Put on your sequin jumpsuit, grow out your side-burns, and fry up them bananas because we've got a movie this week that features too many Elvis' and so many Razzie nominations. It's Kevin Costner vs Kurt Russell in a no hold barred competition of who can suck more.
There is nowhere in the lower 48 states that is a distance of 3000 miles to Graceland. The furthest point from Graceland in the contiguous United States is the border to Canada in Washington State, north of Seattle. It is a little over 2500 miles from Graceland. Through rushed deduction and relatively unsound mathematics I have decided that the major city that would be closest aforementioned distance would be Calgary, known for it’s famous rodeo, not so much it’s Elvises.
This film would be directed by Damien Lichtenstein and the script would be provided by Richard Recco with Lichtenstein’s involvement. Though it would seem that Lichtenstein was prolific in music video, Recco was and is relatively unknown. So how is it that these novices in the industry would get a budget of $62 million from Warner Brothers around the year 2000 to produce a heist film, which is a genre know for more modest budgets.
The story seems to be a tale of two Elvises, actually a more of a tale of two guys who had man boners for Elvis. Those guys are Kurt Russell and Kevin Costner. Apparently their love of Elvis is where the commonality stops with these two. After getting this flying turd off the tarmac in pre-production, whatever sort of relationship they had eroded into rivalry. Kurt Russell of course stared as child who kicks Elvis in the leg in the film It Happened at the World’s Fair. Russell would make sure that the film pays several homage’s to this and though he couldn’t get it in the film he was constantly making it known to all that it was he who played Elvis in the John Carpenter made for TV biopic of the iconic star.
The original cut of this film was far too gory for release by Warner, as I understand it, fire hoses of blood gory. This would open the door for the final showdown between Costner and Russell who would each get to make their own cuts of the film. Costner’s cut would accentuate his ability to be a leading action star while minimizing Russell’s contribution as much as possible, while Russell’s cut would all but eliminate Costner and focus the film as a Rom-Com with he and Courtney Cox. Test audiences were none too keen and it was decided that the original cut would be tamed down. Allegedly the rumor is that Russell got the role of the hero and top billing only due to his Wyatt Earp movie doing better at the box office.
KAEOF: Kevin Pollack, David Arquette, Jon Lovitz, Thomas Hayden Church, Bookeem Woodbine, Ice-T and the on screen reunion of Howie Long and Christian Slater from the classic Broken Arrow. Also we will be looking for the least plausible event, worst line and of course worst and best Elvis.