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The Flintstones

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Good ol' Fred Flintstone gets caught up in a criminal conspiracy to defraud Slate Co's investors and embezzle millions of shells all while risking the lives of his family and destroying his neighbor and best friend's career, home, family and his dignity. Whatta guy!

From the get-go you know something is wrong here. Fred is just a big of piece of toxic garbage. Yes, I know the character was based off Jackie Gleason in the Honeymooners but it is a real experience to go back and watch what a huge POS he was. The guy's entire existence is centered around being "the tough guy" that everyone loves and has only one motivation - being liked and admired. And that's where the movie takes us. Its such a far cry from Homer Simpson whose real sin is being a lazy moron. Inside and past the undigested donuts is a true golden heart. A loving father and faithful husband. But that ain't Fred... at least not until he has an epiphany while on the end of a hangman's noose (yup, you read that right). You might see something similar in other family movies where the guy goes from a great dude to being corrupted by money only to be redeemed in the end. Nope, not our Fred. He's always been a chauvinistic lay-about, with a fragile little ego that makes him ripe for storming the capital. Fred Flintstone is a bad person throughout this whole experience.

Outside of Fred's weakness, the production of this film is second to none. From the casting to the design, costumes to effects (remember its 1994) its a spectacle to the eye of adapting such a unique universe from cells to celluloid. Despite how unfaithful the writing is to the original series, the world itself is about as Bedrockyen as you could do with twice the budget and the effects teams from Pinewood and their fancy computers today. It really is an achievement in production design. BUT.....

I just can't stand it. I despise and loathe this movie. Not because there's really anything terrible wrong with it. Its a fine family comedy. I just absolutely can't stand family comedies. Maybe my soul is black like Fred's and I only want to drink too much and fall asleep in my yard. Whatever it is makes me want to take everything about this movie, collect it in a bag with the nukes of the world and toss it all into the sun.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:2-star
Cheesy effects:2-star
Horrendous acting:2-star
Ridiculous stunts:1-star
Gratuitous nudity:0-star
Memorable one-liners:0-star
Nonsensical Plot:2-star


Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 5-star
Bad Movie Quality:5-star

Gone in 60 Seconds (1974)

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Saturday, 24 February 2024

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