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2012

2012
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Roland pulls out all the stops in the disaster genre by blowing up the entire planet (sorta). Bad science and bad acting abound in one heck of a production, but does that translate into a good time?

Lets just start by saying this film is way too long. By the 3/4 point even the diehard dumb movie viewer is tired and bored of the "excitement". It just keeps going and going and going. That would be ok if you could possibly be emotionally invested in the characters in anyway. But you just want them all to die.

The acting is awful. Woody Harrelson steals the show with his terrible hippie Art Bell. But he's not alone. John Cusask shows us why he went straight to VOD after this. His Jackson Curtis is about the least likable character in all of film. He's a giant douche who at no point redeems himself. Amanda Peet (who somehow manages to keep her top on) does nothing to thrill us. Danny Glover looks quite confused throughout.

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Prelude to 2012

Prelude to 2012
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Well we exit 2016 with a bang...sorta. We went ahead and re-recorded our previous attempt at 2012, since we bungled the first versions and now in all it's glory we dive into the 2009 film from stinker Hall of Famer, Roland Emmerich in which the world explodes...sorta.

Casual Do's and Don'tsHellbent (1988) - IMDBDemolition High - YouTubeThe Village of the Giants - MST3K on YouTube OR standard versionThe Wild Card - Pop Quiz Hotshot (2012 Edition)A Judy Garland dress which sold for $302,000 in 2012 was worn in which movie? The Wizard of OzWhat is the year 2012 in Roman numerals? MMXIIWho became the oldest actor to win an Oscar in 2012? Christopher PlummerWhat member of the Monkees died in 2012? Davy JonesName the devastating mid/N American hurricane of Oct 2012? SandyWhat film released in 2012 went on to win Oscar gold? ArgoRazzie winner? Twilight 4About 2012 (2009) - Movie InformationSam's Boring Bullshit

2012 released in 2009 as it would have been far too late otherwise. By the way, we are all currently dead. We collectively did not heed the words of Nostra-Dumb-Ass, nor did we individually learn to fly limousines; for shame. Roland Emerich tried to tell us in 2009, but we didn’t listen.  He also tried to tell us about magical gateways to the stars, and how great James Spader’s hair used to be. He also wants us to listen to what 50’Cent has to say, as the main character, Jackson Curtis, is names sort of backwards after the rapper. Upon writing this I realized I know really nothing about Curtis Jackson or know any of his songs, but with titles like: “I Get Money”, “I Get In” and “OK, You’re Right”, he probably isn’t wrong?

Emerich stated in an interview that this would be his last disaster movie, it wasn’t, not by a long shot.  I don’t know what he thought he was going to do? Make movie about horses? Heavy drama? – Coming this spring; An Inconsequential Day in March starring John Hurt and Jane Seymour, bring a pillow… - I am not against Emerich making more personal projects but he needs to keep blowing up landmarks until the ride his ass out of town on a rail.

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Independence Day: Resurgence

Independence Day: Resurgence
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ID4:2 comes to a Bad Movie Field Trip on the show this week. Will it be stupid fun enough to get into that elusive Best Bad Movie category for the 2016 SMABFAs? Can it at least be better than that damn Jupiter Ascending?

Well the critics aren't happy. They call it bloated, lazy, and tedious. Well we have good things to say and bad things to say but these words do not come into the fray at all. 

ID4:2 has some real strengths for what it is trying to accomplish, but most notably it has one of the crappiest movie studios (FOX) sticking their damn fingers into a director's vision. The worst parts of this film are the extra action sequences that have NOTHING to do with the story most particularly the moon sequence with Liam Hemsworth's character introduction. This scene is the first bit of "action" and it stinks. It's completely not "Emerrichian" and is obviously put in there to entice the audience into a sense of excitement early on and to show that Liam's guy is kick ass. However, it falls completely short of accomplishing that with the following point - when you leave the theater ask yourself, "What was any character's name in that movie?" The silence you will hear is indicative of how little anyone gives a crap about the characters. You go to these things to see "Welcome to Earth!" (punch) stupidity and aliens getting outwitted by man. Instead you are started with an action sequence that is not exciting nor worth bothering with. It also cost $10 million dollars..for one sequence that is the worst part of the film. Spend the money elsewhere! Or don't! Save the cash so you can profit and we can get another movie. Idiots...

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