EasyBlog

This is some blog description about this site

Armageddon

Armageddon
3-star
4-star
5-star
2-star
0-star
0-star
2-star
3-star
2-star
5-star
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode


Watch the Trailer!

It's one of the crappiest movies ever to have such vast success. Thanks teenage girls. This movie is a whole lot of visual pain and my brain hurts from knowing how stupid it is. Get ready for some real crummy science!

The science....just one time open a book. Just once! So many explosions in space. So much NASA looking completely stupid. Ugh. Moving on...

Despite how bad the science is, it's really the most forgivable part of this turd. This film suffers from "The Idiot Plot", in which the plot of the movie can only exist if everyone in the story is a complete and total moron. NASA makes the big mistake of sending a cadre of morons into space instead of their astronauts, don't bother to come up with plan B, spend all their time dinking around with driller training, and also being in charge of all life on Earth. Nice. Then there's Bruce Willy and team, who we can forgive because, well....they're idiots. They shouldn't even be up there!

Continue reading
0 Comments

Prelude to Armageddon

Prelude to Armageddon
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode


Watch the Trailer!

This week on the greatest podcast about bad movies, Sam decides to punish us for 2 1/2 hours with both Michael Bay and Bruce Willis' first appearance on the show. It's the "classic" teenage-girl loving mega-hit, Armageddon, in which a rock gets sploded by oil drillers. Prepare for some bad science! 

Streaming Dos and Don'tsThe Colony - NetflixMazes and Monsters - Amazon PrimeSpace Mutiny - Netflix (MST3K) The Wild Card - The Great Superpower DebateThe Iron Foot - 7.25/10 starsAbout Armageddon - Movie InformationSam's Boring Bullshit

Knock knock?Who’s there?Armageddon.Armageddon Who?Armageddon on your nerves yet? If not give me another 2 and a half hours.

That’s right, despite the cumbersome length, it is finally time for Michael Bay to please step forward. This will also be Jerry Bruckhiemer’s first time on the show, somehow, he will definitely be back as my next pick is Con Air. I am sure he will be back after that as well, his filmography reads like a movie critics rogues gallery. The third member of the superstar filmmaking team is Gale Anne Hurd. Though more respected in critical circles, Gale is now a Stinker Madness 3 timer as she also produced Dante’s Peak and Punisher War Zone. The Screenplay, as you can imagine, was tackled by as many as nine individuals at various times but it would appear that Hurd’s husband and scribe of many stinkers, Jonathan Hensleigh was on the frontend and Tony Gilroy and JJ Abrams got in on the action.

Continue reading
0 Comments

Twister

Twister
5-star
3-star
4-star
4-star
1-star
1-star
2-star
5-star
4-star
7-star
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode


Watch the Trailer!

We all lost a huge part of our show and entertainment in general in the passing of Bill Paxton. He was a one of a kind type of actor and while that may seem cliche to say in the wake of someone's death in Hollywood, we'll stand by it. Bill had a depth that few possess, taking roles as varied as the pyschotic Severen in Near Dark (and is the only reason to watch the movie) to the silly Matt Owens in (Slipstream) to the model for a douche in Simon from True Lies (and steals the comedic show from Arnold and Arnold) to the warm but frightened Fred Haise in Apollo 13. The guy could play anything. 

So with that in mind, we tackle the 1996 disasterooney of Twister. With all its cliches and tropes that run rampant in the disaster genre, can the immensely popular film stand up to 20 years of time since its release? Who is this Helen Hunt lady? How did Phillip Seymour Hoffman become a thing? Is that a flying cow? All this and more revealed in our podcast episode. Listen to it!

Twister is WOW stupid. It falls into that mold of "these characters should have died in multiple instances but don't thanks to ludicrous writing". And they are all pretty blatant. One does not need to be a forensic scientist to understand that these people died multiple times. Pretty awesome stupid.

Continue reading
0 Comments

2012

2012
4-star
2-star
4-star
1-star
3-star
0-star
2-star
3-star
4-star
5-star
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode


Watch the Trailer!

Roland pulls out all the stops in the disaster genre by blowing up the entire planet (sorta). Bad science and bad acting abound in one heck of a production, but does that translate into a good time?

Lets just start by saying this film is way too long. By the 3/4 point even the diehard dumb movie viewer is tired and bored of the "excitement". It just keeps going and going and going. That would be ok if you could possibly be emotionally invested in the characters in anyway. But you just want them all to die.

The acting is awful. Woody Harrelson steals the show with his terrible hippie Art Bell. But he's not alone. John Cusask shows us why he went straight to VOD after this. His Jackson Curtis is about the least likable character in all of film. He's a giant douche who at no point redeems himself. Amanda Peet (who somehow manages to keep her top on) does nothing to thrill us. Danny Glover looks quite confused throughout.

Continue reading
0 Comments

Prelude to 2012

Prelude to 2012
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode


Watch the Trailer!

Well we exit 2016 with a bang...sorta. We went ahead and re-recorded our previous attempt at 2012, since we bungled the first versions and now in all it's glory we dive into the 2009 film from stinker Hall of Famer, Roland Emmerich in which the world explodes...sorta.

Casual Do's and Don'tsHellbent (1988) - IMDBDemolition High - YouTubeThe Village of the Giants - MST3K on YouTube OR standard versionThe Wild Card - Pop Quiz Hotshot (2012 Edition)A Judy Garland dress which sold for $302,000 in 2012 was worn in which movie? The Wizard of OzWhat is the year 2012 in Roman numerals? MMXIIWho became the oldest actor to win an Oscar in 2012? Christopher PlummerWhat member of the Monkees died in 2012? Davy JonesName the devastating mid/N American hurricane of Oct 2012? SandyWhat film released in 2012 went on to win Oscar gold? ArgoRazzie winner? Twilight 4About 2012 (2009) - Movie InformationSam's Boring Bullshit

2012 released in 2009 as it would have been far too late otherwise. By the way, we are all currently dead. We collectively did not heed the words of Nostra-Dumb-Ass, nor did we individually learn to fly limousines; for shame. Roland Emerich tried to tell us in 2009, but we didn’t listen.  He also tried to tell us about magical gateways to the stars, and how great James Spader’s hair used to be. He also wants us to listen to what 50’Cent has to say, as the main character, Jackson Curtis, is names sort of backwards after the rapper. Upon writing this I realized I know really nothing about Curtis Jackson or know any of his songs, but with titles like: “I Get Money”, “I Get In” and “OK, You’re Right”, he probably isn’t wrong?

Emerich stated in an interview that this would be his last disaster movie, it wasn’t, not by a long shot.  I don’t know what he thought he was going to do? Make movie about horses? Heavy drama? – Coming this spring; An Inconsequential Day in March starring John Hurt and Jane Seymour, bring a pillow… - I am not against Emerich making more personal projects but he needs to keep blowing up landmarks until the ride his ass out of town on a rail.

Continue reading
0 Comments

Dante's Peak

Dante's Peak
3-star
3-star
2-star
4-star
2-star
0-star
2-star
5-star
4-star
6-star
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode


Watch the Trailer!

Our second of back to back "stupid volcano movies from 1997" is the possibly the least disastery of any disaster movies ever created. Spoiler alert - body count is 5 and a tiny hick town gets cleared off the map. It's fine since they were just a bunch of smug buttholes anyways.

So if Volcano should have been named "Lava; Not Volcano Really", then Dante's Peak should have been called "Volcano; No Lava Really". It's a perfect mirror in opposite land. The volcano is HUGE but has very little lava. In fact the only thing that lava kills in this film is some truck tires. Very strange.

In the film Volcano, the disaster is at least disastrous, somewhat. In Dante's Peak its very not that way. A town of about 3000 people gets wiped out but only 4 people die due to the volcano; 3 of them didn't even live there and one was an insane old bitch that NO ONE liked. It's pretty not disastrous; quite unlike the structure of this sentence.

Continue reading
0 Comments

Prelude to Dante's Peak

Prelude to Dante's Peak
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode


Watch the Trailer!

Hey remember that OTHER volcano movie from 1997? Well its here on Stinker Madness to finally help us answer that age old question: which 1997 volcano movie is the most stupid? Dante's Peak stars Pierce Brosnan and Linda Hamilton.

Roman's Do's and Don'tsNinja Busters - Bluray only $24.99 on AmazonDangerous Men - $3.99 on YouTubeThe Barbarians - YouTubeThe Wild Card - The Great Superpower Debate

Extreme resistance to extreme heat but only from above - 3/10 stars

About Dante's Peak - Movie InformationSam's Boring Bullshit

These volcano movies of '97 really did poorly. Volcano had turned $47 million against a $120 million budget and the similarly themed Dante's Peak made $67 million versus a budget of $178 million. Apparently geology, is not box office gold, nor was it enough to keep me awake during my second semester in college. It should also be noted that this thing was almost as expensive as Titanic - the most expensive movie of all time when released.

Continue reading
0 Comments

Volcano

Volcano
4-star
4-star
2-star
4-star
3-star
0-star
2-star
3-star
7-star
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode


Watch the Trailer!

Tommy and Anne face off against some hot magma ("What's Magma?") in the first of two 1997 volcano movies. This one features a lead character who should be fired and never hired for his job, a slew of disaster movie cliches (Dog never dies, anyone?) and Stan, the Man-Chucking Man in possibly the stupidest movie we've ever seen on this show.

Let's start off by declaring how incredibly dumb this movie is. Every single bit of "science" is telegraphed to the audience because "Hey! They're stupid!" such as the definition of tectonic activity, gravity and magma. The volcano has a mind of its own and has Tommy Lee Jones sense meaning if Tommy is coming its sneaky and hides from him. The government officials of LA have no clue how things should work and it seems Tommy's Roark is the mayor as everyone calls him or reports to him daily even before the eruption. The Chief of Police even calls to obligatorily yell at someone, even if its completely unrelated to Emergency Management of which Roark is the director of. I can in no way define how stupid this movie is because in order to define something you must possess some semblance of intelligence. That would be a slap in the face of this movies lack thereof.

Then there's the effects. Too many people over use the "effects that don't stand up to time" but this thing never had a chance to stand up at all. I specifically talk about "the building" (and why there is a character to just set up that a building exists is beyond me). At one point, the cast stands in front of a large photo of the building as if they are there. Usually when someone looks at something fake they are looking at a painting that's supposed to be real but this time it's a photo....that's out of focus. Seriously.

Continue reading
0 Comments

Prelude to Volcano

Prelude to Volcano
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode


Watch the Trailer!

Surprise! Volcano! Tommy Lee Jones comes in to ask what magma is and see if his volcano movie of 1997 can be the dumber of the year. We all know its stupid, but how stupid can it be?

Roman's Do's and Don'tsLust for Freedom (1987) - YouTubeFurious (1984) - IMDBThe Zero Boys (1986) - IMDBWild Card - The Great Superpower DebateElectro-magnetic Telekinesis - 3.5 starsAbout Volcano - Movie InformationSam's Boring Bullshit

As evidenced by the classic 1997 film Volcano, there are some disaster management professionals out there who do not know what magma is, I am then to infer that there are possibly people out there, disaster management professionals or otherwise, who don't know what volcanoes are. I will explain this phenomenon as unscientifically as possible; a volcano is a giant dirt cone that shoots fire sauce out the top, not the good kind of fire sauce either. You put this stuff on your taco and it becomes el taco de la muerte. 

Oddly this film which seems to fumble the science like a greasy over inflated football, was helmed by one Mick Jackson. Jackson, before directing such films as LA Story, The Bodyguard and this pile of crap, had a hand in some of the greatest television ever made. One instance, and his first directorial effort is the James Burke series Connections. If you haven't seen Connections get a seat belt for your brain and buckle up. He would rebound from this film as well as Clean Slate with Dana Carvey, as it was done immediately prior to Volcano, making events for HBO such as the adaptation of Live From Baghdad and Temple Grandin, which won him an Emmy. After 19 years he returns to the silver screen soon with his most recent effort, Denial, which concluded filming in February.

Continue reading
0 Comments

Just Subscribe Already!

Stinker Madness Podcast LogoIts obvious you like Stinker Madness, so subscribe to the podcast and get new episodes of Stinker Madness every week - on your phone, your tablet, your computer, however you like to listen! Once you’ve subscribed, free episodes will automatically download on Fridays and Mondays. Don't know what the hell a podcast is or what it means to subscribe? Enter the present: Click here.

  • I Don't Know How to Get a Podcast
  • Subscribe via iTunes
  • Subscribe on Android
  • RSS Feed
  • Listen on Stitcher
  • This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

itunessubscribe stitcherSubscribeOnAndroid