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The Legend of Billie Jean

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Billie Jean leads a movement of oppressed 80's kids against.....adults? Because she wants that damn $608 and FAIR IS FAIR!

So once upon a hot summer in Corpus Christi, a 14 year old guy named Binx gets his sweet scooter trashed by some older d-bags. His older sister goes to the dad of said punk and demands he repay for the damages. Instead that guy tries to put her on a rape-repayment plan and gets shot by Binx. The kids bolt and become defacto Bonnie and Clyde figures of the day's youth. That's really more than you need to know about this film. I went in completely blind as to what it was and I am so glad that I did. Thanks alot Google for making us have to write up content each time that spoils the movie. Nice algorithm! I should revolt against the man too because fair IS fair.

Anyways, the old d-bags do bad things (usually rape) and get away with it in the 80's is a fairly common theme we come up against on this podcast. See TomboyThe Wraith, Savage Streets and so many others....I guess just pick any 80's film. Odds are you're gonna have elements of this. But what makes Billie Jean special is how much it veers away from the common tropes of this (for lack of a better word) genre. Instead of the lead going on a path of vengeance, our heroine (Helen Slater's Billie Jean) goes on the lamb and vicariously creates a cult of teenagers who've just had about a damn nuff of these adults being unfair, I guess. I literally have no idea what the cults goal is other than to worship and protect Billie Jean. All ol' BJ wants is the $608 her brother is owed for her scooter. But even that is murky as she exploits her situation to get a new scooter. I guess she just really loves riding on the back of a scooter in skimpy clothes with her younger brother who may or may not have blood in his noggin, definitely not enough that he should be driving that scooter!

The Legend of Billie Jean is another microcosm of 80's film. Its not that there's any one thing you can point to and say THAT is what makes this movie awesomely terrible. Its the entire piece. The theme, the soundtrack, the plot, its all dripped in 80's nacho cheese. The kind that gives you a stomach ache later but man does it taste good on the way down.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:2-star
Cheesy effects:0-star
Horrendous acting:2-star
Laugh-out-loud-ability:3-star
Ridiculous stunts:1-star
Gratuitous nudity:1-star
Memorable one-liners:2-star
Nonsensical Plot:4-star

Riffability:4-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 4-star
Bad Movie Quality:7-star

Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode

Become a Patron!

Watch the Trailer!

Billie Jean leads a movement of oppressed 80's kids against.....adults? Because she wants that damn $608 and FAIR IS FAIR!

So once upon a hot summer in Corpus Christi, a 14 year old guy named Binx gets his sweet scooter trashed by some older d-bags. His older sister goes to the dad of said punk and demands he repay for the damages. Instead that guy tries to put her on a rape-repayment plan and gets shot by Binx. The kids bolt and become defacto Bonnie and Clyde figures of the day's youth. That's really more than you need to know about this film. I went in completely blind as to what it was and I am so glad that I did. Thanks alot Google for making us have to write up content each time that spoils the movie. Nice algorithm! I should revolt against the man too because fair IS fair.

Anyways, the old d-bags do bad things (usually rape) and get away with it in the 80's is a fairly common theme we come up against on this podcast. See TomboyThe Wraith, Savage Streets and so many others....I guess just pick any 80's film. Odds are you're gonna have elements of this. But what makes Billie Jean special is how much it veers away from the common tropes of this (for lack of a better word) genre. Instead of the lead going on a path of vengeance, our heroine (Helen Slater's Billie Jean) goes on the lamb and vicariously creates a cult of teenagers who've just had about a damn nuff of these adults being unfair, I guess. I literally have no idea what the cults goal is other than to worship and protect Billie Jean. All ol' BJ wants is the $608 her brother is owed for her scooter. But even that is murky as she exploits her situation to get a new scooter. I guess she just really loves riding on the back of a scooter in skimpy clothes with her younger brother who may or may not have blood in his noggin, definitely not enough that he should be driving that scooter!

The Legend of Billie Jean is another microcosm of 80's film. Its not that there's any one thing you can point to and say THAT is what makes this movie awesomely terrible. Its the entire piece. The theme, the soundtrack, the plot, its all dripped in 80's nacho cheese. The kind that gives you a stomach ache later but man does it taste good on the way down.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:2-star
Cheesy effects:0-star
Horrendous acting:2-star
Laugh-out-loud-ability:3-star
Ridiculous stunts:1-star
Gratuitous nudity:1-star
Memorable one-liners:2-star
Nonsensical Plot:4-star

Riffability:4-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 4-star
Bad Movie Quality:7-star

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Tuesday, 28 June 2022

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