Presented by Seaman's Spermicidal Jelly, the number one brand in sea-ferrer/manitee contraception.
Jackie rolls the dice on whether a bunch of a list talent with a fantasy plot idea has the chance to make a bad movie in the Tom Hanks/Darryl Hannah/John Candy/Eugene Levy/Ron Howard classic "Splash". Plus more movie trivia and the usual nonsense.
Justin tells us what the three worst human/animal relationship films:
Two tough action ninja cops find bromance while taking down the Yakusa with exploding beer, double reverse punch kicks, and the dullest samurai sword of all time. Dolph Lundgren, Brandon Lee, and Tia Carrere's stunt body team up for some out of control action in LA. This is one of the best bad action movies you've never seen.
This movie is so dumb and awesome its ridiculous. We highly recommend this one if you're an action fanatic.
Over the top action:
Cheesy effects:
Horrendous acting:
Laugh-out-loud-ability:
Ridiculous stunts:
Gratuitous nudity:
Memorable one-liners:
Presented by The Expandables.
It's time for us to prepare for the Dolph Lundgren and Brandon Lee ass-kicking team-up that is Showdown in Little Tokyo. We talk about our England tour, Sam enlightens us on whats up with Jesse Stone and more movie trivia. Kung-fu feet!!!
75 old guys and a handful of "youths" blow some stuff up, make poopy-faces, and break through the 4th wall WAY too many times. We go to the theater and expend $3 for one of the biggest flops of 2014.
So it appears indeed that the team behind EX3 completely walked away from what made the series great. First, it's PG-13. Then instead of giving us old guys that we know and want to see, we are giving a team of young nobodies who's characters are about as kick-ass as warm lemonade. The stunts don't really get going until the last sequence and there's just too much damn CGI in it. Guys go back to what you built your career off - one-liners (that don't break through the 4th wall), crazy action sequences (that are shoot well with good stunts - not just shaking the camera around), and actual action stars (not Kelsey Grammar and Mel Gibson -even though they deliver the best performances in the movie). Still this movie is a total do...in the theater or on DVD when it comes out, NOT by illegally downloading it, you unholy pieces of Simon Cowell shit.
Over the top action:
Cheesy effects:
Horrendous acting:
Laugh-out-loud-ability:
Ridiculous stunts:
Gratuitous nudity:
Memorable one-liners:
Relive the late 90's with this guilty pleasure film. The 5 Spicy Ones take their magical Tardis bus on a tour of nowhere, where men with ass pants, molesting aliens, and some unnamed Asian pregnant lady all stand in their way to endless singing.
Posh, Ginger, Sporty, Baby and Scary Spices give us a full look inside their lives as Spice Girls. Alan Cummings is tasked with making an in-depth look at what it means to be a Spice Girl and how they live and go crazy with Girl Power while their manager must attempt to keep them wrangled. Meatloaf is their bus driver (and official toilet clogger), George Wendt and Mark McKinnie are two Hollywood film makers who want to make a blockbuster movie about them and Roger Moore is the brains behind the whole operation.
Its good fun here and there but suffers greatly from the inane gibberish that spews forth from each Spice (except Baby who has a very clean accent, strangely since all she should say is "goo goo gah gah" right?) and far too much singing and "humanizing" the Spice Girls. We say bleh on this one.
Presented to you by "Bob's Your Uncle 2: Tikity BOOM!" - The latest cop thriller from Stinker Studios.
In honor of our tour through the UK, Jackie has made us bring back the fabulous 5 girls from England in the musical(?), cult favorite(?), Spice World.
My first thought is, why are they so spicey? Is England known for its spices? And only one of them has a name like a spice; Ginger Spice. The rest are just variations of their individual attitude/theme. Now J-Lo...she's spicy. Aye Ca-rumba!
It's time to step onto the Malibu Express (hope you can get past security) and get into the shower (it's ok to stare at the camera) as Andy Sidaris gives us the epic booby movie that is Malibu Express.
This one's got it all: Guns, girls, glitz, boobs, racing, helicopters, grenades, ad-libbed lines, fast cars, faster women, yacht clubs, international espionage, more boobs, and soooo much more boobs.
We also want to thank Arlene Sidaris for all her help and support on making this episode possible. Arlene is why we all still have access to the Andy Sidaris library and so we wish her love and thanks for keeping these movies alive. Also please watch the film this week in full from Mill Creek Productions:
Brought to you by "Put Boobs Anywhere", the new wonder product that will cure all your booblessness problems.
This episode we prepare for what we feel may be the greatest b-movie ever made. It's a masterpiece of huge boobs, silly jokes, excessive nudity, bad gun play, random car race challenges, insane henchmen, more huge boobs, Playboy playmates and more one-liners than an 80's Arnold movie.
We also deliver more Netflix reviews on what to watch and don't watch, plus bad movie trivia and plenty of the usual silly business that we are known for. Tally-ho!
Jan Michael Vincent and George Peppard go for a long ride across the American wasteland in a mega-truck. Along the way they find hill-billies, clever kids, mutated bugs and giant man-eating scorpions. Sounds exciting right? It's not.
The film itself is pretty much just riding around in the mega-truck for long periods of time. The action is few and far between and when it happens it truly looks terrible. The sky on fire is one of the worst effects ever "captured" on film and is where most of the money went. It's truly a shame as if they'd just spent the budget and time elsewhere this may have been a good time. Instead, the movie consists of:
We wish that we could give this a stamp of approval but unfortunately it's a waste of time.
Brought to you by Nuke Juice, the only energy drink for a nuclear wasteland traveler.
We pack up and ride in our Landmaster as we prepare for a post-apocalyptic world in Damnation Alley. Sam shares his usual keen info on the movie, Jackie throws some more bad movie trivia your way and we all review our Netflix and Amazon streaming movies for the week.
We first announce our 12 Days of Bad Christmas Movies Podcrawl/VideoCrawl. Imagine 4 shows, 3 movies each during each week leading up to Christmas. Let us know if you'd like to be involved by emailing This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. OR follow on Twitter by following @StinkerMadness or #12daysofbadxmasmovies.
Is this the hardest to watch film of all time? The answer is yes. This movie sucks, isn't about anything, and it's 2 and a half hours of the worst person to ever live. We cut this things to ribbons and you'll like what we have to say.
Essentially, the entire movie is about Barbara Streisand's ego. From the very first time you see her, she is hamming it up the entire time and placating to the camera. She's like a teenage girl with a webcam and a hair brush pretending to be a microphone. Its horrendously hard to watch.
Kris Kristopherson portrays the worst "rock star" in music history. He can't complete a song on stage without walking off, pissing off the audience or really even having more than one song. No one would go to this guy's concert, no matter how awesome his songs might be in theory. He can't complete a song.
Presented by The Galloping Uglies - need to be a 70's rock star, then you need to be ugly as Barbara Streisand and Kris Kristopherson.
We prepare for what can only be described as the worst experience ever when we view A Star is Born with Kris Kristopherson and Barbara Streisand. Jackie has decided to punish us for all the mean things we do to her by making us view this "classic". Ugh...
Bad movie authority Roman finally joins us in the studio as we view and yammer about the Ausploitation awesomeness that is The Man From Hong Kong. Are there any stuntmen or actors alive in Australia after this seriously dangerous movie?!?!
This movie features some of the craziest stunts we've ever seen and it's a wonder anyone made it out of it. There is a car chase scene that is completely epic, hang glider accidents, Spider-Man building climbing, ninja fights, burning men and so much more. Plus, Jigsaw rocks!
Seriously worth watching since it's free on YouTube!
Presented by Fifty Shades of Brown, the story of two lovers tied together by raunchy flatulents.
We gear up for an ass-kicker of a movie in The Man From Hong Kong or Dragon Flies. We also review more Netflix and Amazon Instant Movies, more ongoing movie trivia and perhaps the best opening commercial we've ever done - Fifty Shades of Brown trailer.
Welcome to the future and let's face it, we don't watch movies on DVD, Blu-Ray, on TV or even in the theater that much anymore. Because we live in the future we have access to an unprecedented amount of films that we have seen, are familiar with and, for the most part, never heard of. A lot of us are left with choosing movies online solely based off the cover art. We call this "rolling the dice". Well we've done our best to take the guess work out of it for you and present each week in our 0.5 (prelude) episodes of our Stinker Madness podcast the films we've watched on Netflix, Amazon Prime, Crackle, and YouTube during the week. If we like it we give it a Do, if not we give it a Don't. If we are indifferent - then you're on your own.
| Movie Name | Summary | IMDB | Netflix | Amazon | Justin | Jackie | Sam | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
The Devil's 8 | A federal agent rounds up eight convicts to help fight a vicious moonshine gang. Heavily recommended to us by a good source, but a disappointment to us. Boring, confusing, and weird as hell. But the theme song at the end that explains the plot is pretty awesome. A perfect RiffTrax option. | IMDB Page | Watch Now | Devil's Eight | No | No | No | 0/3 |
Invasion of the Bee Girls | A powerful cosmic force is turning Earth women into queen bees who kill men by wearing them out sexually. Totally weird and a complete cut & paste of 70's b-movies. William Smith is awesome. There's tons of boobs. And it's REALLY silly. And yes they are made of bees. |
We take a look at the Kevin Costner and Kevin Reynolds epic turd that is Robin Hood. With special guests Hobbits, stunt butts, fisheye lenses, and a plot that makes absolutely no sense....oh and Shaun and Chelsea. Tallyho!
Over the top action:
Cheesy effects:
Horrendous acting:
Laugh-out-loud-ability:
Ridiculous stunts:
Gratuitous nudity:
Memorable one-liners:
Good Movie Quality:
Bad Movie Quality:
This 0.5 episode is sponsored by Bryan Adam's Lost LOST Recordings as we get ready for Kevin Costner's to charm our way through the turd that is Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. This movie was a mega-blockbuster and we wouldn't be surprised of the amount of people that have no clue that this movie sucks so bad. It's cheesy, poorly acted, completely unbelievable, doesn't make any sense, and no one knows it. There's a cast of thousands with Christian Slater (ugh), Morgan Freeman, Alan Rickman and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio; all of them mail it in except for Costner and Slater who act as best as they can. Justin and Sam have history with this movie. Justin loved it when he was 14 years old. When it came out on DVD, Justin bought it immediately. Him and Sam then watched and immediately afterwards drove to Hastings to sell it back. They would only give him $.50 for it, so Justin threw it out the window of his car. Sorry environment. Blame Costner.
We start by wishing Sam a happy birthday (he now smells of Ben Gay.....cause he's old). We also want to share our YouTube channel specifically Our Recommended Movies playlist. These movies are completely free and are some of the best stinkers we've found on there. We'll try to keep this updated as time goes on. If you have any suggestions for movies to add to it that you find, please either email us at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or visit our forums and let us know.
The Power Rangers are going to be back in theaters in 2016 - we all put this on our "not to do" list
Let the war for Planet Mongo begin! Its the QB of the New York Jets vs. Max Van Sydow's evil eyebrows, endless robots (are they robots?) and people that bleed oil. This is one bad movie...that rules.
Sam J. Jones from Playgirl and The Dating Game fame takes on the complex and emotionally challenging role of Flash Gordon, a guy who gains super fighting skills when holding things somewhat shaped like footballs. When the evil guy from Planet Mongo makes the weather of the world gets pretty messed up and natural disasters happen such as "Volcano, Volcano Eruption and Hot Hail", Flash Gordon must fall asleep on space rocket, fall in love by holding hands, and then wander around a few planet/moons/asteroids until he can unite the tribes of Mongo in order to stop Emperor Ming.
This film is really really really bad. It's fun, I'll disclaim, but it truly is a giant train wreck. It's made on the scale of a Cecil B. DeMille movie but looks about as good as a Roger Corman film. It's ridiculous. The set pieces are giant, the costumes are lavish and the visual effects are outlandish. But each piece is super super super dumb.
Presented by The 1980 Hawkman Rocket Cycle. Never fly blind through victory again!
Jackie gets us ready for one of the most popular bad movies of all time as Sam J Jones hits us in the face with his metaphorical football. Get pumped for Freddie Mercury (God rest his soul) and the rest of Queen, Max Von Sydow, Timothy Dalton, and sweeeeeettt costumes! Flash! AAAAWWWWW.
What happens if you turn a gymnast into an action hero, a trashy whore into super spy, James Bond into a Ben-Gay ad, and Gene Simmons into a lady-boy? Why you get this DTV gem of a movie, duh! Uncle Jesse saves the world from dirty water and Gene Simmons gives us a "too believable" performance. YEEEEAHH!
So John Stamos plays Lance Stargrove, a gymnastic champ who's father is a top secret agent (played by George Lazenby). When Lance's father dies preventing a group of hooligans from doing something unknown, Stargrove must take over the family business and stop Velvet Von Ragner (Gene Simmons), a transgender sociopath with dreams of world domination (we guess). Stargrove is helped out by Danja (Vanity) and his tech buddy Cliff (Peter Kwong).
Some bad movies have a great beginning and a great ending but the middle is dry and dull. This is often due to lack of a budget or lack of imagination in the writing. Never Too Young to Die is not one of those films. This thing comes in hot and never cools down with scene after scene of shenanigans that you look for in a classic stinker. From the unforgettable theme song (entitled Stargrove, naturally) to the climatic and preposterous battle on top of a dam between Stargrove and Von Ragner, this one is solid gold.
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