Madame Web

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Look into your future and see if you're gonna be in any other movies. Looks bleak! 

"Madame Web" is a masterclass in how not to make a superhero movie or really any movie for that matter. From start to finish, it's a torturous slog through wooden acting, a plot riddled with more holes than Swiss cheese, and an antagonist so one-dimensional and implausibly powered that it feels like the writers stopped caring halfway through.

The acting, if it can even be called that, is painfully stilted. Each line is delivered with the enthusiasm of someone reading a grocery list, making it impossible to connect with any of the characters. The supposed chemistry among the cast is non-existent, leaving the audience to endure awkward interactions and flat dialogue that makes the lengthy runtime feel even longer.

As for the plot, it seems the writers threw coherence out the window but more likely were shackled by the studios fidgeting from the "men in ties" department. The story is a tangled mess of nonsensical events that fail to build any meaningful narrative or tension. Plot holes abound, making it difficult to follow the story's logic—or lack thereof. Key elements are either unexplained or glossed over, leaving viewers scratching their heads in confusion.

The antagonist, Ezekiel, is a joke, lacking any depth or motivation that would make him remotely interesting or threatening. His powers are as dubious as their purpose, fluctuating wildly with no consistency or explanation. This lack of a compelling villain drains the movie of any potential excitement or stakes.

The only thing worse than the plot and the characters is the pacing. The movie drags on interminably, with large portions dedicated to watching teenage girls bicker about the most trivial matters. It's excruciatingly dull, making you wish for the credits to roll long before the story reaches its lackluster climax.

In short, "Madame Web" is a painfully boring disaster that fails on nearly every level. Save yourself the agony and skip this cinematic train wreck.

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