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Road House

Road House
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Dalton gets brought into make a bar even less fun, get paid way too much, prevent alcohol from being served and then rip everyone's throats out. It's the bad movie classic Road House, 5 time Razzie nominee starring Patrick Swayze and Sam Elliot.

This is one of the most viewed and loved bad movies of all time and there's a reason it's so popular. It's ridiculous. It's one hell of a good time. The action is over the top, the dialogue is hilarious, the acting is a atrocious and the plot of completely stupid. It's fantastic. There's so many problems with the story but I'll try to name just a couple:

  • Ben Gazara plays a villain (Brad Wesley) who seems to have built a nice town as head of the Chamber of Commerce, but suddenly gains a real interest in being a bad guy once Dalton comes to town and decides to blow up the entire town. Huh?
  • Dalton gets paid a $5000 hiring bonus and then $500/night. Which means if Dalton works at the Double Deuce for just 1 month, he'll make $17,500 dollars. Dalton may be a millionaire. That's a TON of money in 1988 and I'm pretty sure that the Double Deuce didn't make that much money in a fiscal quarter.
  • Where are the friggin cops? Its implied that they are paid off but there is really only so much a dirty cop can hide. There's eyeballs every night on the floor of the bar and probably a corpse or two a month.
  • Where are the women in the film thinking they are going? They are all dressed like they are going to a club in Miami or LA, but instead they are just going to a shit hole with eyeballs on the floor every night.
  • Wayde (Sam Elliot) plays the "best" bouncer in the world (cause that's a thing) yet Wayde works at a run down strip club. If he's the best he should be head of security at a casino in Vegas or Atlantic City. He is definitely not the best bouncer in the world.
  • No one seems to have a clue how insurance works. Wesley blows up an auto parts store and then runs a car dealership over with Bigfoot and then splodes a guy's house so they decide to kill him. No! Just call your insurance company, get a check and then move.

Road House is an epic in "tough guy" business. Every character is super tough (but not as tough as Dalton, of course) and all of the women are damsels that have one motivation in life; get your boobs out. If you get offended by some pretty one dimensional female characters you might want to avoid this one. But if you can get past how offensive this film is, you're in for a great ride. It is one of those rare films that never takes its foot off the gas pedal. It's a really dumb gas pedal but that thing is pegged for 90 minutes. Great great great time!

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:4-star
Cheesy effects:1-star
Horrendous acting:3-star
Ridiculous stunts:3-star
Gratuitous nudity:4-star
Memorable one-liners:5-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 4-star
Bad Movie Quality:8-star

Top 10 Bad Movie Staples We All Love
Prelude to Road House

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Sunday, 25 February 2024

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