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I Know Who Killed Me

I Know Who Killed Me
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LL stars in her Razzie winning opus/masterpiece of terrible cinema, twice! It's the story of a mixed up teen and her mixed up teen doppelganger who suffer from "non-religious stigmata" and death by not finishing piano training. It may be the least frightening horror movie ever made!

Lindsey Lohan wows us in the film. She may not have been aware she was in movie for about half of the film. She appears to be either on ludes or vodka quite frequently. You can see her tune out of being there when not giving lines and sorta just stares at the wall. Her "stripping" is awful in that she doesn't actually strip. Oh she dances then? No she doesn't do that either. She just sorta makes a poopy face and slithers around the pole. Wow. I've never stripper danced before but I'm pretty sure I could have done a better job.

Her "killer" is portrayed as a serial killer with a desire to "punish" his victims by hacking off limbs while leaving them alive, then tossing them off the side of the road when he runs out of limbs. Here's the thing: there's only 1 murder victim in this movie. 1 victim does NOT make a serial killer, nor does it bring in the FBI. Idiots. 

Blue, blue, blue everywhere. There is SOOOOO much blue in this film with props, set designs and wardrobes for......what? Blue identifies the difference between Aubrey (the "good" Lohan) and Dakota (the naughty Lohan) but it also is heavily used by the "killer" who has nothing to do with being identifiably different between separated at birth sisters. All we can figure is that the Director really liked the Sixth Sense and wanted to follow in Razzie winning Director M. Knight Shamalyan's (whatever spelling) footsteps. Boo....

Despite all this we kinda enjoyed this movie. Its VERY riffable. A couple funny friends and a couple Lohan style glasses of vodka and you can have alot of fun. It's really really bad and really really dumb but still alot of moments that are laughable. Giant cat balls, mirror monologueing,  disappearing characters, inept cops, and a robot hand delivered by Snoop Dogg...this thing doesn't let up with dumbness. We recommend it.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:2-star
Cheesy effects:0-star
Horrendous acting:5-star
Ridiculous stunts:0-star
Gratuitous nudity:1-star
Memorable one-liners:3-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 3-star
Bad Movie Quality:6-star

Prelude to Hell Comes to Frogtown
Prelude to I Know Who Killed Me

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Thursday, 22 February 2024

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