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The Lawnmower Man

lawnmower-man
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Once again we try to "go into the internet" by revisiting a film from the early 90's where people didn't understand how computers worked. This one delivered to us by stinker-staples Jeff Fahey and Pierce Brosnan in this NOT Stephen King adaptation.

The Lawnmower Man when it came out was beloved and believed to be a great film by 12-year-olds. It no longer holds that majesty. This movie stinks. From all angles, most notably the special-effects and its dubious knowledge of how servers work. But notably as well is the acting from Jeff, Pierce and Dean Norris (of Breaking Bad fame and one hell of a Twitter follow).

The plot (as usual with Stephen King related business) is pretty all over the place and doesn't make any sense. Toss in that it's not based on Stephen King's work at all and you've got people just trying to say a thousand different things and trying to achieve a thousand different film motifs. You've got cybernetic super-chimp Universal Soldiers, playing God with science, bullies, omnipotence, super-powers, magic just being a form of science, corporate greed, and war for profit. All those items get bungled together with the completely dumb story-telling. So nice try guys.

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Starship Troopers

Starship Troopers
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Paul Verhoeven had a vision for a caricature of a Fascist future society and totally nails it in the guise of a silly space battle movie. Toss in a 3 way love story with incredibly strong and easy to care for characters, exceptional acting and you've got one of hell of a good movie.

Why then is this movie on Stinker Madness? Well because in 1997 the critics and Sam and Justin made a single mistake; they didn't get this movie. The world wasn't ready for Starship Troopers. We were expecting a film adaptation of the Robert Heinlein science fiction novel of the same title. We weren't expecting a high school football game with backflips. We weren't expecting children smashing beetles and mothers laughing maniacally at it. We weren't expecting Robocop and Total Recall with a serious story and moral statement. So it was panned by critics. Thus making it a "bad movie". But it truly is a masterpiece in pop culture.

We applaud Verhoeven's use of exposition in the clever guise of the "Would you like to know more?" Internet commercials. The entire universe is setup in these quick interjections and in a fast paced and entertaining manner, while some of the funnest moments come in these. The heaviest statements about this world take place in these and are hilarious. The children fighting over the guns and military passing out huge bullets, "The only good bug, is a dead bug", and the aforementioned children smashing beetles under foot.

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Prelude to Starship Troopers

Prelude to Starship Troopers
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With this episode of the famed Stinker Madness Podcast we prepare for 1997's Starship Troopers from master of stuff, Paul Verhoeven. Despite having a solid IMDB user rating, the critics panned it. Does Johnny Rico get better with age? Can Denise Richards be more than just walking boobs? IS the only good bug a dead bug?

Streaming Do's and Don'tsThe Runner - NetflixPop Quiz, Hot Shot? - How do they do drugs in film?Sniffing cocaine - powdered lactoseHeroin cooking - sugar & baking sodaSmoking weed - Wizard Weed - weed with no THC. Same things cops use when they go undercover.Crack rocks - Rock candy OR glue and baking sodaNeedle injections - prosthetic arms, trick needles, OR for budget movies - stunt guy just frickin' does it.The Great Superpower DebateFace freezing power - 2.5/10About Starship Troopers - Movie InformationSam's Boring Bullshit

My confused relationship with this film begins in 1997 when I saw it at the theater. It was as any of my confused relationships have gone. I take a girl out to tacos and then afterwards there is that “should I ask her to ice cream even though I am not that into her” moment. I don’t ask and two years later I find out she was allergic to tacos and she just wanted to tug me off in her Camaro. That is when I realize, holy shit, I didn’t get what was going on there, I would have totally got my wiener pulled in the back of an American classic, alas that ship had sailed and the tug boat headed down the stream to tow a different load into the bay of soiled upholstery. That is about what happened with me and this movie. When it came out I thought it was okay but kind of weird, totally didn’t get it. I read the novel about 5 months after seeing the film and would, for the next five years or so, hold Starship Troopers as the gold standard for how to fuck up a novel.

Edward Neumeier wrote a script that was called Bug Hunt on Outpost Nine. After the similarities between it and the Heinlein novel were noticed it was then adjusted to be an adaptation of sorts. Verhoeven admittedly was unable to read more than a couple of chapters of the book, as it made him bored and depressed, his opinion being that it was far to right wing. Wherever Neumeier started and however close he was pushed to the novel, Verhoeven had his own plan on the movie he wanted to make. I find it odd as I think he is arguing the same points as Heinlein, just overtly and in a satirical voice, where as Heinlein told the story with such a subversive matter of fact tone that some have called the novel fascist intellectual pornography. I thought it was a real page turner.

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Prelude to Sssssss

Prelude to Sssssss
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This week Justin rolls the dice on maybe the worst movie title of all time. Seriously, try to tell your friends your watching Sssssss and listen how it comes out of your mouth. Onomatopoeia should never be used in film titles. But we think its about snake men...

Streaming Do's and Don'tsMoonraker - Hulu PlusThe Living Daylights - Hulu PlusTomorrow Never Dies - Hulu PlusThe Greatest Super Power Debate

Fish Man - 6.5 stars

About Sssssss - Movie InformationSam's Boring Bullshit

7 “S”s is sssssuposed to be pronounced sssssss but thatssss ssssstupid. The poster has a woman’s mouth with a tiny cobra in it, which is also stupid. The only thing stupider than a movie about killer snakes is a movie about killer snake mans… man. That’s what this movie is about; killer snake mans. 

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Yor: The Hunter from the Future

Yor: The Hunter from the Future
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Yor does not come from the future. He comes from over there. Sorry for the spoiler. He is still awesome. The ladies love him, the men fear him and Yor believes himself to be the most rad dude of all time and he might be right.

Yor is one of those wacky Italian movies that believes to be a good idea with a good story but is just a mess of silly business. Yor bounces smugly from scene to scene veritably stating directly to the audience, "Hey, did you know I'm awesome? Cause I am." His motivations aren't clear, his actions are bonkers, and his idiom is dubious. He's great. He even has his own awesome theme song (Yor's World) that rivals "Do You Want to Be a Hero" from Biggles: Adventure in Time and "Stargrove" from Never Too Young To Die.

Yor and his ladies...we truly don't even need a plot for Yor because we'd be happy just watching Yor walk around, meet a lady, fight some dudes or monsters, bang said lady, then walk around, meet another lady who makes lady #1 quite jealous, lady fight, then lady dies and the process repeats. Now that I think about it that's pretty much the whole film except the last 20 minutes. The idea of jealous ladies defending other ladies from Yor's wiles in a barbarian movie is so silly and will lead to many a good laughs.

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Prelude to Yor: The Hunter from the Future

Prelude to Yor: The Hunter from the Future
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For years, Sam has been praising Yor: The Hunter from the Future and now its finally time to share it's hunky goodness with the rest of the world. Let the scantily clad ladies fill our eyeballs. Plus we don't talk about Star Wars OR Christmas!

Streaming Do's and Don'tsElectric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films - NetflixCannonball Run II - Hulu PlusTimeline - Netflix36th Chamber of Shaolin - NetflixThe Great Superpower Debate

The Super Penis

About American Kickboxer 2 - Movie InformationSam's Boring Bullshit

Yor was directed by Antonio Margheriti, who, for his various films financed in the US, would adopt the pseudonym Anthony M. Dawson. Apparently the closest translation of Margheriti was daisies and he was advised that no one wanted to watch a movie that was directed by Tony Daisies, unless that movie involved penises in other men’s butts. That last part was me filling in the blanks. Margheriti was already a stalwart veteran of budget films. In 1965 executives at MGM saw Assignment Outer Space and Battle of the Worlds, two of the first Italian space movies, and immediately gave him a four film deal. He would complete those four films in three months. They are known as The Gamma One Series, though not directly related. The first film in the series, Wild Wild Planet is one of my future picks. He would behave similarly in this instance, Columbia would finance this film but he made a four part miniseries totaling 286 minutes with the shoe string budget that was originally allotted for a single film. He would go ahead and carve it down and give Columbia what they wanted, but with the longer cut he was able to co-opt it for Italian television. 

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Dreamcatcher

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Four buddies with superpowers given to them by an alien that may or may not be mentally handicapped, have to team up to stop poop monsters from making people get icky tummies. Really, that's the movie. Wow....

In our first 2 parter ever, we break down 2003's Dreamcatcher. This movie is insanity. There is just about everything you want in a bad movie in this one. It is a scosh too long but this one's got it all with the combination of the stupid plot, the bad acting, the cheesy movie monster (it comes out butts), the dubiousness of Morgan Freeman and Tom Sizemore's characters, and Dudditts. Wow, Duddits. We love you, Duddits.

The primary mistake this movie makes is poop. Really really. The film is meant to be frightening. The elements in concept are horrific. Being killed by something that is too big to be inside you coming out of your butt is possibly one of the worst ways to go. The Spanish Inquisition had nicer ways of killing people. Josef Mengele would have loved to have a bunch of shit weasels at his disposal. However, this is not scary in Dreamcatcher, it's hilarious. By the time the "horror" starts in this film, you've been giggling about farts and poop for ten minutes. So it's pretty tough to be scared.

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Prelude to Dreamcatcher

Prelude to Dreamcatcher
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Duddits is the man of the week as we go back to one of the most surprisingly bad (we mean bad) blockbusters of all time. It's 2003's Stephen King based Dreamcatcher starring every single actor ever!

I gotta admit, whomever cut that trailer did an epic job of polishing a turd. It really looks like a good movie. Way to mask all the poop monster stuff!

Streaming Do's and Don'ts

Well we didn't watch any streaming movies. Stupid Xmas planning. 

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Biggles: Adventures in Time

Biggles: Adventures in Time
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Some guy who is NOT named Biggle's has ONE adventure in just ONE time. So with an inaccurate title, we travel back and forth to 1917 to defeat the Nazi's secret sound weapon that makes things too hot. Don't ask too many questions.

Biggle's on paper sounds like a missed gem from our youth. The idea of a man named Biggle's traveling through time and having hijinx sounds like it would become your favorite movie when you're 12. Apparently the books are exactly that. But this movie is not. Biggle's is not the protagonist. It's a guy named Jim Ferguson who somehow gets transported back and forth from the present to 1917. So even he doesn't have "Adventures in Time" He just goes back to ONE time. So if you are looking for a sillier Bill and Ted's, you're not going to get it.

There is some good humor sporadically with most of the yucks coming from Ferguson and his awkwardness when he appears in 1917 without any warning of the time jump. There are also a couple incredible stunts especially with the helicopter but the quality of the stunts and jokes are mired by the directing/editing. The cuts make the stunts vague as to what took place and how the stuntmen put their lives on the line. The jokes are also poorly timed and most go unnoticed by far too much dialog immediately following the joke. Some might call them subtle but in a film where everything else is so overt and with such a crappy story you probably want to highlight the humor a little more.

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Journey to the Far Side of the Sun

Journey to the Far Side of the Sun
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Imagine yourself in a world where everything that was on the left is now on the right and vice versa. What would you do? WHAT WOULD YOU DO?!?!

So this movie features some incredible model work from the Andersons. But thats where the awesome starts. Everything takes an incredibly long time to setup and once the whole plot happens (at 3/4 of the movie) you are left with a deep black hole where your expectations used to be. The whole movie plays out like a way too long episode of Twilight Zone and should have been as such.

Also nice work on all promotional posters AND trailers for this film ruin the plot twist. Insert Slow Clap here.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:Cheesy effects:Horrendous acting:Laugh-out-loud-ability:Ridiculous stunts:Gratuitous nudity:Memorable one-liners:

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Prelude to The Journey to the Far Side of the Sun

Prelude to The Journey to the Far Side of the Sun
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Presented by Newton Goo. The only solution for all your space travel rashes, conditions, and infections!

Sam takes us to space again as we get ready for the model work masterpiece from the Andersons. In honor of our 50th episode we recap our favorite movies that we've done episodes for (Beastmaster gets a vote from all three of us).

Plus Streaming Dos and Don'ts, movie trivia and in depth info about the movie forthcoming. Get some.

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Prelude to Damnation Alley

Prelude to Damnation Alley






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Brought to you by Nuke Juice, the only energy drink for a nuclear wasteland traveler.

We pack up and ride in our Landmaster as we prepare for a post-apocalyptic world in Damnation Alley. Sam shares his usual keen info on the movie, Jackie throws some more bad movie trivia your way and we all review our Netflix and Amazon streaming movies for the week.

We first announce our 12 Days of Bad Christmas Movies Podcrawl/VideoCrawl.  Imagine 4 shows, 3 movies each during each week leading up to Christmas. Let us know if you'd like to be involved by emailing This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. OR follow on Twitter by following @StinkerMadness or #12daysofbadxmasmovies.

Netflix Do's and Don'tsMovie NameSummaryIMDBNetflixAmazonJustinJackieSamTotalThe Devil's 8

A federal agent rounds up eight convicts to help fight a vicious moonshine gang.

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