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Deep Blue Sea

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Beloved (by us) director Renny Harlin shares with us his vision of Frankenstein in which Man isn't just the monster, Man is a bunch of bumbling idiots that have a hard time avoiding killing themselves.

It isn't just that this is full blown idiot plot, its that these people are so stupid in ever maneuver they do, including the entire reason the film happens that its a surprise they are able to understand which appendage socks go on. We're talking bovine levels of intelligence. I mean, they leave the shark in the science lab while conducting "science" and its only secured by a ratcheting tie-down - the kind one buys at Home Depot when they need to move a mattress across town. Of course, you all are gonna get eaten! The ineptitude and holes in common sense just escalate from their and culminate with the protagonist (maybe? this is a topic for much debate) tries to be a hero but only manages to make the situation far worse and also results in getting chomped up pretty nicely.

The CGI is bad. Real bad. Bad by 1999's standards. Usually bad CGI is an instant no-go for us as it can be nausea inducing (I'm looking at you, The Asylum) but here, there is a little charm to its badness. It's not anything other than just goofy looking. Think of your children's drawings. They're really bad, right? But there are still cute and lovable. This may be one of a handful of examples where the awful effects are endearing. Name three more films that can say that? I'll wait.

Season with classic Renny Harlin "just keep rolling" maneuvers, the most memorable death scene in history and its obvious "This ain't your daddy's Jaws" tone and you've got a stinker that only suffers by being about 15 minutes too long. Its required viewing.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:4-star
Cheesy effects:5-star
Horrendous acting:2-star
Ridiculous stunts:3-star
Gratuitous nudity:1-star
Memorable one-liners:3-star
Nonsensical Plot:5-star


Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 4-star
Bad Movie Quality:7-star

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Saturday, 24 February 2024

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