the-unbearable-weight-of-massive-talent
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Watch the Trailer!

Nic Cage plays Nick Cage and that's about all the trailer tells you about this. Its so much more than you think it is.

If ogres are like onions, UWOMT is the state fair winner of onions stuffed inside of the Earth's core. Even a hardcore Nic Cage fan (hello!) will have to watch this three or four times to peel away each layer of self awareness and subtle statements and meta, meta, meta. Its too deep to even get into without ruining it in a silly blog review. Yet, somehow it breaks all the rules of a layered film as its incredibly accessible to the masses. It shouldn't work as it has something for everyone including the film snobs and the casual popcorn eater and yet says directly in the dialogue that a movie such as that cannot work. Its like if Salvador Dali painted naked ladies holding American flags atop tanks that are shooting at Martian invaders.

Nic is great. I mean really truly great. Fantastic. Pedro Pascal is great. Everyone is great. Whatever, stop reading this. Just go watch this movie. You don't have to be a Cage nut (it helps) to enjoy it, have it be worth your time and investment. You'll thank yourself. Just go watch it, dammit. 

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:4-star
Cheesy effects:0-star
Horrendous acting:0-star
Laugh-out-loud-ability:4-star
Ridiculous stunts:3-star
Gratuitous nudity:0-star
Memorable one-liners:3-star
Nonsensical Plot:2-star

Riffability:1-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 8-star
Bad Movie Quality:8-star