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In our FINAL Prelude episode (that's right, you heard it), we pull out all the stops for Cutthroat Island. It's known to be one of the biggest flops of cinema history and a career-ender for everyone involved except for the director who is at fault more than anyone.The Wild Card from Justin - Pop Quiz, Hotshot (Pirate Edition)Q. Pirates pierced their ears, not to look cool. Why?A. Believed precious gems in their ears improved one's eyesight.Q. Why did pirates wear eye patches?A. To always have one eye adjusted to darkness to fight below deck in darkQ. Women pirates! Name one.A. Anne Bonny stole the REvenge with Jack Rackham and pirated until it was captured. Mary Read partnered with Anne Bonny Sayyida al Hurra ruled mediterreanean in early 1500s Jeanne-Louise de Belleville led three black with red sail ships called the BLack Fleet taking revenge against King Philip VI for killing her husband. Ching Shih captured by pirates in 1801, then married their captain. When he died she took over the fleet of over 300 junks and 40,000 men. Chinese navy lost 63 ships to them.Q. What was a pirates most popular form of crew punishment?A. Keelhauling - getting tied to the ship and dragged under, getting your skin torn off AND/OR drowning. Whhheeeee!!!Q. Describe the most deadliest of pirate flags?A. Red background with an hourglass on it. Meant give no quarter.The Wild Card from Sam - The Great Superpower DebateThe Magneto of Food or Mind Chef - 7/10 stars (with a caveat of Jackie just being grumpy, this is a 10/10 if there ever was one)The Wild Card from Jackie - Would You Rather?Be stabbed the Last Unicorn or eaten by Clifford the Big Red DogDrowning via Loch Ness Monster or Drawn and Quartered by SasquatchNot worth going over.....About Cutthroat Island - Movie InformationSam's Boring Bullshit
When it comes to pirate movies, I like my swashbuckling hot and my pirates and pirate ladies hotter. People who wear leather and don’t take baths, covered in sea salt and bird shit. Wait that’s real pirates, who were most certainly gross. Movie pirates though, they have the hots all over. Jon Depp, Orlando Bloom, Matthew Modine… Wait Modine? Really? Do you want a pirate or a middle aged father who doesn’t understand his teenagers?
How exactly does this casting faux pas come about? Well, Tom Cruise, Keanu Reeves, Liam Neeson, Jeff Bridges, Ralph Fiennes, Charlie Sheen, Michael Keaton, Tim Robbins, Daniel Day Lewis and Gabriel Byrne all said no. Michael Douglas said yes, but his list of demands read like a Tolstoy novel so they brought in Modine. This is, to me anyway, a clear Christopher Lambert situation. Sure he can’t see a fucking thing, he cares too much and I am willing to bet that he is a close talker, but I would believe he was a pirate. You put pirate clothes on Modine and you have a middle school teacher on Halloween.