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Hobgoblins

hobgoblins
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Well, you could always just lock the door that contains aliens hell-bent on destroying lives, MacCready.

Hobgoblins (1988) is the kind of classic cinematic disaster that bad movie connoisseurs dream of. It’s a true gem in the "so-bad-it's-good" genre, serving up every ridiculous trope you could hope for with a straight face. The budget is, to put it kindly, non-existent. You can almost hear the coins jingling in the director's pocket as they make every possible corner-cut. The "hobgoblins" themselves—clearly puppets—are so laughably bad that you can’t help but wonder if they were purchased at a yard sale. They wobble, flop, and seem to be more interested in starring in a middle school production than in wreaking havoc.

The acting? Let's just say the cast appears to have been picked up from a local mall food court. The dialogue delivery is awkward at best and painful at worst, with a cast that seems genuinely confused as to whether they’re in a horror film or a comedy. But therein lies part of its charm: this is a movie that doesn’t know what it’s doing, and it’s doing it with complete sincerity.

The plot is a fever dream that barely holds together. Some sort of government warehouse holds dangerous creatures (because of course it does), and these hobgoblins have the power to make people’s fantasies come true—though how or why is a question the film couldn’t be bothered to answer. The rules of the film’s universe break constantly, which somehow adds to the chaos and comedy, especially when you stop trying to make sense of it. Why are the hobgoblins doing any of this? Who cares! This is all about the ride.

If you're into riffing, Hobgoblins is a riffer’s paradise. The unintentional humor is endless, and every scene begs to be torn apart by a quick wit. Between the atrocious puppetry, nonsensical plot twists, and wooden performances, you’re in for a treat if your idea of fun is mercilessly mocking a film.

To be clear, Hobgoblins is not for everyone. It’s the cinematic equivalent of a dumpster fire: fascinating to watch, but only for those who appreciate the beauty of the burn. For the advanced class of bad movie lovers, though, this is a must-watch. It’s a perfect storm of everything you love to hate about bad movies, and it will leave you grinning at its sheer ineptitude.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:2-star
Cheesy effects:2-star
Horrendous acting:4-star
Laugh-out-loud-ability:3-star
Ridiculous stunts:0-star
Gratuitous nudity:0-star
Memorable one-liners:2-star
Nonsensical Plot:4-star

Riffability:5-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 2-star
Bad Movie Quality:6-star

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Thursday, 14 November 2024

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