Watch the Trailer!
Gunhed is the kind of movie that makes you desperately want to love it. It has enormous robots, giant explosions, lasers everywhere, fantastic miniature work, and some genuinely impressive production design. Unfortunately, it also seems to have been edited by someone who assumed the audience had come to see a completely different movie. The result is a visually spectacular but narratively incoherent mess that frequently feels like you're watching the highlights of a much longer film.
The miniature work is easily the star of the show. The sets have a wonderfully grimy, industrial, post-apocalyptic look, and Gunhed puts a surprising amount of effort into making its futuristic world feel tangible. When the robots start stomping around and the lasers start flying, there's plenty to enjoy. This is the sort of practical-effects-heavy spectacle that makes you appreciate how much work went into building all of this stuff, even when the story surrounding it leaves you scratching your head.
Unfortunately, almost everything involving the actual plot is considerably less impressive. Characters speak in vague, cryptic dialogue, scenes seem to happen without much explanation, and the action frequently lacks any sense of spatial or narrative continuity. People run from one place to another, discover things, fight things, and then apparently forget what just happened. It's difficult to tell whether the movie is intentionally mysterious or simply assumes that explaining anything would ruin the surprise. After a while, trying to figure out what's going on becomes less intriguing and more of a chore.
And then there are the two kids, who somehow manage to make the experience even more exhausting. They're loud, irritating, and seemingly designed to test the viewer's patience at precisely the moments when the movie is already struggling to maintain momentum. Gunhed isn't a terrible movie so much as a frustrating one: there's clearly a lot of talent and effort on display, but it's buried beneath a story that's nearly impossible to follow. The production design, miniatures, robots, lasers, and explosions make it worth seeing for the bad-movie enthusiast, but there's just not enough coherent movie underneath all that spectacle to make it genuinely fun. A lukewarm recommendation for effects fans, and a pretty hard pass for everyone else.
Individual Ratings:
Over the top action:
Cheesy effects:
Horrendous acting:
Laugh-out-loud-ability:
Ridiculous stunts:
Gratuitous nudity:
Memorable one-liners:
Nonsensical Plot:
Riffability:
Overall Ratings:
Good Movie Quality:
Bad Movie Quality: