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The Midnight Man

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A couple ding-dongs find a box with some stuff in it, so their only choice is to summon a crappy version of Slender Man and have him chase them around until 3:33am. Meanwhile you've got Grandma upstairs complaining about the trouble-makers in Selma, absolutely no reward if you beat the game, and a villain with dubious intentions. Hope you all like lengthy rules!

Soooo many rules! The length of the rules of summoning Midnight Man need to have a team of professional editors go through them. You might run out of ink in your printer. BUT there's a myriad of holes within them. For instance, Midnight Man will leave you alone after 3:33am. Is that GST? What time measurement system is he going by? Will a sundial work? Or can you just use your cell-phone? What about time-zones? What happens if someone else summons Midnight Man in Italy and Chicago? What's he do when he's NOT summoned?

I mean the level of bullcrap is seriously leaps and bounds past Slender Man (which is about a 9 on the bullcrap scale).

Aside from that the acting is garbage, the pacing is impossibly slow, the "big scares" are eyeball roll worthy, the characters are dubious (See "Doctor's Apprentice") and the Midnight Man is pretty lame from a design standpoint. There's NOTHING here.

We can't think of one group of people to recommend this to at all. This is an avoid at all cost, POS.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:1-star
Cheesy effects:1-star
Horrendous acting:4-star
Ridiculous stunts:0-star
Gratuitous nudity:0-star
Memorable one-liners:1-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 3-star
Bad Movie Quality:3-star

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Saturday, 24 February 2024

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