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The Terror Within

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In a post-apocalyptic world, a group of scientists find a pregnant lady and then the shenanigans ensue. A tea-drinking monster finds its way around their base, operating elevators and smashing speakers like The Who all with the singular objective of lady butt. The terror within, indeed.

Essentially, this is Alien but underground and in a singular location ("singular" twice in as many sentences? take that English 102). Somehow, somewhy monsters called "gargoyles" are around wandering the wasteland. They don't eat people or animals. They just kill men and have their way with the women. Once a lady is impregnanted a new gargoyle comes out and the process repeats. However the host is killed. And because they killed the men, there's no more ladies being born to sustain their species. These things are dumb. Their lifecycle is about 7 days and they have holes in their skin and can't close their jaw. I think the remnants of humanity will be just fine. You just need to wait them out, they'll die out on their own.

So what's fun here? Well, aside from their horrendously terrible rubber suit that the monster actor wears, its mostly the ineptitude of our band of heroes. While I say that humankind will be fine, I will retract that statement if the rest of us are as dumb as the occupants of Mojave Lab. Not to mention these guys are already dead from dehydration before the movie already started. There's no damn water supply! Ok, I'll move on. In one scene, they find themselves in a hall way that has oily rags in a bucket next to barrels that have "explosive" written on it. Of course, you're gonna explode your whole base. Our favorite character is Dr. Linda, who at point blank, tells her patient that all is fine - after being freshly raped and impregnated by a monster.

"I'm not fine! I have a monster baby in me!"
"Nope, it's a human."
"I wasn't pregnant yesterday. Today I am and it's because of monster rape!"
"Nope. You're good. Sleep well."

While it can be a little slow and draggy here and there, the plot is enough to carry this into the do category for me, but two other SM hosts said it's a don't. Enter at your own risk, I guess.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:2-star
Cheesy effects:3-star
Horrendous acting:2-star
Laugh-out-loud-ability:3-star
Ridiculous stunts:3-star
Gratuitous nudity:0-star
Memorable one-liners:2-star
Nonsensical Plot:4-star

Riffability:4-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 3-star
Bad Movie Quality:6-star

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Tuesday, 19 October 2021

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