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The Apple

The Apple
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In the year 1994, disco has become such a force in culture that record producers can rule the government forcing the citizens of Earth to face prison time and social rejection if they are not down with "BIM"...we still aren't sure what BIM is but apparently you must be down with it. However, we are not.

This movie stinks! Wow is this not how you make a movie and its such a mess that it becomes a spectacle. Normally, movies that predict the future are pretty off in their predictions of how we live but this one is WAAAAYYYY off. I don't remember glam in 1994's music. Maybe I misses something but I don't remember flannel having alot of glitter on it. But this film just can't believe that disco and "The Bay City Rollers" weren't going to rule music.

When compared to similar musical films of 1980, this is maybe the worst musical of all time. Note I'm not saying worse as a movie than Xanadu or Can't Stop the Music, but worse as a musical. The difference is that the music in this film is awful. Its a musical and the music is garbage. The dancing is preposterous. All of the other failings of this film take a back seat to how bad the music is.

Then there's the delivery of things we are supposed to understand...such as the plot of the movie or the words to the songs or what the hell BIM is. The film may or may not be a parallel of the Old Testament but the references are so far off of the Bible that you are left scratching your head about the entire reference.

However, the film is such a total disaster that there is a level of fun to it. The other primary bonus is that the film is short. You're not stuck in misery for way too long. There is only a few moments of pain that you must suffer from such as songs that run on too long and are crap to get to all of the good stuff. Without spoilers the ending is well worth the crappy parts to get to. Its not a great bad movie but its good enough for a viewing.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:1-star
Cheesy effects:3-star
Horrendous acting:2-star
Ridiculous stunts:0-star
Gratuitous nudity:1-star
Memorable one-liners:2-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 3-star
Bad Movie Quality:6-star

Prelude to Sssssss
Prelude to The Apple

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Monday, 26 February 2024

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