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Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity

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A guy named Zed brings guests to his planet so he can chase them to a resting log and then mount their dome on his wall. Free slave bikinis and expensive lingerie for attendees though.

Oh boy, where do I even begin with "Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity"? This movie is a wild and bizarre ride from start to finish, and I mean that in the best way possible. From the cheesy special effects to the over-the-top acting, this sci-fi adventure flick is a non-stop riff ride that will keep you laughing and entertained the whole way through.

Now, I know what you might be thinking: "But Stinker Madness, isn't this movie just a cheap knockoff of 'The Most Dangerous Game'?" And to that, I say, yes, it definitely is. But it's a cheap knockoff with heart, damn it. The two lead actresses, Elizabeth Kaitan and Cindy Beal, fully commit to their roles as two stranded space adventurers who are forced to fight for their lives against a lusty hunty madman who likes to hang heads...up. Their chemistry is dripping with cheesy deliveries, and their performances are so corny that you can't help but root for them.

And let's not forget about the villain of the piece, Zed, played by Don Scribner. His creepy performance as "some dude who has a tractor-beam castle" definitely adds to the corn, and his scenes with the "slave girls" are dubious and oddly philosophical. I mean, who doesn't love a good villain monologue about what man and women's base natures are while wearing slave bikinis?

In fact, "Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity" was so bikini-laden that it even was referenced as part of an amendment of the Cable Television Consumer Protection and Competition Act of 1992, which was introduced by Senator Jesse Helms to crack down on sexually explicit content on cable TV. Why on Zed's Green Earth would a US Senator be talking about this very mild flesh film is beyond me. Well it was beyond infinity for Helms too as the amendment was struck down as ludicriously stupid and a violation of the First Amendment. Go back to....uh...well I guess we are still fighting these battles...

"Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity" is a hilarious, campy, and surprisingly fun sci-fi adventure that is sure to entertain even the most jaded moviegoer. So if you're in the mood for some old-school B-movie fun, give this one a watch.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:2-star
Cheesy effects:3-star
Horrendous acting:4-star
Ridiculous stunts:1-star
Gratuitous nudity:3-star
Memorable one-liners:2-star
Nonsensical Plot:4-star


Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 3-star
Bad Movie Quality:7-star

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Saturday, 24 February 2024

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