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Santa's Summer House

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David DeCouteau gives us a clinic on how to make a terrible movie in 2 days. Yeah it stinks, but hey! Two days! Suck it, Spielberg!

Gary Daniels, Cynthia Rothrock, Kathy Long and Daniel Bernhardt give us the least action packed movie of all time. Yes you read that right. There is a total count of 0 spin kicks. 0 double axe handles. 0 flying leap kicks to the tummy. Literally there is 0 action. You pulled a big one on us David, you got us. LOL. Haha. We've all had a good laugh now, but so can you seriously add a Special Edition which involves Gary Daniels sweeping Chris Mitchum's legs and Cynthia Rothrock giving Daniel Bernhardt a back breaker over the couch while Kathy Long does a flying kick through a window - shattering Andy's (or Justin Bieber?) clavicle? 

Two of our podcasters thought this movie was boring and I don't get it. I loved this movie. It's arguably the best riffing movie we've ever seen. I mean imagine Birdemic bad but doesn't piss you off and still manages to capture the true meaning of Christmas - maybe more than Santa With Muscles and I Believe in Santa Claus. I find it to be a true stinker masterpiece. 

Sure, I can see your argument that we have to suffer through 10 minutes and 23 seconds of ad-lib croquet. Sure, there's a "fog" that doesn't exist. Sure, we've got a bit of three dudes in a hot tub. Yet, I find it an amazing Christmas experience and I hope you can too.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:0-star
Cheesy effects:3-star
Horrendous acting:4-star
Ridiculous stunts:0-star
Gratuitous nudity:0-star
Memorable one-liners:0-star
Nonsensical Plot:4-star


Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 2-star
Bad Movie Quality:7-star

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Thursday, 22 February 2024

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