We dig into David A. Prior's bouncy lady bits slasher film from 1987, starring Marcia Karr, Fritz Matthews, and superior badass Ted Prior (who all were in the epic Deadly Prey). It's the tale of murder at the aerobics gym that also has a weight room for the tough guys. It's cheesy, with incredible 80's music, Ted and Fritz punching each other just cause, and so much bouncing and splits.
Some of you may know this film as it's other title of Aerobicide but it's labeled as Killer Workout in IMDB so that's what we are going with here. Hope Amazon knows what the hell they are doing. Either way both titles are great.
Presented by Dr. Lecter's Killer Workout. Sorry Tina Turner and Chuck Norris, but Dr. Lecter needs your body more than you do.
We are back! After a three week hiatus, we've returned in full force with this weeks fine episode. We prepare for our second David A. Prior film entitled Killer Workout aka Aerobicide from 1987. We pay tribute to the late Mr. Prior who will be sorely missed. Make sure to pre-order your blu-rays of Killer Workout, Deadly Prey AND Deadliest Prey which release on Oct. 13, 2015 (Buy Here).
When you take 70-bajillion characters with vague powers and zero characterization, toss in a very poorly cast James Remar who manages to act worse than Christopher Lambert, sprinkle with crappy, boring fight scenes with a side of the worst special effects ever, and then finish off with completely removing any bit of "Mortal Kombating" while still calling it Mortal Kombat, you've built a movie worthy of being called one of the worst movies of all time. Mortal Kombat: Annihiliation deserves to be in the IMDB Bottom 100, should have swept the Razzie awards and deserves to be mentioned alongside Birdemic and Manos: The Hands of Fate. It is a truly awful and painful film to view.
The story of the film truly isn't worth mentioning, mostly because it doesn't exist. The plot entails Shao Kahn (Bryan Thomspon) causing a "convergence" of all the realms so that he can't have power. We can't figure out what that power is or why smashing realms together causes that. So Raiden (James Remar) and team must stop Kahn and his cronies by using Katana as a key, Liu Kang defeating Kahn in a fight and Raiden becoming mortal. That's it. That's the entire plot. No other details are revealed.
We open the episode with Sportcenter's coverage of the Mortal Kombat association vs. the Mortal Kombat Players Association legal battle over injuries in the sport.
We get ready to experience the "watchable crap" called Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, the sequel to the massively successful Mortal Kombat (1995). Is there a chance that it could possibly be not a giant turd and as much fun as the first one? Odds are not good with it's 11 Metacritic score.
Ed is the masterfully crafted story of a farmer turned worlds best pitcher ever with the help of a hilarious baseball-playing chimpanzee all while discovering the magic of baseball and the magic of children. Or it could be a film about the demonstration making a movie without knowing how baseball and/or animals work with the magic of baseball and the magic of children. You decide!
Ed stinks. We know that it is a children's movie. Fine. As far as children movies go, this one is insulting to children. For children to like this film, they must be stupid. That's the message that this film delivers, "It's ok that we don't think very hard about this one; children are stupid and will like anything." Except children aren't stupid. They know things about the world including how baseball works or how observable physics work. It's insulting. It's also fairly racist.
Brought to you by TRASH. The new channel featuring animals playing sports. Order TRASH today!
Matt LeBlanc graces our TV in the 1996 mega-stinker Ed. Its about a movie of a man in a monkey suit playing baseball! Plus there's a chimpanzee who plays baseball! (Our apologies to Matt LeBlanc, that joke is just way to easy to make)
Donald G. Jackson, Roddy Piper, Sandahl Bergman, and Steve Wang all completely nail it in Hell Comes to Frogtown. It can be argued that there is no funner "bad movie" ever made, especially when how much little money was spent. Sam Hell enters Frogtown to gets some fertile women rescued and then make sweet sweet love to them. This movie rocks.
We'll start with our dearly departed Roddy. There's no one out there that could have done a better job with the role of Sam Hell. Period. Roddy nails the role. He's snide, sarcastic, witty, action-packed, intense, funny, and charming. Sam Hell can rival just about anyone out there as for likable characters. Sam Hell is just as lovable as Ash (Evil Dead) or Danton (Deadly Prey). The guy is bad ass and too much fun.
This episode we pay tribute to one hell of a human being, one of the best entertainers in history and possibly the sole reason that Vince McMahon has a successful business; one Roddy Rowdy Piper. In 1988, shortly after the success of They Live, Roddy starred in a little film called Hell Comes to Frogtown. It's the story of a man in charge of boning lots of ladies while kicking ass along the way. Well that sounds pretty rad....and it is.
On a personal note, Hot Rod was a real big deal to me. I grew up watching and rooting for Rowdy and Macho Man more than any other wrestlers. I remember being astounded about how energetic Roddy was and how everyone else seemed so rehearsed but he was just off the cuff with anything he said. You could see whoever was on camera with Roddy being completely unprepared with dealing with Roddy. I loved it. Roddy, you'll be missed. Say hi to Randy Savage for me.
LL stars in her Razzie winning opus/masterpiece of terrible cinema, twice! It's the story of a mixed up teen and her mixed up teen doppelganger who suffer from "non-religious stigmata" and death by not finishing piano training. It may be the least frightening horror movie ever made!
Lindsey Lohan wows us in the film. She may not have been aware she was in movie for about half of the film. She appears to be either on ludes or vodka quite frequently. You can see her tune out of being there when not giving lines and sorta just stares at the wall. Her "stripping" is awful in that she doesn't actually strip. Oh she dances then? No she doesn't do that either. She just sorta makes a poopy face and slithers around the pole. Wow. I've never stripper danced before but I'm pretty sure I could have done a better job.
Presented by "I Know Who My Agent Is" the horror film that only scares Hollywood. An agent sets out to kill Lindsey Lohan, Paul Giamatti and Will Smith's careers. The horror!
Jackie brings in another multi-Razzie winner, with 8 wins, including Worst Actress and Worst Picture. It's the Lohan, starring in her first role as a crack whore but refuses to take her top off. Can it possibly be worse than Wicker Man?
It's the second film from Stinker Madness stalwart, Andy Sidaris. No, it's not that one with Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman. It's the story of seven agency operatives taking down seven criminal overlords on lovely Hawaii for the price of seven million dollars. It's got all the classic staples from Andy and we love it! At least the first hour and 23 minutes, because we haven't seen the end of this film.
WHAT?!?! You're going to do a review of a movie you haven't seen all of? Nope we aren't. Sorry to disappoint guys. There's not going to be a review in this one. However, it's quite important to still discuss this film and how we watched it. We were forced to watch this film on YouTube. Because it's not available by any other means. That's right you can't get your hands on this film. It's not for sale. Now here's the real rub. The YouTube copy cuts out at 83 minutes with an ad for a Japanese porno site. Nice. The real fun thing is that this movie keeps getting removed for copyright infringement by the copyright owner. They have that right. But if you're going to do that then make it available to buy, please. Idiots. (It should be noted that friend of the show, Arlene Sidaris does NOT own the rights to this film. We believe that Hugh Hefner does.)
Before Malibu Express, Andy Sidaris directed a film called Seven. It's quite hard to find and rarely seen and has been on our list for ages. It stars William Smith and is about seven operators taking on seven villains in Hawaii. Buckle up for the ride!
This episode we have no streaming do's and don'ts but we instead discuss the Top Ten Stinker Staples. Be sure to read the whole list.
Near Dark is highly praised for being the best vampire movie ever made. However that's like saying that the Pinto is the best car that explodes on impact ever made. Its the tale of a farm boy who falls in love with a wandering stranger that's not like any of the other girls. He then goes on a wild ride with a gang of nomads in a van until sunlight wins the day again.
Well....we don't like this movie. We found it to be a colossal disappointment with some really misses. In that, the primary problem with this film is that Bill Paxton is incredible. You heard it. Bill Paxton does a fantastic acting job. He nails it. He's infectious. He's memorizing. "Why is that a problem?" you might ask. Because there's far too little of him on screen. His role is super limited and angered us. Hey Bigelow, we want more Paxton!
Brought to you by World War V. It's every single badass vampire killer vs every stupid vampire from the last 10 years. Blade leads Buffy, James Crow and the Frog Brothers against the Twilight buttholes, John Depp's Barnabas, Selene from Underworld, and Luke Evan's Vlad.
It's time we take a look at one of the highest praised vampire movies of all time. It's Near Dark starring Bill Paxton, Adrian Pasdar and Lance Henriksen. Is Near Dark really that awesome or is it just one of the first films that stray from Bram Stoker's Dracula and Nosferatu? Justin is rolling the dice with this pick as it is so highly praised. Could this be the second "good" film reviewed by this "bad" movie podcast?
Dalton gets brought into make a bar even less fun, get paid way too much, prevent alcohol from being served and then rip everyone's throats out. It's the bad movie classic Road House, 5 time Razzie nominee starring Patrick Swayze and Sam Elliot.
This is one of the most viewed and loved bad movies of all time and there's a reason it's so popular. It's ridiculous. It's one hell of a good time. The action is over the top, the dialogue is hilarious, the acting is a atrocious and the plot of completely stupid. It's fantastic. There's so many problems with the story but I'll try to name just a couple:
Presented by The Antiques Road House. Dalton stops by to help analyze some precious valuables.
This episode we get a preview of the 1988 classic stinker, Road House, starring Patrick Swayze, Sam Elliot and Ben Gazarra. It's a whole hodown at the Double Deuce bar. How many bottles will we smash over each other's heads?
It's a cyberpunk trip through the Internet with Keanu Reeves as he portrays Johnny Mnemonic, a hard-drive installed brain courier guy who has to deliver the cure for Chronic Internetitis Addiction to a group of resistance fighters trying to free our minds from evil corporate influence.....or something?
Wow, 1995 really had no clue how the Internet worked. Yes, this is one of those "lets go into the Internet....with our minds" movies. They didn't get it right. I, however, don't want to spend too much time on how wrong they got with the Internet. I will say that it is the worst onscreen representation of the Internet in film.
Brought to you by Johnny Pneumatic. Keanu Reeves and Rosmand Pike gets trapped in an annoying steampunk world and gets his armed replaced with a drill (just go with it).
Its time for us to finally see what the Internet looks like from the inside with 1995's Johnny Mnemonic, starring Keanu Reeves and Dina Meyer, with fun appearances of Dolph Lundgren, Henry Rollins, Udo Kier and Ice-T doesn't screw it up!
Its the story of a virgin teaming up with a very loose woman on the hunt of an ugly car. It stars Mark Hamill and Annie Potts and its called Corvette Summer. Its possibly the greatest love story told in a bad movie and is one step away from actually being a good movie. But an ugly car, poor production values, and plot holes keep it from getting there.
So Mark Hamill plays a recent high school grad, named Kenny who is a mechanical wizard, but a socially awkward virgin. Kenny has rebuilt a Corvette Stingray as part of his high school shop class. The car gets stolen on its first day out and Kenny is heart-broken. He gets a tip that the car is in Vegas so Kenny goes in search of it. Along the way, he meets a "hooker in training" named Vanessa (Annie Potts) who helps him out by letting him live in her van and search for the car.
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