Invasion USA

Sam, Jackie and Justin delve into the intense neo-political sub-tones of Invasion USA...and all the Spolsions. Chuck Norris wears a curly mullet and tells you, "It's time to die" unless he doesn't also have a rocket launcher. BOOM!

So the fun thing about Invasion USA is Chuck Norris' impenetrable calmness. No matter what happens on screen, he's completely deadpan throughout and never raises his voice above a whisper ("Time to die, Rostov"). It's an achievement in non-excitement. Just look at the movie poster and imagine Chuck doing insane things with that expression on his face all the way.

The plot of this film is pretty ridiculous as well. There's some plan by an unknown group of assorted bad guys who appear to be from all over the world. It's affirmative action bad guy group as there's Russians, Cubans, Middle Eastern guys, and probably some Madagascans in there as well. Sam believes that they are mercenaries from all over and are only in it for the money. We still aren't sure what "it" is that they are in for, but it appears to be just invading the suburbs of Florida. Maybe it's just for general terror but then, how do you pay the mercenaries?

As is tradition, with most Chuck Norris movies the fun lies in the action and Chuck delivering one-liners. Chuck has the power of plot convenience as he knows where the bad guys are about to cause their unique bad-guylery and springs into action from whatever location looks the most bad-ass. Sometimes he jumps on them from on top of 3 stories buildings or from his bitchin' 4x4. He also has unlimited ammo, of course.

Unfortunately, the movie has so many bullet flying sequences of guys just standing and shooting at each other that by the end you're a little tired of it. The end sequence would work in just about any other movie but by the time you get to it, you're starting to fade on the action. It's still a really great time with Chuck in full on Chuck-mode of butt-kicking. The acting is wooden in a fun way and the script is pretty funny for action cliches. It just suffers from coming out the gates at a 9 and then just hovering around the same point for the rest of the movie. There's no "ramping it up" from one scene to the next.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:
Cheesy effects:
Horrendous acting:
Laugh-out-loud-ability:
Ridiculous stunts:
Gratuitous nudity:
Memorable one-liners:

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality:
Bad Movie Quality: