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Jem and the Holograms

Jem and the Holograms
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In October of 2015, Jem and the Holograms was released into US theaters with much fanfare, and by fanfare I mean people asking "They remade Jem? Well that was dumb..." and then one week later it was nowhere to be found, instantly making it a SMABFA contender. Whose idea was this anyways?

Jem is a moral tale for females of the Millenial generation. So think of the most annoying thing in the world. Correct, its a teenage girl from that generation. So that's not good. However, the moral really is a good one; that girls shouldn't be who society dictates they should be, they should be themselves and revel in their own strengths and weaknesses. It's a great moral and we at Stinker Madness fully support it.

The problem with Jem is the moral gets completely lost in the presentation. Sure, the plot is stupid. Sure, acting is not so good. Sure, the hunky boy is a total douche with the obligatory shirtless scene. These problems can be managed. The problem with Jem is the constant use of YouTube videos of other real life teenagers "practicing" music intercut into dialogue and montages. They are a hideous distraction and painfully annoying. Just what this film needs, more Internetting....blech.

There are a bevvy of other problems with the film but really all pale in comparison to the annoying YouTubeing. I just can't spend anytime talking about the blunders because they just get buried next to the hammer in the face of how great Millenials are. But there's plenty. Talk about them amongst your self. Or don't because they are really not worth it.

The only possible way that Jem can be enjoyed is with a sizable group of riffers. The film's pacing and stupidity is pretty conductive to lampooning the events on-screen. The dialogue is set up in such non-specifics that lend a bevvy jokes....if you're with the right people. Do not watch this film by yourself under any circumstances. Way to F up a good moral that young girls actually need to hear more. Assholes...

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:0-star
Cheesy effects:0-star
Horrendous acting:2-star
Ridiculous stunts:0-star
Gratuitous nudity:0-star
Memorable one-liners:0-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 3-star
Bad Movie Quality:4-star

2015 SMABFA Governor's Breakfast
Prelude to Jem and the Holograms

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Sunday, 25 February 2024

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