Listen on Google Play Music

EasyBlog

This is some blog description about this site

Commando

Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode


Watch the Trailer!

Our good movie friend Tucker (If We Made It Podcast) stops by to discuss one of the greatest/stupidest action movies of all time. Be prepared for ridiculous (hilarious) Arnold impressions.

Commando is so iconic and such a staple in "men with guns" movies that it's hard to avoid and impossible to dislike. It's level of over-the-top is unequaled that for the next 15 years in film, every action movie attempts to be Commando but none have come close. It's the model, but at the same time it's SOOOOO stupid.

So the plot...John Matrix must confront a fat man in a yarn shirt who isn't the main villain to rescue his daughter who probably is just really bored. Along the way there is an incredible amount of ridiculousness but SOOO much awesomeness as well as Arnold tears through a ludicrous amount of bad guys. It's very easy to understand Matrix's motivations but every other character really doesn't have any. Why is Cindy so involved? What could Bennett possibly have to gain? How does Dan Hedaya's guy possibly expect to take over a country while he's just hanging out at home off the coast of California? None of it makes any sense.

The violence...wow. It's at a 10 and none of it is anything but laughable. The end 15 minutes is the fastest death count until 2008's Rambo but does not bear the same brutality or gravity as Rambo. Its pretty much rolling on the floor laughing with tears streaming down your face levels of gravity. So none.

Then there's Bennett. Vernon Welles (no offense) is one of the worst casts ever. He's pudgy, he's not very action-packed, he's got this crappy accent that isn't quite clear or necessary and then there's the character. Bennett is madly in love with John Matrix and very horny for him. His lust is supposed to be being mad with revenge but its clear that Bennett wants to have some alone time with Matrix involving a bear skin rug and a fire. Hilarious.

Commando was written by a 12 year old, directed by one of the best stinker directors in history (Mark L. Lester), Schwaz is at his most Schwazy, so many one-liners and so many dead guys killed in horrific ways that it is an absolute must see/revisit/once once a year film forever. 

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:5-star
Cheesy effects:3-star
Horrendous acting:4-star
Laugh-out-loud-ability:4-star
Ridiculous stunts:4-star
Gratuitous nudity:3-star
Memorable one-liners:5-star
Riffability:5-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 4-star
Bad Movie Quality:9-star

We also highly recommend checking this video out after watching the movie:

Prelude to Firewalker
Prelude to Commando

Related Posts

 

Comments

No comments made yet. Be the first to submit a comment
Guest
Monday, 20 November 2017

Captcha Image

Just Subscribe Already!

Stinker Madness Podcast LogoIts obvious you like Stinker Madness, so subscribe to the podcast and get new episodes of Stinker Madness every week - on your phone, your tablet, your computer, however you like to listen! Once you’ve subscribed, free episodes will automatically download on Fridays and Mondays. Don't know what the hell a podcast is or what it means to subscribe? Enter the present: Click here.

  • I Don't Know How to Get a Podcast
  • Subscribe via iTunes
  • Subscribe on Android
  • RSS Feed
  • Listen on Stitcher
  • This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

itunessubscribe stitcherSubscribeOnAndroid