers (unclear who these people are but they basically are Jawas) find Jason and put him on their space ship so they can sell him. He thaws out and hilarity ensues.

Presented by The Days of our Short Lives, with Jason Vorhees as Jason.

Spooktober fest kicks off this week as we get ready to view Jason in Space or Cyborg Jason or Guy with Machette in the Future. Call it what you want to call it but this one looks like a great time. Plus Justin and Jackie go ONLY horror movies in their Streaming Movie Reviews plus SPPPOOOOOKY movie trivia. It'll be a ghoulishly good time (ugh....bad puns).