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Jurassic World

Jurassic World
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Gramps and Tucker from the If We Made It podcast join us for a Bad Movie Field trip with the most successful film of 2015, Jurassic World. It's been labeled by the geniuses of the Internet as a cinematic milkshake of bad movie tropes and not carrying the spirit of 1993's Jurassic Park. We ask, "What do you want from a monster movie?"

Jurassic World at its core is just plain silly. The employees are all buffoons, the CEO may be the worst one of all time, and Chris Pratt's jungle man routine is about as preposterous as Donald Trump being President. It's all just silly. Critics and haters alike complain about the film not taking itself seriously enough and Bryce Dallas Howard traipsing through jungles and stepping in dino doo doo in high heels, with a bevy of buzzwords like one-dimensional, cliche, and lackluster. Perhaps you should just stick with Kurosawa films, it's a friggin movie about dinosaurs eating people! You can claim that your precious Jurassic Park is a film about taking science too far without considering the consequences but ask any child (which is the franchise's target market, not you Beardy) and they will tell you its about dinosaurs eating people.

But you didn't ask for reality, you asked for more teeth.

Henry Wu Jurassic World

We praise this film and the vision from director Colin Trevorrow. In a world where studios are constantly fiddling with franchises and execs dipping their hands into the filmmaker's cookie jar (we're talking to you FOX, Sony & Disney), Universal has given us another film (See Fast franchise, which also made a pile of money in 2015) with the reins removed and an idea of "Maybe the viewing audience should go to the theater and have a good time." The film even calls to reference its own cliche's with Lowery playing hero, music building, moves in for a kiss from Vivian in the same manner as every other movie ever with the end joke of her having a boyfriend. It's great!

So we say, screw you purists. This isn't the newest biopic or historical depiction of how crappy things were 150 years ago or obligatory white man's guilt film. This is a film about dinosaurs fucking some shit up. Sit back in your seats, eat your popcorn and smile. You're there to have a good time.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:5-star
Cheesy effects:3-star
Horrendous acting:2-star
Laugh-out-loud-ability:4-star
Ridiculous stunts:0-star
Gratuitous nudity:0-star
Memorable one-liners:4-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 7-star
Bad Movie Quality:8-star

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Comments 1

Guest - Clauzy on Sunday, 01 August 2021 15:03

Great podcast even though I disagree . Sound came across good with 5, that can turn out a disaster.

I know it's from ages ago but this is a pure stinker. I don't think it is as self aware as said here, because it's the same bullshit action formula we've had to endure the last 10-15 years, keep everyone happy put bums on seats and even with your annoying college boy jock hero. It does have it's moments though and a great start, although I nearly walked out of the cinema after the terrible cgi crow at the start (they're not extinct film a real crow).

Favourite part was the part when Vincent d'onofrio is talking to the raptor before he becomes bird bait, I broke my shite laughing in the cinema, he says something like "I thought we we're on the same side right" I pictured the raptor saying "wrong" in full Arnie voice. But that's what this film is trying to be smart about that dinosaurs I.e animals can talk with each other and humans ? I kept waiting for them to break out into full conversation. Each to their own though if we all liked bad movies it would be a boring world and maybe I'm harsh on it just found 2nd half boring.

Just to note my kids couldn't even watch Jurassic Park first time round too scary, they sat through this not a bother, a few frights but as you said Justin or Sam no intense tension building to a scare.

I first noticed Howard's hotness from one of those twilight films, when my then future wife forced me to knuckle down and go to it, so ended up a win win ?. Howard is defo a time machine hit list for future time machine explorers.

Keep up the great work... oh wait you have

Great podcast even though I disagree :D. Sound came across good with 5, that can turn out a disaster. I know it's from ages ago but this is a pure stinker. I don't think it is as self aware as said here, because it's the same bullshit action formula we've had to endure the last 10-15 years, keep everyone happy put bums on seats and even with your annoying college boy jock hero. It does have it's moments though and a great start, although I nearly walked out of the cinema after the terrible cgi crow at the start (they're not extinct film a real crow). Favourite part was the part when Vincent d'onofrio is talking to the raptor before he becomes bird bait, I broke my shite laughing in the cinema, he says something like "I thought we we're on the same side right" I pictured the raptor saying "wrong" in full Arnie voice. But that's what this film is trying to be smart about that dinosaurs I.e animals can talk with each other and humans ? I kept waiting for them to break out into full conversation. Each to their own though if we all liked bad movies it would be a boring world ;) and maybe I'm harsh on it just found 2nd half boring. Just to note my kids couldn't even watch Jurassic Park first time round too scary, they sat through this not a bother, a few frights but as you said Justin or Sam no intense tension building to a scare. I first noticed Howard's hotness from one of those twilight films, when my then future wife forced me to knuckle down and go to it, so ended up a win win ?. Howard is defo a time machine hit list for future time machine explorers. Keep up the great work... oh wait you have :D
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Monday, 27 September 2021

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