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American Ninja 5

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Hold on to your black belts, folks, because "American Ninja 5" is the ultimate karate kick to the face of movie-making! It's so ridiculous, it's actually kind of hilarious.

David Bradley returns as Joe, the American Ninja, in this fifth installment of the series that should have ended after the second movie. This time around, Joe is on a mission to save his girlfriend and stop an evil ninja organization from taking over the world. Sounds simple enough, right? Wrong.

The plot of this movie is about as coherent as a drunk man trying to explain the meaning of life. Predictably, the villain has a terrible profit generation scheme of which he could have made ridiculous amounts of money if he wasn't a bad guy. It's a mishmash of cliches, bad one-liners, and over-the-top fight scenes that defy the laws of physics. And let's not forget about the comically inept henchmen who make the Keystone Cops look like Navy SEALs.

But what really sets "American Ninja 5" apart is the acting. David Bradley's wooden delivery is almost impressive in its complete lack of emotion. And Pat Morita, of "Karate Kid" fame, looks like he's just there for the paycheck.

The fight scenes are so ridiculous, they're almost worth watching just for the laughs. There's one scene where Joe fights off a group of ninjas and teaches his child sidekick how to kill people. Yes, you read that right. And another scene where he uses a piece of cardboard as a weapon. It's like watching a bizarre fever dream.

Overall, "American Ninja 5" is a movie that's so bad, it's almost good. It's a cheesy, nonsensical, and entirely unapologetic action-comedy that's sure to leave you shaking your head and wondering how on earth this movie ever got made. So if you're looking for a good laugh, grab some popcorn and settle in for a martial arts movie that's truly a masterpiece of absurdity.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:3-star
Cheesy effects:2-star
Horrendous acting:4-star
Laugh-out-loud-ability:3-star
Ridiculous stunts:1-star
Gratuitous nudity:0-star
Memorable one-liners:2-star
Nonsensical Plot:4-star

Riffability:4-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 2-star
Bad Movie Quality:6-star

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Saturday, 24 February 2024

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