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Steel Dawn

steel-dawn
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Its a straight-up western, but because its from 1987 it has to be set in a post-apocalyptic world and instead of cowboy hats, we get hair-spray helmets. Despite everything there might be a good movie buried in the sands.

So its Shane, Once upon in the West, Star Wars and Fallout 4. Ok, maybe Fallout 4 is Steel Dawn. Clearly, Fallout 76 is Steel Dawn. Anyways, this is a hot mess. 

The music doesn't fit. The world doesn't make any damn sense. The plot doesn't make much sense. The hair makes no sense. The action is ludicrous. The Stranger's one-liners are silly. It's just a pile of not doing a good job and yet...somehow it feels like there's something good here.

The tone of the whole movie is a fairly conventional western theme. A lone wanderer with a dark past shuffles into town, where he meets a widow and her son along with their jealous and lonely foreman, and has to defend the farm from a rival who wants their resources. That's about as western (or Japanese samurai, of which most spaghetti westerns are imitations of) as a movie gets. Atop of that is solid camera work that highlights this tone and story. It seems like there's a good movie buried here.

Yet because its a PA film, you've got a bunch of nonsense; like sand-people, cool looking but useless weapons, crappy and dirty sets and future cars that mostly suck. You've got characters who don't make sense and motivations that are dubious at best. Sprinkle in some scenes that are bonkers like the romance in the dirt, the party crashers at "the gathering", inept henchmen and why they live in the wasteland in the first place makes this an absolute must do and likely a favorite for many a viewer.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:4-star
Cheesy effects:2-star
Horrendous acting:3-star
Laugh-out-loud-ability:3-star
Ridiculous stunts:3-star
Gratuitous nudity:0-star
Memorable one-liners:4-star
Nonsensical Plot:4-star

Riffability:3-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 4-star
Bad Movie Quality:8-star

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Sunday, 25 February 2024

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