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Our good movie friend Tucker (If We Made It Podcast) stops by to discuss one of the greatest/stupidest action movies of all time. Be prepared for ridiculous (hilarious) Arnold impressions.

Commando is so iconic and such a staple in "men with guns" movies that it's hard to avoid and impossible to dislike. It's level of over-the-top is unequaled that for the next 15 years in film, every action movie attempts to be Commando but none have come close. It's the model, but at the same time it's SOOOOO stupid.

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Prelude to Commando

Prelude to Commando
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To purge ourselves from the misery of last weeks movie we dowse ourselves in awesomeness and then light ourselves on fire (that was all figurative, in no way do we endorse lighting yourself on fire...unless you're a total tool, then go for it) and let Arnold take the show over it the quintessential action movie of the 1980s (maybe even ever) but still incredibly dumb, Commando.

Fall SMABFA Contenders

  • Ben-Hur - Uh, you know you screwed up here.
  • Nine Lives - Thanks for telling our kids they are stupid and will like anything. Their not and they hated this.
  • The Mechanic: Resurrection - Statham takes a shot at getting that Best Bad Movie title. Possible surprise one here.
  • Rings - So what? Sumara lives in Netflix now? Come on it worked (barely) with VHS but 20 years later is too much later....

The Wild Card - Good Neighbor, Bad Neighbor

  • Joan Crawford - Mommie Dearest
  • The Waits Family - Troll 2
  • Mike Roark - Volcano
  • Harry Dalton - Dante's Peak

About Commando (1985) - Movie Information

Sam's Boring Bullshit

Mark L. Lester is making his second, but most likely not last visit, to Stinker Madness from the directors chair. His first film we covered was, of course, Showdown in Little Tokyo. This week's film Commando, is among his most popular, along side the cult classic Class of 1984 and the John Candy vehicle, Armed and Dangerous. Fortunately for us Lester is still turning out stinkers. His most recent effort is 2014's Dragons of Camelot, and it looks like a lot, of bull shit.

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Expendables 3

Expendables 3
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Watch the Whole Trailer!

75 old guys and a handful of "youths" blow some stuff up, make poopy-faces, and break through the 4th wall WAY too many times. We go to the theater and expend $3 for one of the biggest flops of 2014.

So it appears indeed that the team behind EX3 completely walked away from what made the series great. First, it's PG-13. Then instead of giving us old guys that we know and want to see, we are giving a team of young nobodies who's characters are about as kick-ass as warm lemonade. The stunts don't really get going until the last sequence and there's just too much damn CGI in it. Guys go back to what you built your career off - one-liners (that don't break through the 4th wall), crazy action sequences (that are shoot well with good stunts - not just shaking the camera around), and actual action stars (not Kelsey Grammar and Mel Gibson -even though they deliver the best performances in the movie). Still this movie is a total do...in the theater or on DVD when it comes out, NOT by illegally downloading it, you unholy pieces of Simon Cowell shit.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:4-star
Cheesy effects:2-star
Horrendous acting:4-star
Ridiculous stunts:3-star
Gratuitous nudity:0-star
Memorable one-liners:2-star

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