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Prelude to Spookies

Prelude to Spookies
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57 Channels and Monsters On is how we kick off this episode. No Springsteen didn't make it.

Its almost time kids. Just one more day until Halloween. So get a warm cup of pumpkin cider and curl up with a ridiculous podcast and an even more ridiculous movie. It's 1986's Spookies. Apparently it stars a bevvy of kooky monsters attacking a band of idiots. 

Be sure to come back on Oct. 31st as we are releasing our full episode on Saturday instead of Monday.

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Queen of the Damned

Queen of the Damned
Queen of the damned
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Lestat, a vampire, falls in love. That's it. The end. Podcast over. Really that's all that happens in this film. It is truly one of the most uneventful things ever viewed by man. It's a complete snooze fest.

It may seem like important things are going on. But really it is just guys and girls moving incredibly slow (so they look sexy, I guess) and overacting. Or perhaps they are compensating for the huge teeth crammed into the actor's mugs. Speaking of actors...

Aaliyah - She may have dead before this thing was released. That's a bummer. Many tears. That does NOT make her immune to having won an award for terrible acting. She was awful. Most notably her snake dance and her incoherent vamp talk. She's pretty hard to understand but when you did it doesn't matter. 

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Prelude to Queen of the Damned

Prelude to Queen of the Damned
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode


Watch the Trailer!

It's week 2 of our 3 episode Halloween trio of horribleness. This week Aaliyah stars in a sexy vampire movie called Queen of the Damned from 2002. While it avoided the Razzies completely this film was still quite pandered by critics but in the years since has gained a pretty heavy cult following. Is it because its filled with annoying glitter vampires or is there some merits to the shenanigans?

Streaming Do's and Don'tsPrivate School - HBO NowBurial Ground: The Nights of Terror - YoutubeDark Was the Night - NetflixMotel Hell - Amazon & EPIXGood Neighbor, Bad NeighborCasper, the Friendly Ghost - CasperSlimer - GhostbustersThe Wolfman - The WolfmanAbout Queen of the Damned - Movie InformationSam's Boring Bullshit

The film is a loose adaptation of the second and third books of Anne Rice’s The Vampire Chronicles, taking its name from the third novel. Anne Rice is known as a writer of high class, a chief example would be her novel; The Taking of Sleeping Beauty, where sleeping beauty is woken not by a kiss but by a dude humping her comatose body. Which, to get sidetracked, if you haven’t seen Almodivar’s Talk to Her, you should check that out. In 2005, she started a new series entitled: Christ the Lord, it chronicles the early life of Jesus. I just can’t imagine. There is a chance that it is just a gussied up fill in the blanks, there is a larger chance that Jesus walks into the desert and finds so many other young men. She might just turn the desert into a metaphor for an activity that is hot and dry…

Michael Rymer directed this film. His debut film Angel Baby won every award it was put in front of. He seemed to struggle a bit with getting attached to quality projects. Eventually he will be enlisted to direct a pilot miniseries for the sci-fi channel. When I watched the countless hours of extra features in Battlestar Galactica it was evident that Rymer was as key a component as Ronald D. Moore and David Eick. He brought the cinematic element to the show. He would direct key episodes throughout the series run including the premiers and finales.

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Halloween III: Season of the Witch

Halloween III: Season of the Witch
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Tom Atkins stars as a mustache-ride-given hacker doctor detective with the help of a young woman who may or may not be an android to take down a Irish/Californian novelty gift manufacturer who wants to use the powers of Stonehenge to transform millions of children into bugs and snakes. Don't come for Michael Meyers, stay for the endless sea of questions.

The movie is completely silly. The plot of ridiculous and with each moment the viewer is just presented more and more questions. It's like the entire run of Lost or the heads of the Hydra. When you answer one question, five more questions sprout up. Each character's motivations are pretty confusing not to mention who the hell they are. Why is Tom Atkins the detective? Why is he alcoholic? Is the girl a robot the entire time? If so, why does she lead Tom Atkins directly to the Silver Shamrock Corp? Does Silver Shamrock murder children or do they just become bugs and snakes? If its murder, then is it murder by teleporting bugs and snakes into their brains? Just writing these questions make me think of more. We could spend 900 pages in just questions.

Characters come and go without serving much purposes aside from groudy effects. Time and space have no properties (night only last about 2 hours in diagetic time, Santa Mira requires a long drive in a car to reach but is just a short jog if on foot). Dialog seems all too convenient for purposes of laughing at:

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Prelude to Halloween III: Season of the Witch

Prelude to Halloween III: Season of the Witch
Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode


Watch the Trailer!

Brought to you by Silver Shamrock, inventors of such gags as Sticky Toilet Paper and Super Tiny Undies. Get the gags going this Halloween with Silver Shamrock.

It's that time again, kids. Time to enjoy the sweet smells of fall, the colors of the leaves as they fall to the ground, Mom's pumpkin pie and being transformed into bugs and snakes through the powers of Stonehenge. Halloween III: Season of the Witch (yes the one that doesn't have Michael Myers) stops in on Stinker Madness to kick off our three episode series on our favorite spooky films. Be sure to wear your masks!

Be sure to listen after the credits to maybe the longest outtake section we have ever made with Star Wars theories and a new song from Jackie.

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