Listen on Google Play Music

Aladdin

aladdin
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode

Become a Patron!

Watch the Whole Movie!

The male version of Teen Witch steals a magic lamp from his work and goes on a series of misguided adventures with his new dad, The Jinn who is just as drunk and disorderly as his bio-dad who went out for smokes and never came back.

Our hero, Al Haddin, isn't a good guy. He's a thief, conceited, a GHB bro, and only cares about one thing - himself. One could argue that's because he's never had a positive father-figure in his life but I think its much deeper than that. Which, if I remember, I'll get into later. But either way, it's hard to root for little Al. Once he gets the lamp and subsequently the genie and his powers, things really go off the rails. He first wishes for a car "that rockstars drive", a Rolls Royce. Fine, I would probably do the same. Secondly, he wishes that the car doesn't have to obey the laws of physics and can fly. Sure, I get it. Traffic sucks, until you realize the military has scrambled F-18s to you as you are now a UFO. Ok, chalk it up to a simple misunderstanding. Then he wishes to give his secret crush a necklace to impress her. Ok, well now we're getting dicey, but I'd love to also give my wife a diamond necklace (and because its made with magic instead of slave labor its blood diamond free), however Al gives her a $10 seashell necklace that will likely give her ringworm. Al you live in Florida, my dude, you could have bought that at any street vendor in South Beach. THEN when she rejects his advances, he uses the power of the Jinn to force her to kiss him. Ok, I know this is 1986. Its still gross. It was gross in Teen Witch, it was gross in License to Drive and its gross here. Weinsteining is a crime at any age. I'm now way off of Team Al.

So after various and plentiful hijinks vignettes including the stunningly bad/great flying car sequence, various dealings with mob goons and a very dark child sex-trafficking plot (yeah, wow), we end up with Eugene (the Genie) getting outed as a supernatural being to the Mayor/Chief/James Bond Villain who wants to use the Jinn's powers to rid the world of war making except for one particular military base in Canada that he must have won in a card game or something so that he can be the ruler of Earth. Not sure how that all works but it results in a much deserved magic carpet ride/helicopter chase that looks worse than the flying car sequence and rivals the effects of Pumaman. Its fantastic. Oh and all wants to murder the people chasing them (oh yeah he wanted to murder the mob guys and the wait staff at their club, too). Only Eugene talks him out of it. Al's final wish is for the Jinn to become human and bang his mom. Woof.

Aladdin is about as cheesy as they get. With that, it is also baffling poorly thought out, looks terrible and has a musical score that will make Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny cringe. But its a laugh riot and prime riffing material. Three thumbs up and a total do from us.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:2-star
Cheesy effects:4-star
Horrendous acting:3-star
Laugh-out-loud-ability:3-star
Ridiculous stunts:2-star
Gratuitous nudity:0-star
Memorable one-liners:1-star
Nonsensical Plot:3-star

Riffability:5-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 3-star
Bad Movie Quality:7-star

Fast Getaway
Terror Within II

Related Posts

 

Comments

No comments made yet. Be the first to submit a comment
Already Registered? Login Here
Guest
Saturday, 04 December 2021

Captcha Image

Just Subscribe Already!

Stinker Madness Podcast LogoIts obvious you like Stinker Madness, so subscribe to the podcast and get new episodes of Stinker Madness every week - on your phone, your tablet, your computer, however you like to listen! Once you’ve subscribed, free episodes will automatically download on Fridays and Mondays. Don't know what the hell a podcast is or what it means to subscribe? Enter the present: Click here.

  • I Don't Know How to Get a Podcast
  • Subscribe via iTunes
  • Subscribe on Android
  • RSS Feed
  • Listen on Stitcher
  • This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

itunessubscribe stitcherSubscribeOnAndroid