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C.H.O.M.P.S.

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C.H.O.M.P.S. is like a slow painful death from a stab wound in the tummy while getting your head pressed in an iron maiden. It's awful. Even if you are a dog lover, you will want this annoyance to cease to exist within 30 minutes. 

Seriously, Jackie and Justin own 3 dogs and they are part of our family. We are huge dog lovers. But nothing can excuse this little bastard. You want him to die and when he finally explodes you instead of feeling bad, are thrilled because its at least a few minutes where you don't have to be assaulted visually and aurally by this movie. 

There is nothing redeeming for the film. Yes it has bad acting and yes its really stupid but these two items are masked by the overly intrusive soundtrack and the unending smorgasbord of generic sound effects that C.H.O.M.P.S. makes while he gallivants around town. There is nothing good here to be had.

Yes, we know its a children's movie. Really? Show this to a kid and then ask them how much they liked it when the angry dogs snarls in their face continually. Ask them how they feel when C.H.O.M.P.S. gets disassembled for the fourth time. If I know kids, there's nothing more that they like than a dogs head coming off a bunch of times. This is the stuff of nightmares for wee ones and its not much more comforting for adults either.

Steer clear of C.H.O.M.P.S. unless you want to eyeball torture Malcolm McDowell or are trying to extract intel from someone at Guantanamo. Its sucks.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:1-star
Cheesy effects:2-star
Horrendous acting:3-star
Laugh-out-loud-ability:0-star
Ridiculous stunts:1-star
Gratuitous nudity:0-star
Memorable one-liners:0-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 3-star
Bad Movie Quality:2-star

Prelude to Mac and Me
Prelude to C.H.O.M.P.S.

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Sunday, 24 September 2017

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