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A French director, named Just Jaeckin, gives us a serious boobie movie with Tawny Kitaen, Brent Huff, and Zabou in which they find the land of the Yik Yak, an underground future society of topless women. Its got our record for the highest boob count to date!

Well imagine a movie where there's about 100 different topless women. So I know you can just stop and be happy with that. But there's so much more to this film than a cavalcade of hot cans. 

Brent Huff plays a rogue named Willard (more of the name of a local weatherman, than a movie hero), who is a supreme butthole. This guy is pretty hard to like as a person. If you've listened to the episodes of the show for Tom Boy or Teen Witch, you'll understand the level of douche the 80's pervade. Willard takes the cake. What a complete and total horrible human that we are later told by the film that he's just got a rough surface. Oof.

Then there's Tawny. She is gloriously awful in this movie. She can't act her way out of a paper bag. And her character is also your typical 80's lady archetype were said douche, Willard, does awful things to her and she thinks he's dreamy. Yet then there's her action and her topless scenes. Wait what? Tawny Kitaen is topless in this? Oh yeah and it's worth the 30 year wait I had to endure to have a good look and that lady on top of that car in "Here I Go Again".

Zabou and the surrounding cast are all fantastic with endless silly scenes. Then surround them with one of the most outlandish settings, WTF plot, banana dialogue, and horrendously hokey action sequences (see Human Chariot Races). We loved it and you will too!

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:3-star
Cheesy effects:2-star
Horrendous acting:4-star
Ridiculous stunts:3-star
Gratuitous nudity:5-star
Memorable one-liners:2-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 4-star
Bad Movie Quality:8-star

Casual Do's and Don'ts

About Gwendoline (1984) - Movie Information

Sam's Boring Bullshit

Gwendoline or, The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak, the U.S. title, is the final film made by famed director Just Jaeckin – pronounce that name as you will. When I say famed, his films, until recently may have been more infamous rather than famous.  His debut film Emmanuelle is the gold standard for softcore, or erotic filmmaking. He would follow with such films as History d’O, Madame Claude, Girls and Lady Chatterley’s Lover. Though his films were incredibly influential, most of them were banned in multiple territories until around the year 2000. So instead of flying cars and space colonies we just got our boobie movies from the 70s back, thanks Y2k predictions of my childhood, you’ve ruined my life. Though the most staunch moral critics will still dismiss his work as pornography, by comparison to actual pornography it is extremely artistic and difficult to employ when going for a big time fap. When speaking of the long term impact of his work, Emmanuelle has more sequels and copies than Django and he seems to have even influence some of the most praised artists. Alan Moore’s Lost Girls would appear to be a variation of Jaeckin’s Girls with child characters of literary significance, such as Wendy Darling, Dorothy Gale and Lewis Carroll’s Alice recounting their period of sexual discovery. For the record, I have not read Lost Girls, in case the authorities are reading this. Jaeckin is one of the torch bearers of the fantastic, whimsical and outlandish, if not fully absurd style which would culminate in the Charles Avedon Calvin Klein magazine ads. You could take still’s from Gwendoline’s second half and sell perfume with them in the 80s, someone may have.

The connection in our Wheel of Fortune “before and after” three film run Gwendoline is finishing, would be the lead hunk muffing Brent Huff. If you thought he was an insufferable douche in 9 Deaths of the Ninja, just wait until you get a load of Willard the hero.

The film co-stars French film phenomenon Zabou in the middle of her life long career.

The reason we all showed up, or were supposed to in 1984, however, was actress Tawny Kitaen. Though possibly known as much through the tabloids as being married to David Coverdale and appearing in Whitesnake’s music videos, she also is mostly forgotten as the bride to be in the classic Tom Hanks film Bachelor Party. I think a lot of people remember the name and wonder why she was a thing. If you have seen this movie, you’ll know why she was a thing.

9 Deaths of the Ninja

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Comments 1

Guest - Eric on Friday, 14 July 2017 18:07

As for the "world building" of this movie, it's based on a series of French comic strips called Sweet Gwendoline -

As for the "world building" of this movie, it's based on a series of French comic strips called Sweet Gwendoline -
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Monday, 04 December 2023

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