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From Justin to Kelly

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Nothing says box office magic like a contractually-obligated lead with zero acting experience teams up for a teen sex-romp with no teens or sex with 50-something moms as the target market.

Surprisingly, 2 of 3 Stinker Madness hosts say this is a do. They say that its just so bad that it comes back around to being watchable and a must-see for bad movie fans. They say that there's enough bad dancing, terrible costumes, horrendous songs, and enough hovercraft deaths to keep one engaged. They say..well who cares what they say - they aren't writing this crap.

This movie is unviewable. If you happen to have a soul left, like this 1 of 3 Stinker Madness host still does, then while viewing this you may have some unintended health consequences, such as heads put through walls, eyeball clawing, execution of anvil-based booby traps, taking over Gotham after giving an interview to Robert Deniro and/or then giving a very strange speech that everyone seems to think they should be praising.

The characters are reprehensible. There's plenty of "boys will be boys". There's bitch friends and douche friends and friends that ruin people's lives due to their privilege. There's nerd-shaming and internet dating mocking. There's "I'll love him no matter how badly he treats me". There's assault that's instantly forgiven and on and on the list of abhorrent behavior that is forgiven because there's a song immediately afterward goes on and on and on.

The script is drivel. The songs are gadawful. And I think I'm over how silly hovercraft(s) are. Maybe I'm broken inside more than I thought. Either way, don't watch this unless you are a masochist or are touring the bottom 100. This belongs there for sure.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:1-star
Cheesy effects:0-star
Horrendous acting:4-star
Ridiculous stunts:1-star
Gratuitous nudity:0-star
Memorable one-liners:2-star
Nonsensical Plot:2-star


Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 1-star
Bad Movie Quality:2-star

2019 SMABFA Awards
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Sunday, 25 February 2024

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